Life Coaching Tip: Stay Ignorant!!!

Sometimes, Ignorance is Bliss...


I heard a really interesting story the other day that you may find some value in when it comes to your personal development, attaining goals, and living life.


There was a man once who really wanted something in life. Driving down a country lane to get there, he accidentally took his eye off of the road and drove straight into the ditch. Fortunately, a local farmer was passed by thirty minutes later with a horse.

"Could your horse pull my car out of the ditch?" asked the driver.  

"Buddy's a Clydesdale," said the farmer, "let's see what he can do for you."  

The farmer hitched Buddy to the car and said: "Pull, Blackie, Pull!" Buddy didn't move an inch. 

Then the farmer said, "Pull, Sampson, Pull!" Buddy still didn't move an inch.

The farmer said again, "Pull, Jackson, Pull!" And still, Buddy didn't move an inch.

Then the farmer yelled, "PULL, BUDDY, PULL!!" And Buddy pulled the car effortlessly out of the ditch.

The grateful driver was confused.  "Let me ask you a question," he said, "why did you keep calling Buddy by the wrong name?" 

"Well," said the farmer, "you see, Buddy is blind. And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

When I sit down with people in a life or executive coaching session and we define a compelling future for them, one of the first thing that shows up is their desire to know exactly what to do in order to reach the goal. 


However, if someone really knew all of the problems, challenges, and emotional stress they were going to have to go through to achieve their goals...many would never even start!  If someone really knew, in advance, all of the challenges they would have to face to run their first marathon, get that next job, or find that dream spouse, they would be so overwhelmed they would probably never start. 


So, sometimes not knowing all of the obstacles and challenges that are going to happen in the pursuit of a goal makes the term, "ignorance is bliss" true.  Successful goal achievement comes from taking on the challenges one day at a time, asking for help when you get off track, and engaging faith to access your untapped potential in the face of adversity. And no matter what, keep pulling even when you can't see!  

The A.N.T.S Go Marching....

Our thoughts are just like ANTS. Those Automatic Negative ThoughtS (A.N.T.S.) are constantly on the move looking for something sweet to feed on. A person's brain is always thinking and creating new thoughts and beliefs, even while we sleep. 

Learning to direct our thoughts to those healthy food sources will lead to a more productive, fruitful, and positive mindset. Listen to my latest podcast to learn how to deal with the ANTS that may be invading your personal life!

http://evolutionforsuccess.podomatic.com/player/web/2011-06-13T21_40_43-07_00


Enjoy!

How to save a drowning rat

Would you be interested in knowing "HOW" to save a drowning rat?

There has not been much positive news for the past couple of years. The media seems intent on presenting everything noteworthy that is the opposite of empowering or positive.  ...unemployment, foreclosures, budget cuts; it's all around us.  Even putting the media aside, when we look at our personal lives, at our neighbors, family or friends, it's clear that for many this is a stressful time.

By now, you probably want to quit reading this and get back to the news - after all, it is more cheery than my Thought of the Week! My mood is becoming depressed just writing about this!!!  However, I have a suggestion that may help us all cope with the negativity. And how does this relate to saving a drowning rat, you ask? 

There was an experiment conducted where scientists put a single rat in a container it could not get out of, and then filled it with water. They placed the container in a completely dark room, and timed how long the rat swam before it drowned. How long do you think it swam? Well, it lasted a little more than 3 minutes. 

For the second part of the experiment, they placed a rat in the same container, in the same room, with the same water level, but this time they had a bright beam of light shine into the darkness for the rat to see. Guess how long the rat lasted before it finally drowned? This time, it swam for over 36 hours.

When I was in US Army Airborne School, the Army Chaplain said a prayer with us before we loaded up for our first parachute jump. He stated that we had nothing to worry about, as the jump field we were about to fly over was the most holy place in Georgia. According to the chaplain, more people prayed flying over that small piece of land than anywhere else in the state!!!  He encouraged us to add our little part to the holiness of the jump field site.

