by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
You know the truth of where you are now, you have defined your purpose in life, so what is next? The process to setting goals is simple, easy and effective. The process needs to happen at least six times. Why are we setting goals? We set goals to have a balanced life. You are the one who gets to define what Balance is for you. Balance in life consists of putting focus into 6 main categories.
The six categories that define a balanced life are: Health, Relationships, Career, Finances, Religion/Faith/Spirituality, and Personal Emotional Health. A person may expand or consolidate a few categories. I personally have two Career categories and have combined my Religion/Faith/Spirituality and Personal Emotional Health categories into one single category.
Here is a great coaching exercise to give you some perspective. Draw a circle and divide it into 6 areas (like cutting a pie or pizza). The center of the circle represents a level zero and the outside circumference of the circle represents a level ten. Rate each area on a scale of zero to ten (zero is not fulfilled at all, ten is it can’t get any better). Take the number and fill in the piece of pie from the inside towards the outside to whatever level of fulfillment that you rated yourself. For example, if you are at zero you would not fill in anything, at a level 10 you would fill in the whole piece of pie, at a level 5 you would come out halfway, draw a line and fill in the piece of pie half way out from the center to the outside). Complete the process for all six categories.
Now, if this was a wheel on your car of life would you have a smooth ride or would it be bumpy as could be? Life should be in balance. It does not matter is you are balanced at a three, five, eight or ten. If you are at a ten in career and a zero in health there is a great coaching opportunity. We are only as strong as our weakest category. However, that does not mean that we have to have every piece of the pie be equal in size. Remember that every time you cut a pizza you will never be able to cut all of the pieces exactly the same size. For some, Career is a greater piece, others Health and others Relationships. The key is that they are all present and combine in a way to make a full balanced life.
Our goals should collectively bring balance to all areas of our lives to reduce conflict, increase motivation and give us more energy to create more in life and enjoy where we are at the same time.
Are you driving down the highway with a really bouncy ride? Give me a call at (480) 820-4072 take your life to the next level of success.
To our continued success,
James
4/20/07
4/18/07
A Statement of Purpose
by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
The first step towards success is defining the “truth” of where you are in your life. The second step for success is to define what your life represents. A person needs to define the purpose of their life in order to stay motivated and overcome the obstacles in life.
A purpose statement in life is built of three main components: the opening phrase, the statement for self, and the statement for others. An example would be, “The purpose of my life is to nurture myself and grow and create positive change in the world.”
The first component is the opening phrase of the statement, “The purpose of my life is to continue to…” The language is important because it needs to imply, or presuppose, that we already have an internal frame of reference for what knowing our purpose. You have an unconscious frame of reference somewhere in your mind that defines what your life purpose is and we want to tap into it. After all, after all, how would you know you want it if you have never had it before? Another example of an opening statement would be, “The purpose of my life is to experience more…” Accessing or creating the previous frame of reference in our subconscious mind is important.
The second component is all about YOU, it MUST be about you. A person who turns the other cheek without a strong internal compass is a coward. Someone who turns the other cheek and stands firm in the knowledge of who they are and what their life is about is courageous, strong, confident and someone people respect and follow. Your actions must always mean something to you and meet your internal needs. So, what is your core issue? What is the greatest thing that you have ever had to overcome in your life? I was three pounds when I was born, the doctor thought that I would not live, didn’t come home from the hospital for 3 months, and never felt like I bonded with my mother. As I moved through my healing process, I realized that it was unfair of me as a grown adult to keep looking to my mother be nurtured. Further more, it was really a disservice to myself and to my mother to keep using that experience as an excuse to not have the levels of success that I wanted in my life. I needed to take responsibility myself to “nurture myself and grow”.
The third component is all about how I make a difference in the world when I do “nurture myself and grow.” How do I show up and make a difference when I can confidently turn the other cheek. Life is really not about us and the greatest people in the world know this. You see it in the faces of the people who change the world, Pope John Paul II, Mother Theresa, and Nelson Mandela. When I am learning, growing and nurturing myself I am able to give to others at a capacity that is never ending. I verbalize the impact on the world when I live this way as, “creating positive change in the world.” At one time it was “blanket the world with my love.” However, I found a more specific and meaningful way to express what I am truly about.
