Do you remember those bullies on the playground who seemed to “always have something to prove to everyone else?” They were the ones who walked around like they owned the place, towered above the rest of the little people, and always seemed so confident of themselves.
This Saturday I completed my first triathlon. It was a small sprint that consisted of a 300 meter swim, 12 mile bike ride, and a 3.1 mile swim. It was something that was quite dressed down from my original goal set 7 years ago which was to complete a Full Ironman Triathlon. Later in the day I found myself starting to talk myself out of my good feelings. After all, it wasn’t my original goal and I knew that I would finish because I had run, biked, and swum all of those distances in my training. But then I thought, “I should be happy and celebrate because after all these years I finally accomplished it rather than telling myself it was to not have completed it yet, “because I knew that I could do it.”
Two days later I lost a competition with one of my clients. We had an eight week goal to lose 8 pounds and run 80 miles. We both exceeded the run, he lost 8 pounds and I only lost 4. When we started the challenge I was confident that I COULD lose the 8 pounds but I did not set out to PROVE to myself that I could. My mindset was not in the right place. There are a lot of things that we CAN do in life and the vast majority of them are never done because we walk around not fully committed to proving to ourselves that we can. It becomes an easy justification in our mind. How often have you heard the saying, “Well, I could if I really wanted to but I don’t really want to right now, but I know I could.” Using “I can” as a justification for why you haven’t accomplished something is a lame excuse. As a coach it is an interesting experience to lose a challenge to your client. There was a part of me that was happy for his success and another personal part that felt very incongruent and out of integrity. There is something to learn from that. I did not commit to prove to myself that I would accomplish what I was knew I could do. In the end, I did not prove it to myself.
Maybe it is not so bad to have something to prove to yourself once in a while. Maybe it is time to get a little cocky, put your money where your mouth is, or walk the walk and talk the talk. Take one of those things that you know you could do and PROVE to yourself that you can accomplish it by actually getting up off of your tailbone and doing it! I DARE YOU to prove to yourself that you CAN lose those 10 pounds that you have wanted to drop, make that career transition, or commit to that relationship and make it work.
The only reason you have not completed what you know you can is because you are too scared of what you will have to accept about who you are, what you are, or what else you are capable of achieving that goal is completed!
I am more determined than ever to win the next challenge that I have set with my client. I now have something to prove to myself. I look in the mirror every morning and set out to prove to myself that I can change my eating and exercise habits and see the results I want. (To my client: I just logged my miles on Nike.com and I am ahead of you now!) Now that I have completed a sprint triathlon I am looking for that next race and who I will become as I prove to myself I can do another in less time. I am even looking to an Olympic length triathlon.
It is time to bully your self into proving something to yourself. I dare you to walk around with your chest out a little more, your head up a little higher and let your confident actions show the world what you have to Prove. The race is never complete until you cross the finish line and get your official time. What do you have to prove to yourself in order to have lived a whole and complete life? Pick one. Sign up for a race and maybe I will see you at the starting line, we may pass each other during the race, or end up celebrating at the finish line! What do you have to prove?
6/5/09
Who's Model Are You Putting Together?
Whose Model are you Putting Together?
I remember putting together a plastic model of “The Fonz,” from Happy Days when I was a boy. I painted his jeans blue, his hair and jacket black, and his face was a deep bronze. (Must have had the wrong paint) I always wondered if my Dad had chosen the model for me or if I had chosen that model for myself.
Over the years and I have put together many other models following in my Dad’s footsteps. I put together cars, airplanes, and even a balsa wood airplane in college that actually flew. A couple of years ago I almost purchased a huge sailing ship to put together for my father. He had always wanted to construct such a masterpiece but never had. I was considering building it as a “labor of love” for him.
I recently brought home an old A-6 “Intruder” model airplane for my son, Nicolas, and wondered if he would follow in his father’s footsteps and put that model together one day. As I stored it on the shelf in his closet it suddenly hit me how closely I have modeled my father over the years.