In life, if someone wants the identity of being an honest person, they have to experience a moment where the opportunity to steal is present and choose not to. If you want to be a person who is able to find new opportunities as we work through the changes in our world right now, you are going to be tested. We are all being tested, NOW.

It is hope, faith, and optimism that keep us from giving up when things seem hopeless; that keep us believing in opportunity and the promise for a better tomorrow. That is what brings us through dark times when we feel like we are swimming for our very survival. That is what makes the difference between making it 3 minutes or 36 hours, 3 days or 36 days, 36 weeks or the next 36 years. A person of faith is such because they have been tested and have overcome. That is what gives you the courage to jump into a new experience, be a person of character, and keep swimming when everything around you seems dark.

There are always two things we can focus on: the darkness or the light.  We have a choice. What is the beam of light that gives you hope, faith, and optimism? Now is the time, more than ever, to feed your mind positive messages, to do whatever you can that will strengthen your sense of faith and hope for a better tomorrow. 

I know you can last a lot longer than you think. Keep Swimming.

You DO NOT have to let fear limit the way you live your life!

No matter what your phobia is, and regardless of how long you have been inconvenienced by it, 

your phobia can be cured!

You do not have to let fear limit the way you live your life.  

NLP has been proven to be one of the most effective ways to remove a phobia.  In fact, clearing phobias is what NLP was made famous for!

Whether you are dealing with a fear of flying, a fear of spiders or snakes, or claustrophobia, you know better than anyone how much these fears not only negatively impact your life but often also impact the lives of the ones you love.  

It doesn't have to be that way!  You can be free of those limitations.  In 2 (pain free) sessions you can live life fully and on your own terms!

What is a phobia?

A phobia is an intense irrational fear. The root cause of the phobia can usually be traced back to an emotionally charged event when a biological response became associated at an unconscious level with a particular trigger or stimulus.  When re-presented with the trigger, such as being in a closed in space for instance, the associated response is triggered, most commonly resulting in extreme feelings of anxiety, fear and panic.

How can we remove a phobia?

Using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), any phobia can be eliminated quickly and easily without medication and without the painful process deconditioning. There is no side effect and the results are immediate since NLP addresses the source of the phobia and not the symptoms.

The process consists of 2 sessions.  Sessions can be conducted in person if you live in the Raleigh area or over the phone, and last 45 minutes.  

From now until the 4th of July --just in time for the fireworks--, I would like to offer you, your family and your friends a special pricing of $225 for both sessions!  

Call today to get started and

Experience the freedom of life without fears or phobias!

919-745-7569

Are you taking steps toward what you want?

When would you like to make your first million? When would you like to find and marry your soul mate? When would you like to drop those extra pounds so you look good this summer? When would you like to find a better sense of peace in your life? When would you like to get to that next promotion and pay raise at work?

If you are like most people, the answer to all of these questions is easy. I am sure you would like to have had it all yesterday! Maybe a person could settle for right now, but yesterday would probably have been better!

It is true that whatever you want, you can't have it yesterday. However, you can choose to take action towards those results right now. If you want that million dollars and pass on making that extra payment to pay off your debt, you are missing out on having that million dollars for now. If you fail to smile and just say hello to that attractive guy or gal at the grocery store, you might be missing out on your soul mate. If you don't leave just one more bite of food on your plate than you did yesterday, you are missing out on that great beach body. 

A person may say, "But James, that one extra payment, smile, and bite of food are not enough!" Says who? If you are not willing to manage your money and will waste an opportunity to take a step toward being debt free, how can you manage a million? If you are not willing to give more than you expect back in a relationship and pass on a smile that may make someone's day go from bad to great, how can you emotionally support your soul mate? If you can't pass on that one bite of food and eat 40 less calories at every meal (840 calories a week is almost 1/3 lb), then how will you be able to manage passing on all of the deserts when you are out with friends so you can feel fantastic on the beach?