There are the three components of a great Purpose Statement the opening phrase, the statement for self, and the statement for others. The reason for covering this material is that our goals and dreams need to be congruent with our Purpose Statement. If a person sets goals that are not congruent with their purpose the levels of motivation that they experience are seriously diminished.
Purpose statements may also change as we change. My new purpose statement is, “The purpose of my life is have an even more balanced, health, and fit life today in order to apply my knowledge and help others create more empowering lives.”
If you want to support in defining your Purpose Statement give me a call at (480) 820-4072 and find out how to take your life to the next level of success.
To our continued success,
James
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
The first step towards success is defining the “truth” of where you are in your life. The second step for success is to define what your life represents. A person needs to define the purpose of their life in order to stay motivated and overcome the obstacles in life.
A purpose statement in life is built of three main components: the opening phrase, the statement for self, and the statement for others. An example would be, “The purpose of my life is to nurture myself and grow and create positive change in the world.”
The first component is the opening phrase of the statement, “The purpose of my life is to continue to…” The language is important because it needs to imply, or presuppose, that we already have an internal frame of reference for what knowing our purpose. You have an unconscious frame of reference somewhere in your mind that defines what your life purpose is and we want to tap into it. After all, after all, how would you know you want it if you have never had it before? Another example of an opening statement would be, “The purpose of my life is to experience more…” Accessing or creating the previous frame of reference in our subconscious mind is important.
The second component is all about YOU, it MUST be about you. A person who turns the other cheek without a strong internal compass is a coward. Someone who turns the other cheek and stands firm in the knowledge of who they are and what their life is about is courageous, strong, confident and someone people respect and follow. Your actions must always mean something to you and meet your internal needs. So, what is your core issue? What is the greatest thing that you have ever had to overcome in your life? I was three pounds when I was born, the doctor thought that I would not live, didn’t come home from the hospital for 3 months, and never felt like I bonded with my mother. As I moved through my healing process, I realized that it was unfair of me as a grown adult to keep looking to my mother be nurtured. Further more, it was really a disservice to myself and to my mother to keep using that experience as an excuse to not have the levels of success that I wanted in my life. I needed to take responsibility myself to “nurture myself and grow”.
The third component is all about how I make a difference in the world when I do “nurture myself and grow.” How do I show up and make a difference when I can confidently turn the other cheek. Life is really not about us and the greatest people in the world know this. You see it in the faces of the people who change the world, Pope John Paul II, Mother Theresa, and Nelson Mandela. When I am learning, growing and nurturing myself I am able to give to others at a capacity that is never ending. I verbalize the impact on the world when I live this way as, “creating positive change in the world.” At one time it was “blanket the world with my love.” However, I found a more specific and meaningful way to express what I am truly about.
There are the three components of a great Purpose Statement the opening phrase, the statement for self, and the statement for others. The reason for covering this material is that our goals and dreams need to be congruent with our Purpose Statement. If a person sets goals that are not congruent with their purpose the levels of motivation that they experience are seriously diminished.
Purpose statements may also change as we change. My new purpose statement is, “The purpose of my life is have an even more balanced, health, and fit life today in order to apply my knowledge and help others create more empowering lives.”
If you want to support in defining your Purpose Statement give me a call at (480) 820-4072 and find out how to take your life to the next level of success.
To our continued success,
James
4/11/07
Get Real...Fast!
By James M Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ & Hypnosis
Behavioral Specialist
The first part of any change is to “Get Real.” You have heard this saying before but why is it so important? It is hard to look in a mirror and take a good hard look at ourselves. How many of you have full length mirrors in your bathroom and you walk by them everyday without stopping and really taking a look at yourself?
"Get Real" means that you stop and take a good hard look at where you are, NOW! Step on the scale and see exactly what it reads. This is a painful but necessary part of any change. It is also the first step of taking control of your life.
It is far easier to ignore the mirror and start to compare ourselves to others who are worse off than we are. You have hear it before, “Well, I’m not as big as so and so.” Or, “At least I am in a size 36 pants instead of a 40.” Statements such as these minimize/generalize where we are and in doing so we lose the emotional edge (usually frustration, anger, etc) that will allow us to move and create change. Nobody changes without a healthy level of frustration!
During my infantry training we learned land navigation. The first step in the process was to look at the map and figure out the 8 digit grid coordinate on the map for where we were, right then. It was the first step before we went anywhere. Without taking a good hard look at where we were starting from, we could not figure out any of the other calculations necessary to make it through to the other points along the route. If you were off in your initial calculation of where you started from you were lost before you ever began.