When I was in 4th grade my father started his own business and was gone most of the time. He rarely came to my baseball games and I never saw him much through my elementary and high school years. When my son hit 4th grade I also started my own business, moved out of my home office and was “gone.” But, I modeled the opposite of my father by attending all of Nicolas’ sporting events and coached his basketball team.
There are always two ways to model the behaviors of the key people in our lives. We can model “towards” the examples they set for us or we can model “away” from the examples they set for us. I modeled towards my father in being entrepreneurial and away from him in one different aspect of fatherhood.
Which model are you choosing to put together in your life? How are you modeling your mother or father from when you were young? Are you modeling behaviors that empower you or dis-empower you? If you are walking around saying that you don’t have a good role model to create what you want, you are wrong. You have all you need in front of your eyes.
There is a great self study that tracked the lives of a pair of brothers who had an alcoholic father who was in and out of jail. One of the brothers grew to be a successful lawyer and businessman while the other became and alcoholic who was in and out of jail. The question of, “How did you become the man you are today?” was asked to each of them and they both gave the same answer. “How could I not, given who my father was?”
Look at the models in your life that are “not” what you want and be strong enough to do the exact opposite! If you remember things that you like from your childhood, do the same thing now. If you find yourself saying, “How can I have something different than this, after all, look at my parents, friend, etc…I don’t have a good role model.” Be strong enough to step up and do the opposite. If all of your buddy’s drink, stop drinking, if no one goes to the gym, get to the gym, if they argue and pick fights with their spouses, focus on giving to your spouse first. The rest will come in time and you will have developed your own model of success for yourself and who knows, maybe others will look at you model your success!
I love who I am now as a coach and father to my son, and it is because of the model my father gave me; EVEN THOUGH IT WAS “away” from what I wanted. By accepting the models that we have been given and choosing the life we want to put together for ourselves, there is acceptance and forgiveness towards the people who have given us the “away from” models. They are not the problem they are the solution. You just have to do the opposite! If you like who you are today it is because of who you modeled in the past; good or bad.
The A-6 airplane model is patiently sitting in the closet waiting for my son to choose to put together or not. Maybe he will or maybe he won’t. It is his choice what model to put together in his life. In the end, I hope to have built a model life that he can look up to and will be a great example for him.
Put your model life together even if the directions appear to be missing, you have seen it put together wrong in the past or you have a perfect example of how you would like it to be. You have all that you need right now to create what you most want in life. As you start to put the pieces of your model together; make no excuses and make it a masterpiece.
I remember putting together a plastic model of “The Fonz,” from Happy Days when I was a boy. I painted his jeans blue, his hair and jacket black, and his face was a deep bronze. (Must have had the wrong paint) I always wondered if my Dad had chosen the model for me or if I had chosen that model for myself.
Over the years and I have put together many other models following in my Dad’s footsteps. I put together cars, airplanes, and even a balsa wood airplane in college that actually flew. A couple of years ago I almost purchased a huge sailing ship to put together for my father. He had always wanted to construct such a masterpiece but never had. I was considering building it as a “labor of love” for him.
I recently brought home an old A-6 “Intruder” model airplane for my son, Nicolas, and wondered if he would follow in his father’s footsteps and put that model together one day. As I stored it on the shelf in his closet it suddenly hit me how closely I have modeled my father over the years.
When I was in 4th grade my father started his own business and was gone most of the time. He rarely came to my baseball games and I never saw him much through my elementary and high school years. When my son hit 4th grade I also started my own business, moved out of my home office and was “gone.” But, I modeled the opposite of my father by attending all of Nicolas’ sporting events and coached his basketball team.
There are always two ways to model the behaviors of the key people in our lives. We can model “towards” the examples they set for us or we can model “away” from the examples they set for us. I modeled towards my father in being entrepreneurial and away from him in one different aspect of fatherhood.