Managing your life comes down to managing moments. If the small results are not enough for you to acknowledge and appreciate, you may never have the appreciation for attaining the end goal. We are the ones who make things bigger, harder, and more difficult than they need to be. Why not make feeling good about yourself and your actions be easy? How many more happy people would there be in the world. Life is only as difficult as you make it! 

The key to getting results NOW is to manage and appreciate the moments and the immediate actions you take right now in order to make a difference in your life.  

To  your continued success, 

James

Fear and Excitement Are Close Cousins

You will have to forgive me again for talking about running this week! This weekend is my big 100-mile race that you have all been reading about for the last six months, so bear with me one more time.  Well, perhaps I will give a recap on what I get from the race next week and then I am done talking about it, I promise!

Anyway, I as I was packing enough clothes and food for the entire crew of the USS Ronald Reagan aircraft carrier tonight, I am feeling a mixture of excitement, fear and anxiety. I always tell my clients, "If you are looking for financial planner, get one who is debt free and works because they choose to". Same for a coach, "Get one who says I am my own best client." 

I have been coaching myself hard tonight. On the eve of big life events, it is just like a ride on a roller coaster. There are only two main emotions on a roller coaster...fear and excitement. Picture the people on the ride...clenching onto the shoulder harness in fear and putting their hands up and screaming, "Bring it on!!!" at the top of their lungs.

What allows a person to let go of the shoulder harness of fear and scream with excitement is letting go of expectation and the "What if's...", along with having a little bit of faith and trust. Trust that the ride will end safely, faith that it will stay on the track, so you can enjoy the rush of adrenaline that each new exciting experience in life brings. 

Some fear and anxiety is healthy. It is what motivates me to remember to run upstairs and pack my rain jacket just in case. Being able to manage those emotions and put them to good use is critical. It allows you to feel prepared for the ride so you can let go, enjoy it free of expectation and trust that it will be a great ride. 

In the end, you will be living a life of events and rides that are thrilling. AND, you may find that you are addicted to the ride. So, I may have to go back on my word that this is the end of my writing about running for a while. After all, there is the Marine Corps Marathon in October with one of my Marine clients who will have just came back from a tour in Afghanistan (Stay safe brother!). And, I just planned for another possible marathon in France in 2013 with another fantastic friend. They serve wine at every water station and everyone dresses up! Life is full of such wonderful rides! 

Enjoy your life since you only have one. Live it fully doing what you love. Have a life full of wonderful tales to tell your grandkids as they sit on your knees! I hope you continue to ride the ride and remember that it is only a slight adjustment to go from fear and anxiety to excitement and fun. Enjoy the ride!

To your continued success,

Are You Doing What You Love?

Overnight, the death toll has risen from 800 to over 10,000 in Japan. I think of all these people who started that day like any other day.  They got up, fed the kids maybe, kissed their loved ones goodbye, and got in their car to go to work? 

Out of those 10,000 people who lost their life, I wonder how many people died doing something they loved? How many jumped out of bed that morning and lived that day like it was going to be their last? I know it is very cliche', but seriously, how many died that day doing something they totally loved?

Katherine Mansfield once wrote, " How can you hesitate? Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinion of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth."

My junior high band teacher, Mr. Bob Brown, died while out on a run. I have several other family members who have died doing what they loved or died coming back from doing something they loved. I am almost certain my Grandma Nora died with a crochet needle in her hand because other than playing Kings Corners with her, she was always crocheting another afghan for a loved one!

No matter when I die, I want to die doing something I love! I hope I die right at the end of a marathon, a great run, after telling my kids how proud of them I am, after a million dollar coaching call, watching a brilliant sunset or sunrise, or some other life event that is meaningful. I promised my wife I would live at lease one minute longer than her so she would never be widowed. No matter when it is, I want to go right after a moment that is larger than life.

The challenge is to live life as consistently as possible in the pursuit of everything that is meaningful to you. Horrendous tragedies like what many in Japan are experiencing remind us that you never know what will happen when you walk out the door in the morning. But you always have control of how you say goodbye to your loved ones before you leave, what you do during the day, and how you help others along the way!