The first part of any change is to “Get Real” with where you are. You are not “a little heavy”; you don’t need to “lose a few.” The scale reads in at 240, you are 50 pounds overweight and you have a big fat butt. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can change!
Pick an area of your life that you want to change and “Get Real.” Now! Stop comparing yourself to others and retelling those same old stories, everyone is getting tired of hearing them anyway! Define with specificity where you are today so that you can succeed in the future. If you feel that healthy level of frustration at where you are, you are on the path to success.
Stay tuned for the next step tomorrow!
To our continued success,
James
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ & Hypnosis
Behavioral Specialist
The first part of any change is to “Get Real.” You have heard this saying before but why is it so important? It is hard to look in a mirror and take a good hard look at ourselves. How many of you have full length mirrors in your bathroom and you walk by them everyday without stopping and really taking a look at yourself?
"Get Real" means that you stop and take a good hard look at where you are, NOW! Step on the scale and see exactly what it reads. This is a painful but necessary part of any change. It is also the first step of taking control of your life.
It is far easier to ignore the mirror and start to compare ourselves to others who are worse off than we are. You have hear it before, “Well, I’m not as big as so and so.” Or, “At least I am in a size 36 pants instead of a 40.” Statements such as these minimize/generalize where we are and in doing so we lose the emotional edge (usually frustration, anger, etc) that will allow us to move and create change. Nobody changes without a healthy level of frustration!
During my infantry training we learned land navigation. The first step in the process was to look at the map and figure out the 8 digit grid coordinate on the map for where we were, right then. It was the first step before we went anywhere. Without taking a good hard look at where we were starting from, we could not figure out any of the other calculations necessary to make it through to the other points along the route. If you were off in your initial calculation of where you started from you were lost before you ever began.
The first part of any change is to “Get Real” with where you are. You are not “a little heavy”; you don’t need to “lose a few.” The scale reads in at 240, you are 50 pounds overweight and you have a big fat butt. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can change!
Pick an area of your life that you want to change and “Get Real.” Now! Stop comparing yourself to others and retelling those same old stories, everyone is getting tired of hearing them anyway! Define with specificity where you are today so that you can succeed in the future. If you feel that healthy level of frustration at where you are, you are on the path to success.
Stay tuned for the next step tomorrow!
To our continued success,
James
4/5/07
The Power of Choice
by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
Success is dependent on one thing, choice. In the last movie of the Matrix trilogy, Neo and Mr. Smith are fighting. During the fight, Mr. Smith asks Neo, “Why are you still fighting? You know that you are going to lose. Don’t tell me it is for love, happiness, or other people. Why don’t you just give up? Why are you still fighting?” Neo’s answer is deep in its simplicity. He says, “Because I choose too.”
All personal growth, self help, changing your emotional states and your thinking come down to one thing; a person has to CHOOSE to take a different action if they want something different. And, it will be continuous, tough, and challenging. A person needs to be resilient, patient, and kind to themselves as they move through the process of change.
During my NLP training, the instructor said one thing that has really stuck with me. He said that when it comes to your clients, you do not want clients. You want successful clients. What determines a successful client? A successful client is someone who wants to change. It is true that you can not hypnotize someone into doing something that they are not willing to do. A successful client will put in the constant hard work and dedication to get back up every time they fall.
During my last Tony Robbins event, Date with Destiny, I found myself absolutely frustrated because I wanted to fix myself and be done with it. I wanted to finally let go of the responsibility to choose to change. After all, I had spent the last 5 years working on myself. I graduated college after flunking out, lost 60 pounds, found a great career path as a US Marshal after waiting a year and a half to get through the hiring process, and was dating a great gal. Why wasn’t I happy inside? I just wanted to get it over with and be done with it. So, I asked the personal trainer, “ I have been working in this self help (*&^^#@$@ for the last 5 years and you are telling me that I am going to have to do this every day for the rest of my life? She replied simply, “Yes!” I am not proud of my response. I flipper her the bird and said, “Well, I am good enough how I am right now.”