Which model are you choosing to put together in your life? How are you modeling your mother or father from when you were young? Are you modeling behaviors that empower you or dis-empower you? If you are walking around saying that you don’t have a good role model to create what you want, you are wrong. You have all you need in front of your eyes.
There is a great self study that tracked the lives of a pair of brothers who had an alcoholic father who was in and out of jail. One of the brothers grew to be a successful lawyer and businessman while the other became and alcoholic who was in and out of jail. The question of, “How did you become the man you are today?” was asked to each of them and they both gave the same answer. “How could I not, given who my father was?”
Look at the models in your life that are “not” what you want and be strong enough to do the exact opposite! If you remember things that you like from your childhood, do the same thing now. If you find yourself saying, “How can I have something different than this, after all, look at my parents, friend, etc…I don’t have a good role model.” Be strong enough to step up and do the opposite. If all of your buddy’s drink, stop drinking, if no one goes to the gym, get to the gym, if they argue and pick fights with their spouses, focus on giving to your spouse first. The rest will come in time and you will have developed your own model of success for yourself and who knows, maybe others will look at you model your success!
I love who I am now as a coach and father to my son, and it is because of the model my father gave me; EVEN THOUGH IT WAS “away” from what I wanted. By accepting the models that we have been given and choosing the life we want to put together for ourselves, there is acceptance and forgiveness towards the people who have given us the “away from” models. They are not the problem they are the solution. You just have to do the opposite! If you like who you are today it is because of who you modeled in the past; good or bad.
The A-6 airplane model is patiently sitting in the closet waiting for my son to choose to put together or not. Maybe he will or maybe he won’t. It is his choice what model to put together in his life. In the end, I hope to have built a model life that he can look up to and will be a great example for him.
Put your model life together even if the directions appear to be missing, you have seen it put together wrong in the past or you have a perfect example of how you would like it to be. You have all that you need right now to create what you most want in life. As you start to put the pieces of your model together; make no excuses and make it a masterpiece.
The Land of Milk & Honey
I think at some point everyone has dreamed of winning the lottery so they never have to worry about anything again, finding that lost treasure chest filled with pirate gold or living in the proverbial land of “milk and honey.” I often wondered if there was such a place.
During college after many transitions and changes in my personal and educational endeavors, I graduated in May of 1991 with a Bachelor’s of Science from Iowa State University. My degree was in Economics and I really don’t remember anything about it except for the magnificent principle of supply and demand. The law states the when supply is low, and the commodity is in need, demand goes up and you can charge a higher price. When more of that commodity is produced and the demand for it drops, the price can not sustain itself and subsequently drops. This process of balancing between supply and demand is like a rocking chair going forwards and backwards over and over.
The same principles can be found in our emotional states. Are you living in abundance and prosperity or scarcity and fear? I was in a coaching session one day and a client asked me, “How do you move out of fear and into a place of prosperity?” What popped out of my mouth was profound, “Gratitude takes away all fear.” It is similar to one of the concepts in Victor Frankl’s book, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” Being grateful for the experiences and live you have is a key to letting go of fear.
Fear is an emotional indicator that something is coming up in the future that you are not prepared for. As a consequence, a scarcity mentality kicks in where a person thinks about all they do not have instead of what they do have. Those thoughts are the opposite of Gratitude and abundance. Scarcity breeds fear of loss, fear of not enough, and does not promote sharing, giving, or compassion for others.
Most people today seem to be wrestling with life and their mindset because there is a huge supply of fear. After all, that is what sells newspapers, grips people into watching the news every night, and leads our thoughts to an overabundance of fear. We are forgetting to cultivate a garden of gratitude. When fear, lack and scarcity are in greater abundance than gratitude, at the end of the day the gratitude is gone and there is nothing left but fear and uncertainty. Faith and Hope for a brighter future die a terrible death.
However, the “Land of Milk & Honey” can and does exist today. A person needs to be strong and build their muscles of thankfulness, gratitude and sound decisions. Josh Groban said it wonderfully in one of his songs, “All you need to love is in front of your eyes.” Not, all you need to love you don’t have yet, used to have, or somebody else has and you don’t!!
