The Top Ten Disempowering Emotions: What are they trying to tell us?

by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis

When people talk about changing their life they are really talking about changing the quality and intensity of the emotional states that they consistently experience. There are certain emotional states that we are driven towards and certain emotional states that we are driven away from.

Emotions give us insight into where we are incongruent in our values, beliefs, and unresolved significant emotional events. The outcome of any coaching or intervention process is to ease emotional conflict within a person and increase wholeness by attaching new meanings to their experiences. That increases choice and wholeness within a person.

The Top Ten Disempowering Emotions that people experience and the message they are working to communicate to you are:
1. Uncomfortable:
Message: When you feel bothered, impatient, bored, or irritated this emotion is telling you that you can be more than who you currently are.
Solution: Need to change your emotional state, get clear on what you want, and take an immediate action to achieve/experience something new.
2. Fear
Message: When you feel concern, apprehension, worry or terror this emotion is telling you that something is coming up in the future that you are not prepared for. This emotion gives you massive energy to prepare for the unforeseen.
Solution: Identify what is coming up in the future that you are not prepared for, find a new solution and take action to confront and walk through the fear.
3. Hurt
Message: When you feel a sense of loss or if means that an expectation has not been met. This is an important indicator that shows the depth of your caring about yourself of another individual/situation.
Solution: Identify if the expectation is still valid. Is it your responsibility or theirs for the emotion of the moment? Is the expectation still valid and useful? Identify what is within your direct control and influence to support the other person or yourself through the moment, adjust expectations for the future.
4. Anger
Message: When you feel irritated, angry, resentful, furious, livid, enraged, (usually from hurt) it is a fire and depth of emotional energy to make things right. It means that a standard that you have is not being met by yourself or others.
Solution: Use this deep intense energy to adjust your standards for yourself or others and take an immediate action to move towards resolution to the challenge or issue.
5. Frustration
Message: You keep trying the same thing to achieve your dreams/goals and it is not working.
Solution: Stay focused on your outcomes and change your approach. Try doing the exact opposite of what you are currently trying to get a different result.
6. Disappointment
Message: It shows the depth of your caring you have towards the person/situation and the high standards that you have set.
Solution: Change your expectation, adjust the time frames on the goals or things that you want to have/experience and remember that God’s delays are not God’s denials. That old saying, “there are no unreasonable goals, only unreasonable time frames attached to them sometimes,” could be applicable.
7. Guilt/Regret
Message: You violated a standard or belief that your hold true for yourself and you are not following through on what you know is best for you
Solution: Clean up your act! Step forward and do what you know is right and true for you independent of what others may think is “best for you” or “what you can or can not do”
8. Inadequacy
Message: You feel less that worthy, your own value and worth is low
Solution: Use this emotion to set outcomes for you to learn, grow, and contribute to others
9. Overwhelm/Overloaded
Message: You are feeling hopeless, helpless, depressed because events are controlling you instead of you controlling events
Solution: Reevaluate what is truly important to you in life, distinguish between Must’s, Should’s and Want’s, then take action
10. LonelinessMessage: Feeling alone and separate from others and you need a new form of connection
Solution: Find inside yourself a way to reconnect or look outside of yourself to your friends, family, peers, and groups to help those more in need

These Top Ten Disempowering Emotions are calls to action and unlocking more in life. With the understanding of the Message that they are trying to tell us and the Solution on how to work through them, life becomes easier and easier. You will always continue to experience these Top Ten Emotions in your life. A new paradigm of measuring success comes from decreasing the amount of time that it takes to understand the Message where we are not congruent, find a new solution, and take action to move through them every time you feel them.

When you work through your emotional states you begin to control your life instead of your life controlling you. That is personal power! They will lead you to the Top Ten Empowering Emotions! We will address those next time!

To our continued success,

James