Regardless of when that is, end on a high note doing what you love, and make sure you always make others aware of their worth. Tell the important people in your life how much you love them. The only comfort they will have when you are gone is to know that you loved them and that you died doing what you love and living a life of love!  Choose to make each day count! 

My day is looking pretty exciting all of a sudden! How about yours?

To your continued success,

James

Do You Need to Stretch?

The Boring Life of an Office Supply 

If you are like me, you may be scared to open the desk drawer that holds all of your office supplies. All of those jumbled up rubber bands, paperclips, staples, thumb tacks, and the pad of sticky notes that has become torn apart and has desk lint stuck to the back. If you were one of these poor mixed up office supplies, what a boring life you would lead. They just sit there all day in a jumbled up mess, ignored and waiting to be used. 

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt all jumbled up and confused? Have you felt bored, ignored by others and waiting for something to happen? Have you felt you were living but not really fulfilling your life’s purpose?

There is a solution. Rubber bands need to be stretched in order to hold things together that would otherwise fall apart. Paperclips need tension put on them to hold important papers together that have innovative thoughts, stories and ideas on them. Staples need to separate from the group and be bent in new ways to link thoughts and ideas together long term. Thumb tacks need to be focused and pushed into a specific area to keep things in the line of sight and visible to others. The sticky notes need to be written on with ideas, moments of brilliance and reminders of what is important in life. 

Office supplies take on an exciting life when they are used for their intended purpose. The only thing keeping office supplies from having a life of meaning and fulfillment is that they are dependent on others to use them. 

Thank goodness that we, as humans, are not dependent on others in order to be stretched and used for a purpose! What a gift it is to be able to choose the purpose of our life and how we stretch, put tension on ourselves, and use the gifts we inherently have! 

It is up to you to choose a meaning and purpose for your life today. Let that purpose guide you to make a difference by uniting people or ideas together for a common cause.  Put some tension on yourself, separate from the pack, bend yourself and stretch in a new way, and write down your important thoughts and ideas for later reference. Take action to get yourself out of the drawer and do what you were meant to do. Be free from living the Boring Life of an Office Supply. 

To your continued Success,

James

919.792.0085 

www.evolutionforsuccess.com 

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Challenge your limiting beliefs

If a tree falls in the woods…

You have heard the question “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?”.  Well, I have another question for you: “If you have a limiting belief but refuse to think about it, do you still have a problem?”. The mind is an interesting muscle.  Once it assigns a meaning to a particular situation or event, it starts building additional thoughts and beliefs to justify that initial meaning.  For better or for worse.

Years ago, I had a limiting belief that I could not run;  it hurt my knees too much. I built a wall of beliefs around that belief to justify my not running.  Then one day I decided to challenge it by running two miles, walking a mile, and running one more.  I chose a new belief: “I can run three miles.”  In that moment, I refused to think my old limiting belief and replaced it with another one.  And, my mind responded like it always does; it started to look for new beliefs and thoughts to strengthen that new belief. I found a way to use my mind in a way that was to my advantage.  The new beliefs, strengthened with consistent running, changed my life.

The results speak for themselves: 15 half marathons, 13 marathons, one 40-mile trail race, 50-mile race and 100K trail race in the next 20 years. I found that, in the end, I changed something even deeper than a belief. I changed my core identity. I changed from being the “fat band kid” to being a “long distance endurance athlete” and “zen-runner.” Changing who you believe you are is the deepest change you can make. 

I encourage you to question your own thoughts when you think something limits you. Just because you think a thought, does not automatically mean that it is true.  Go and find a way to disprove it, even if it is in a small way.  Adopt a new belief and strengthen it with consistent actions.  

Let you mind weave new beliefs and thoughts around it to strengthen it, and over time, you will achieve more that you ever thought possible.  It will give you the strength and courage to truly change your life.  