When we have a supply of gratitude that exceeds the demands being placed on it by the impacts of society, our peers, and our own personal thoughts; then optimism about the future kicks in and things are pretty good. We may not have all that we desire in life, the problems and bills to pay are still there, but inside our head at the end of the day there is a positive supply of healthy grateful thoughts left over.
Even in our recession, we still are the greatest land of opportunity because we have free trade. You can go out and live your dream today, build your own business, go back to college for that extra educational experience, still have another child, go to grocery stores that are never out of food, and stand in a checkout line with 3 people in front of you instead of waiting for hours for a loaf of bread or bowl of rice.
The key to the pirate’s treasure chest is in your mind. If you have an abundance of gratitude and thankfulness for all that you do have today you can live a life free of fear, scarcity and lack. You can count the golden things you already have in life and remember you have already won the lottery. The “Land of Milk and Honey” does exist; it is in your MIND! Remember, gratitude takes away all fear! Today I am thankful for…
JUNE SPECIALS:
CD Special:
What have you been feeding your mind lately? Order the “Powerful Positive Parenting” 2-CD set & the “Panning for Emotional Gold” CD as a package for the special price of $29.99 + S&H charge of $3.95. All orders will be shipped on Friday, June 12th. See payment instructions below. Order your copies today!
COACHING Special: Fast Track for Success in June
Are you looking to jump start your weight loss for spring, take control of your finances, build a better relationship or take the next step in your career? The Fast Track for Success program allows you to focus on making those consistent changes daily for you to get what you want by making "small deposits every day." Most of us overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in ten.
For only $199 you get a specialized, 6-Step program personalized to achieve your goal.
Step 1: Complete the Pre-Call Worksheet for a single goal
Step 2: 30-minute Coaching session to set up new strategies for success
Step 3: You send me a daily email or voicemail with the top 3-5 specific things you are committed to do that day to reach your monthly goal. I will personally respond to every email or voicemail with helpful tips hints, and strategies to overcome your challenges you have along the way
Step 4: After the completion of week 2, a 15-minute check-in call to measure and monitor your success.
Step 5: Repeat Step 3
Step 6: 15-Minute Celebration Call to re-enforce the changes you have made and revise strategies for continued success.
I invite you to experience more success in a single month than you have had in the first two quarters of this year. Success can be yours for only $5 per day, M-F. The only reason you won't call to achieve the life of your dreams is because of time and money. How many calls and emails do you make in a day? Make one that will change your life--and for only $5 per day! Where else are you guaranteed to experience results, see changes, and create what you most want in your life for such a small investment? Put your investment to good use--on yourself!
SURE HIRE ASSESSMENT Special:
I now am offering a condensed Sure Hire Assessment Package that consists of a complete DiSC Model Assessment and the NLP Metaprograms report. It also included the original 60-minute personalized consultation to go over the results. It is now priced at an introductory price of $199 per assessment.
By the way, if you know anyone who needs support hiring the right person for the job. Have them check out the Sure Hire Behavioral Assessment at www.surehirenow.com
They can enjoy $50 off the regular price of $399.
For every referral you will receive a $25 Gift Card to any store of your choice as our way of saying “Thank You.”
TELECONFERENCE Special:
Join us on Wednesday, June 24th for the exciting “MOTIVATIONAL FOOTBALL” Teleconference. Whether you are sports enthusiast or not, learn to get overcome procrastination, get more motivated and motivate others to achieve more. Motivation is one of the keys for successful leadership today in business, home and in personal accomplishment. There is a way to always be motivated and now you can learn how. Early registration is only $39 between now and Monday, June 22nd. See payment instructions below.
Please pass on this “Thought of the Week” to anyone who needs an encouraging “Thought.”. They can sign up for the “Thought of the Week” by sending me an email at james@evolutionforsuccess.com and place “subscribe” in the subject line. I never share my email list with anyone. Your privacy is of utmost importance to me.