I have found that success is holding both paradigms in my mind at the same time. Finding balance, success, and worth in myself and my life now while at the same time respecting my need and desire to always be more. That is one of the greatest human paradoxes. How many people do you know that are only one or the other? They either focus on always being and having more to the detriment of having peace and happiness in their life today or else they are so intent on just being good now and living in the now that they lack any direction or future that will help them to become more?
Choice is the key to success. You always have a choice of what to think, believe, feel, experience and create for yourself. The power to choose a different action today will give you the future that you desire. Be thankful for all that you have today and respect your need to always be and do more. Take the responsibility to create the life of your dreams today and everyday for the rest of your life. It is the hardest and most rewarding job you will ever have!
What do you want different in your life? What are you going to CHOOSE to do in order to have a different experience? Choose to call today and start a new life!
To our continued success,
James
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
Success is dependent on one thing, choice. In the last movie of the Matrix trilogy, Neo and Mr. Smith are fighting. During the fight, Mr. Smith asks Neo, “Why are you still fighting? You know that you are going to lose. Don’t tell me it is for love, happiness, or other people. Why don’t you just give up? Why are you still fighting?” Neo’s answer is deep in its simplicity. He says, “Because I choose too.”
All personal growth, self help, changing your emotional states and your thinking come down to one thing; a person has to CHOOSE to take a different action if they want something different. And, it will be continuous, tough, and challenging. A person needs to be resilient, patient, and kind to themselves as they move through the process of change.
During my NLP training, the instructor said one thing that has really stuck with me. He said that when it comes to your clients, you do not want clients. You want successful clients. What determines a successful client? A successful client is someone who wants to change. It is true that you can not hypnotize someone into doing something that they are not willing to do. A successful client will put in the constant hard work and dedication to get back up every time they fall.
During my last Tony Robbins event, Date with Destiny, I found myself absolutely frustrated because I wanted to fix myself and be done with it. I wanted to finally let go of the responsibility to choose to change. After all, I had spent the last 5 years working on myself. I graduated college after flunking out, lost 60 pounds, found a great career path as a US Marshal after waiting a year and a half to get through the hiring process, and was dating a great gal. Why wasn’t I happy inside? I just wanted to get it over with and be done with it. So, I asked the personal trainer, “ I have been working in this self help (*&^^#@$@ for the last 5 years and you are telling me that I am going to have to do this every day for the rest of my life? She replied simply, “Yes!” I am not proud of my response. I flipper her the bird and said, “Well, I am good enough how I am right now.”
I have found that success is holding both paradigms in my mind at the same time. Finding balance, success, and worth in myself and my life now while at the same time respecting my need and desire to always be more. That is one of the greatest human paradoxes. How many people do you know that are only one or the other? They either focus on always being and having more to the detriment of having peace and happiness in their life today or else they are so intent on just being good now and living in the now that they lack any direction or future that will help them to become more?
Choice is the key to success. You always have a choice of what to think, believe, feel, experience and create for yourself. The power to choose a different action today will give you the future that you desire. Be thankful for all that you have today and respect your need to always be and do more. Take the responsibility to create the life of your dreams today and everyday for the rest of your life. It is the hardest and most rewarding job you will ever have!
What do you want different in your life? What are you going to CHOOSE to do in order to have a different experience? Choose to call today and start a new life!
To our continued success,
James
4/4/07
Top Ten Empowering Emotional States
by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
Motion creates emotion and mastering our emotional states is the key to success in life. Emotions are like sound waves. Each carries its own vibration level. You have experienced this at sometime in your life. For example, what is the energy level of a funeral home versus the energy level in a Superbowl or Final Four basketball game?
The vibration level of an emotion has similar characteristics found in atoms. In an atom there is a nucleus that consists of protons and neutrons. Electrons rotate in orbit around the nucleus at varying distances. The greater the energy level of the atom the farther away from the nucleus the electrons are able to orbit. Similarly, there are more electrons in orbit for higher energy atoms. This creates a greater energy field around the nucleus. This relationship is directly related to the Law of Attraction. The greater our emotional states the greater our sphere of attraction and the more a person will create or manifest. The more negative the thoughts, actions, and energy levels; the less of a sphere of attraction a person will have. If the negative emotions are strong enough the reverse process happens. A person will tend to repel what they most want and get what they “don’t want.” Our thoughts and emotions are like a magnet. At any moment we are either attract to us more of what we want or repelling what we want and attracting what we do not want. What are the primary emotions that will allow us to have the greatest levels of energy, ability to attract what we want and most successful life?