Running two miles did not lead to “long distance endurance runner” overnight.  Initially, I never dreamed I would go out and complete a 100 kilometer race with total confidence in my ability to go the distance.  But once I challenged my initial limiting belief, it led me down many paths, many races, many spiritual moments, and a more fulfilling life. 

And as for the philosophical question of whether or not a falling tree makes a sound if nobody is there to hear it, the answer is “It doesn’t matter because you will be somewhere else, thinking about something else, and making your life be something better!”

To your continued success,

James

"Two Roads Converged..."

“Two Roads Converged…”

Last week, I had the distinct pleasure of taking Isabelle to school. As we came up to the stoplight leading out of our neighborhood, the line was very long and I guessed that it would take about 3 light changes before we would be able to turn left onto the main street. We were looking at a ten minute wait in line which meant she would be late for school.

Instinct took over and I quickly merged into the right hand lane. I drove past the long line of cars straight up to the light. At this point, the only way for us to go was the “wrong” way. We had to turn right instead of left, which took us farther away from her school. Isabelle immediately realized we were going the wrong direction and asked, “Daddy, why are we were going the “wrong” way?”

I turned right, drove 100 yards and turned around in a different neighborhood entrance. Almost immediately, I was able to make the left hand turn onto the main street going towards Isabelle’s school. As I drove, I explained to Isabelle that I was taking a “secret short cut” to school and even though it seemed like the “wrong” way, sometimes going the opposite way of everyone else was quicker. We would have to experiment and see if it was true. In this case, it was true, much to her delight. She even waved at the line of cars as we passed them, who were still waiting for the light to turn green.

A similar experience occurred at the Atlanta airport last Friday. I was waiting for my return flight and needed to stretch my legs one last time before boarding time. As I walked farther and farther down the terminal wing away from the main hub, I noticed that not only did the people traffic lighten up but the drink prices for Coke and water dropped with every store. It was also amazing that the Coke prices were lower than the water prices. Isn’t it ironic how what is better for you is sometimes more expensive and what seems easier, less expensive and more convenient is sometimes not as good for you?

In today’s world, with the media news, business forecasts, stock market news, and radio ads, you may need to get away from the mainstream, take a walk away from the mainstream to where it is not as crowded. It is good to notice where opportunity lies and more often than not, it will be away from popular idealism. Making a little bit better investment on what you are feeding your mind, body and spirit can make a big difference in your health. It can also provide you the edge that will make a small difference in your life today and a very BIG difference in your life in the long run. Make the investment in yourself that will yield results for you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. If you take the initiative to walk a little farther away from the crowds you may be surprised at the deals you will find.

This morning Isabelle asked me if we were taking the “secret short cut” to school. It took me a moment to understand that she had changed her association from us going to school the “wrong” way to the “secret short cut” way. Separate yourself from the rest of the people who are waiting in line for something different to happen. That is the secret to getting ahead. All of the answers you need to overcome any challenge in your life right now are out there waiting for you. Be courageous, brave and try going the “wrong” way once in a while. We will see you at the “secret short cut” turnaround and we’ll be sure and wave “Hi!”

If you know someone who needs an encouraging “Thought” this week. Please feel free to forward this email. You can sign up for the weekly, “Thought” at www.evolutionforsuccess.com We value your privacy and keep our email database private and confidential. Thank you for reading!

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CHANGE HAPPENS

Change equals FEAR for most people. Take a look at this wonderful link about how fast the world is changing.

In today’s exponentially changing times, if you want to increase your levels of success you should prepare to be a leader in your field by mastering learning and information through Accelerated Learning Techniques, Specialization in your field of study, and create a LOVE OF CHANGE. In NLP, we say that the person with the greatest flexibility controls the system. The level of success that you have in life is directly proportional to the amount of Uncertainty/Change you can handle. Letting go of Certainty will allow you to access greater levels of uncertainty.

How much uncertainty and variety can you handle in your life?
What have you done today to learn and grow in your field?

To our continued success,

James