If you wish to unsubscribe, please reply with “Unsubscribe” in the subject line.
To pay or register for any Evolution for Success Service:
To Register:
1. Log onto www.PayPal.com
2. Click on the “Business” Tab at the Upper Right Hand corner of the webpage
3. Click on “Send Money” Tab located directly underneath, click on “Send Money Online” directly underneath
4. On right hand margin enter either email address in the “to” box: evolutioncoach@yahoo.com or james@evolutionforsuccess.com
5. Enter your email address in the “From” Box
6. If registering prior to April 15th, enter $39.00, after April 15th, enter $49.00, and Click “Continue”
7. Enter your Paypal Login information (if you have never used PayPal before, then you will have to sign up for a free account, during that process you will have to enter your Credit Card information which will be used for the transaction, if you have an existing PayPal account it will give you payment options)
8. Congratulations, you have successfully registered for the Teleconference.
~OR~
You may send a check, cash or money order to:
Evolution for Success, LLC
10840 Bedfordtown Drive
Raleigh, NC 27614
During college after many transitions and changes in my personal and educational endeavors, I graduated in May of 1991 with a Bachelor’s of Science from Iowa State University. My degree was in Economics and I really don’t remember anything about it except for the magnificent principle of supply and demand. The law states the when supply is low, and the commodity is in need, demand goes up and you can charge a higher price. When more of that commodity is produced and the demand for it drops, the price can not sustain itself and subsequently drops. This process of balancing between supply and demand is like a rocking chair going forwards and backwards over and over.
The same principles can be found in our emotional states. Are you living in abundance and prosperity or scarcity and fear? I was in a coaching session one day and a client asked me, “How do you move out of fear and into a place of prosperity?” What popped out of my mouth was profound, “Gratitude takes away all fear.” It is similar to one of the concepts in Victor Frankl’s book, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” Being grateful for the experiences and live you have is a key to letting go of fear.
Fear is an emotional indicator that something is coming up in the future that you are not prepared for. As a consequence, a scarcity mentality kicks in where a person thinks about all they do not have instead of what they do have. Those thoughts are the opposite of Gratitude and abundance. Scarcity breeds fear of loss, fear of not enough, and does not promote sharing, giving, or compassion for others.
Most people today seem to be wrestling with life and their mindset because there is a huge supply of fear. After all, that is what sells newspapers, grips people into watching the news every night, and leads our thoughts to an overabundance of fear. We are forgetting to cultivate a garden of gratitude. When fear, lack and scarcity are in greater abundance than gratitude, at the end of the day the gratitude is gone and there is nothing left but fear and uncertainty. Faith and Hope for a brighter future die a terrible death.
However, the “Land of Milk & Honey” can and does exist today. A person needs to be strong and build their muscles of thankfulness, gratitude and sound decisions. Josh Groban said it wonderfully in one of his songs, “All you need to love is in front of your eyes.” Not, all you need to love you don’t have yet, used to have, or somebody else has and you don’t!!
When we have a supply of gratitude that exceeds the demands being placed on it by the impacts of society, our peers, and our own personal thoughts; then optimism about the future kicks in and things are pretty good. We may not have all that we desire in life, the problems and bills to pay are still there, but inside our head at the end of the day there is a positive supply of healthy grateful thoughts left over.
Even in our recession, we still are the greatest land of opportunity because we have free trade. You can go out and live your dream today, build your own business, go back to college for that extra educational experience, still have another child, go to grocery stores that are never out of food, and stand in a checkout line with 3 people in front of you instead of waiting for hours for a loaf of bread or bowl of rice.
The key to the pirate’s treasure chest is in your mind. If you have an abundance of gratitude and thankfulness for all that you do have today you can live a life free of fear, scarcity and lack. You can count the golden things you already have in life and remember you have already won the lottery. The “Land of Milk and Honey” does exist; it is in your MIND! Remember, gratitude takes away all fear! Today I am thankful for…
JUNE SPECIALS:
CD Special:
What have you been feeding your mind lately? Order the “Powerful Positive Parenting” 2-CD set & the “Panning for Emotional Gold” CD as a package for the special price of $29.99 + S&H charge of $3.95. All orders will be shipped on Friday, June 12th. See payment instructions below. Order your copies today!