The Top Nine Empowering Emotions Ranked According to Energy Levels (Power VS Force by David Hawkins)
1. Enlightenment ~ Ineffable
2. Peace ~ Bliss
3. Joy ~ Serenity
4. Love ~ Reverence
5. Reason ~ Understanding
6. Acceptance ~ Forgiveness
7. Willingness ~ Optimism
8. Neutrality ~ Trust
9. Courage ~ Affirmation
The Top Ten Empowering Emotions for a Successful Life
1. Love
2. Gratitude/Appreciation
3. Curiosity
4. Excitement and Passion
5. Determination
6. Flexibility
7. Confidence
8. Cheerfulness
9. Health
10. Contribution/Giving
If you are experiencing any of the Top Ten Disempowering Emotions listed in my previous blog there are two solutions to get to one of the more empowering emotional states listed above.
1. Change your perception. Attach a different meaning to the situation that created or triggered the negative emotional state. In NLP, we ask the question, “What is there to learn from this, the learning of which will allow me to let go of these negative emotions easily and effortlessly? This will lead to you develop new internal beliefs, value systems and rules for the future.
2. Change your procedure. This is an external approach to take a different action in the future. Stop putting yourself in the situation where the disempowering emotional state is triggered. A person creates a change in their environment to produce a new or different emotional state.
The most important rule of all when it comes to experiencing different emotional states in our life is that you must give first before you receive. If you want more love in your life you need to practice giving love first. It is the choice to put yourself in motion and attaching a positive meaning to the action that creates the emotional state that you most desire. Sitting on the front porch swing waiting to get some energy to go exercise and walk will never produce greater health and vitality. You need to choose to get up and go walk and find a way to mentally focus on it being a good thing to create the new levels of health and vitality that you are looking for.
Most individuals tend to feel a core group of 10-12 emotions and do not deviate from them except on a rare occasion, like vacation. To experience more of life and change the emotional states you feel consistently takes work and practice. The hard work and dedication will pay off in the end with a better quality of life and you will attract more of what you desire.
Call or email for more information on how you can continue to control your emotional life instead of it controlling you.
To our continued success,
James
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
Motion creates emotion and mastering our emotional states is the key to success in life. Emotions are like sound waves. Each carries its own vibration level. You have experienced this at sometime in your life. For example, what is the energy level of a funeral home versus the energy level in a Superbowl or Final Four basketball game?
The vibration level of an emotion has similar characteristics found in atoms. In an atom there is a nucleus that consists of protons and neutrons. Electrons rotate in orbit around the nucleus at varying distances. The greater the energy level of the atom the farther away from the nucleus the electrons are able to orbit. Similarly, there are more electrons in orbit for higher energy atoms. This creates a greater energy field around the nucleus. This relationship is directly related to the Law of Attraction. The greater our emotional states the greater our sphere of attraction and the more a person will create or manifest. The more negative the thoughts, actions, and energy levels; the less of a sphere of attraction a person will have. If the negative emotions are strong enough the reverse process happens. A person will tend to repel what they most want and get what they “don’t want.” Our thoughts and emotions are like a magnet. At any moment we are either attract to us more of what we want or repelling what we want and attracting what we do not want. What are the primary emotions that will allow us to have the greatest levels of energy, ability to attract what we want and most successful life?
The Top Nine Empowering Emotions Ranked According to Energy Levels (Power VS Force by David Hawkins)
1. Enlightenment ~ Ineffable
2. Peace ~ Bliss
3. Joy ~ Serenity
4. Love ~ Reverence
5. Reason ~ Understanding
6. Acceptance ~ Forgiveness
7. Willingness ~ Optimism
8. Neutrality ~ Trust
9. Courage ~ Affirmation
The Top Ten Empowering Emotions for a Successful Life
1. Love
2. Gratitude/Appreciation
3. Curiosity
4. Excitement and Passion
5. Determination
6. Flexibility
7. Confidence
8. Cheerfulness
9. Health
10. Contribution/Giving
If you are experiencing any of the Top Ten Disempowering Emotions listed in my previous blog there are two solutions to get to one of the more empowering emotional states listed above.
1. Change your perception. Attach a different meaning to the situation that created or triggered the negative emotional state. In NLP, we ask the question, “What is there to learn from this, the learning of which will allow me to let go of these negative emotions easily and effortlessly? This will lead to you develop new internal beliefs, value systems and rules for the future.