COACHING Special: Fast Track for Success in June
Are you looking to jump start your weight loss for spring, take control of your finances, build a better relationship or take the next step in your career? The Fast Track for Success program allows you to focus on making those consistent changes daily for you to get what you want by making "small deposits every day." Most of us overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in ten.
For only $199 you get a specialized, 6-Step program personalized to achieve your goal.
Step 1: Complete the Pre-Call Worksheet for a single goal
Step 2: 30-minute Coaching session to set up new strategies for success
Step 3: You send me a daily email or voicemail with the top 3-5 specific things you are committed to do that day to reach your monthly goal. I will personally respond to every email or voicemail with helpful tips hints, and strategies to overcome your challenges you have along the way
Step 4: After the completion of week 2, a 15-minute check-in call to measure and monitor your success.
Step 5: Repeat Step 3
Step 6: 15-Minute Celebration Call to re-enforce the changes you have made and revise strategies for continued success.
I invite you to experience more success in a single month than you have had in the first two quarters of this year. Success can be yours for only $5 per day, M-F. The only reason you won't call to achieve the life of your dreams is because of time and money. How many calls and emails do you make in a day? Make one that will change your life--and for only $5 per day! Where else are you guaranteed to experience results, see changes, and create what you most want in your life for such a small investment? Put your investment to good use--on yourself!
SURE HIRE ASSESSMENT Special:
I now am offering a condensed Sure Hire Assessment Package that consists of a complete DiSC Model Assessment and the NLP Metaprograms report. It also included the original 60-minute personalized consultation to go over the results. It is now priced at an introductory price of $199 per assessment.
By the way, if you know anyone who needs support hiring the right person for the job. Have them check out the Sure Hire Behavioral Assessment at www.surehirenow.com
They can enjoy $50 off the regular price of $399.
For every referral you will receive a $25 Gift Card to any store of your choice as our way of saying “Thank You.”
TELECONFERENCE Special:
Join us on Wednesday, June 24th for the exciting “MOTIVATIONAL FOOTBALL” Teleconference. Whether you are sports enthusiast or not, learn to get overcome procrastination, get more motivated and motivate others to achieve more. Motivation is one of the keys for successful leadership today in business, home and in personal accomplishment. There is a way to always be motivated and now you can learn how. Early registration is only $39 between now and Monday, June 22nd. See payment instructions below.
Please pass on this “Thought of the Week” to anyone who needs an encouraging “Thought.”. They can sign up for the “Thought of the Week” by sending me an email at james@evolutionforsuccess.com and place “subscribe” in the subject line. I never share my email list with anyone. Your privacy is of utmost importance to me.
If you wish to unsubscribe, please reply with “Unsubscribe” in the subject line.
To pay or register for any Evolution for Success Service:
To Register:
1. Log onto www.PayPal.com
2. Click on the “Business” Tab at the Upper Right Hand corner of the webpage
3. Click on “Send Money” Tab located directly underneath, click on “Send Money Online” directly underneath
4. On right hand margin enter either email address in the “to” box: evolutioncoach@yahoo.com or james@evolutionforsuccess.com
5. Enter your email address in the “From” Box
6. If registering prior to April 15th, enter $39.00, after April 15th, enter $49.00, and Click “Continue”
7. Enter your Paypal Login information (if you have never used PayPal before, then you will have to sign up for a free account, during that process you will have to enter your Credit Card information which will be used for the transaction, if you have an existing PayPal account it will give you payment options)
8. Congratulations, you have successfully registered for the Teleconference.
~OR~
You may send a check, cash or money order to:
Evolution for Success, LLC
10840 Bedfordtown Drive
Raleigh, NC 27614
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)