2. Change your procedure. This is an external approach to take a different action in the future. Stop putting yourself in the situation where the disempowering emotional state is triggered. A person creates a change in their environment to produce a new or different emotional state.
The most important rule of all when it comes to experiencing different emotional states in our life is that you must give first before you receive. If you want more love in your life you need to practice giving love first. It is the choice to put yourself in motion and attaching a positive meaning to the action that creates the emotional state that you most desire. Sitting on the front porch swing waiting to get some energy to go exercise and walk will never produce greater health and vitality. You need to choose to get up and go walk and find a way to mentally focus on it being a good thing to create the new levels of health and vitality that you are looking for.
Most individuals tend to feel a core group of 10-12 emotions and do not deviate from them except on a rare occasion, like vacation. To experience more of life and change the emotional states you feel consistently takes work and practice. The hard work and dedication will pay off in the end with a better quality of life and you will attract more of what you desire.
Call or email for more information on how you can continue to control your emotional life instead of it controlling you.
To our continued success,
James
4/2/07
The Top Ten Disempowering Emotions: What are they trying to tell us?
by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
When people talk about changing their life they are really talking about changing the quality and intensity of the emotional states that they consistently experience. There are certain emotional states that we are driven towards and certain emotional states that we are driven away from.
Emotions give us insight into where we are incongruent in our values, beliefs, and unresolved significant emotional events. The outcome of any coaching or intervention process is to ease emotional conflict within a person and increase wholeness by attaching new meanings to their experiences. That increases choice and wholeness within a person.
The Top Ten Disempowering Emotions that people experience and the message they are working to communicate to you are:
1. Uncomfortable:
Message: When you feel bothered, impatient, bored, or irritated this emotion is telling you that you can be more than who you currently are.
Solution: Need to change your emotional state, get clear on what you want, and take an immediate action to achieve/experience something new.
2. Fear
Message: When you feel concern, apprehension, worry or terror this emotion is telling you that something is coming up in the future that you are not prepared for. This emotion gives you massive energy to prepare for the unforeseen.
Solution: Identify what is coming up in the future that you are not prepared for, find a new solution and take action to confront and walk through the fear.
3. Hurt
Message: When you feel a sense of loss or if means that an expectation has not been met. This is an important indicator that shows the depth of your caring about yourself of another individual/situation.
Solution: Identify if the expectation is still valid. Is it your responsibility or theirs for the emotion of the moment? Is the expectation still valid and useful? Identify what is within your direct control and influence to support the other person or yourself through the moment, adjust expectations for the future.
4. Anger
Message: When you feel irritated, angry, resentful, furious, livid, enraged, (usually from hurt) it is a fire and depth of emotional energy to make things right. It means that a standard that you have is not being met by yourself or others.
Solution: Use this deep intense energy to adjust your standards for yourself or others and take an immediate action to move towards resolution to the challenge or issue.
5. Frustration
Message: You keep trying the same thing to achieve your dreams/goals and it is not working.
Solution: Stay focused on your outcomes and change your approach. Try doing the exact opposite of what you are currently trying to get a different result.
6. Disappointment
Message: It shows the depth of your caring you have towards the person/situation and the high standards that you have set.
Solution: Change your expectation, adjust the time frames on the goals or things that you want to have/experience and remember that God’s delays are not God’s denials. That old saying, “there are no unreasonable goals, only unreasonable time frames attached to them sometimes,” could be applicable.
7. Guilt/Regret
Message: You violated a standard or belief that your hold true for yourself and you are not following through on what you know is best for you
Solution: Clean up your act! Step forward and do what you know is right and true for you independent of what others may think is “best for you” or “what you can or can not do”
8. Inadequacy
Message: You feel less that worthy, your own value and worth is low
Solution: Use this emotion to set outcomes for you to learn, grow, and contribute to others
9. Overwhelm/Overloaded
Message: You are feeling hopeless, helpless, depressed because events are controlling you instead of you controlling events
Solution: Reevaluate what is truly important to you in life, distinguish between Must’s, Should’s and Want’s, then take action
10. LonelinessMessage: Feeling alone and separate from others and you need a new form of connection
Solution: Find inside yourself a way to reconnect or look outside of yourself to your friends, family, peers, and groups to help those more in need
These Top Ten Disempowering Emotions are calls to action and unlocking more in life. With the understanding of the Message that they are trying to tell us and the Solution on how to work through them, life becomes easier and easier. You will always continue to experience these Top Ten Emotions in your life. A new paradigm of measuring success comes from decreasing the amount of time that it takes to understand the Message where we are not congruent, find a new solution, and take action to move through them every time you feel them.
When you work through your emotional states you begin to control your life instead of your life controlling you. That is personal power! They will lead you to the Top Ten Empowering Emotions! We will address those next time!
To our continued success,
James
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
When people talk about changing their life they are really talking about changing the quality and intensity of the emotional states that they consistently experience. There are certain emotional states that we are driven towards and certain emotional states that we are driven away from.
Emotions give us insight into where we are incongruent in our values, beliefs, and unresolved significant emotional events. The outcome of any coaching or intervention process is to ease emotional conflict within a person and increase wholeness by attaching new meanings to their experiences. That increases choice and wholeness within a person.
The Top Ten Disempowering Emotions that people experience and the message they are working to communicate to you are:
1. Uncomfortable:
Message: When you feel bothered, impatient, bored, or irritated this emotion is telling you that you can be more than who you currently are.
Solution: Need to change your emotional state, get clear on what you want, and take an immediate action to achieve/experience something new.
2. Fear
Message: When you feel concern, apprehension, worry or terror this emotion is telling you that something is coming up in the future that you are not prepared for. This emotion gives you massive energy to prepare for the unforeseen.
Solution: Identify what is coming up in the future that you are not prepared for, find a new solution and take action to confront and walk through the fear.
3. Hurt
Message: When you feel a sense of loss or if means that an expectation has not been met. This is an important indicator that shows the depth of your caring about yourself of another individual/situation.
Solution: Identify if the expectation is still valid. Is it your responsibility or theirs for the emotion of the moment? Is the expectation still valid and useful? Identify what is within your direct control and influence to support the other person or yourself through the moment, adjust expectations for the future.
4. Anger
Message: When you feel irritated, angry, resentful, furious, livid, enraged, (usually from hurt) it is a fire and depth of emotional energy to make things right. It means that a standard that you have is not being met by yourself or others.
Solution: Use this deep intense energy to adjust your standards for yourself or others and take an immediate action to move towards resolution to the challenge or issue.
5. Frustration
Message: You keep trying the same thing to achieve your dreams/goals and it is not working.
Solution: Stay focused on your outcomes and change your approach. Try doing the exact opposite of what you are currently trying to get a different result.
6. Disappointment
Message: It shows the depth of your caring you have towards the person/situation and the high standards that you have set.
Solution: Change your expectation, adjust the time frames on the goals or things that you want to have/experience and remember that God’s delays are not God’s denials. That old saying, “there are no unreasonable goals, only unreasonable time frames attached to them sometimes,” could be applicable.
7. Guilt/Regret
Message: You violated a standard or belief that your hold true for yourself and you are not following through on what you know is best for you
Solution: Clean up your act! Step forward and do what you know is right and true for you independent of what others may think is “best for you” or “what you can or can not do”
8. Inadequacy
Message: You feel less that worthy, your own value and worth is low
Solution: Use this emotion to set outcomes for you to learn, grow, and contribute to others
9. Overwhelm/Overloaded
Message: You are feeling hopeless, helpless, depressed because events are controlling you instead of you controlling events
Solution: Reevaluate what is truly important to you in life, distinguish between Must’s, Should’s and Want’s, then take action
10. LonelinessMessage: Feeling alone and separate from others and you need a new form of connection
Solution: Find inside yourself a way to reconnect or look outside of yourself to your friends, family, peers, and groups to help those more in need
These Top Ten Disempowering Emotions are calls to action and unlocking more in life. With the understanding of the Message that they are trying to tell us and the Solution on how to work through them, life becomes easier and easier. You will always continue to experience these Top Ten Emotions in your life. A new paradigm of measuring success comes from decreasing the amount of time that it takes to understand the Message where we are not congruent, find a new solution, and take action to move through them every time you feel them.
When you work through your emotional states you begin to control your life instead of your life controlling you. That is personal power! They will lead you to the Top Ten Empowering Emotions! We will address those next time!
To our continued success,
James
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