Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving is still a few days away but we already have our Christmas tree up. In fact, we decorated it two weekends ago. It’s up for two reasons; during the move we donated our old tree to save it the rigors of another move (at 15 years old it would have fallen apart anyway) and I had to unpack our new 9’ tree to get it in my car, so instead of repacking it, I set it up in our living room.
Having the Christmas tree up so early this year got me thinking about how Thanksgiving often gets overlooked in the pre-Christmas hustle and bustle. This is especially true this year, when the market is down and Wall Street is predicting a dismal economic holiday season. I read today that many companies are now having “pre-black Friday sales” to try and kick-start that holiday spending.
So what is Thanksgiving about? Many of us will sit around and follow the age old routine: travel to see family, those special women in our life cook all day, we sit and say grace, enjoy each others company, eat, eat, and eat some more, then the men retire to watch football while the women chat and clean up after a long day in the kitchen.
I want to focus on just one of the many aspects that are included in that stereotypical holiday scenario - saying “grace”. Whether you are thankful to your God or just expressing gratitude for the positive things that happened this year, I challenge you, don’t just give it lip service. Let me work to clarify my distinction – Have you ever found yourself saying grace for the things that you already have? Are they things that don’t really matter to you emotionally? Are you saying Grace for things you take for granted everyday, anyway?
The pilgrims gave thanks for the food they had because their lives’ very existence depended on the bounty of their crops. Food back then was not easy to obtain. Men had to go into the wild and hunt deer and turkey with bows and arrows or with a musket that had very little accuracy. Men walked for hours on end behind mules just to till the land, each seed was personally sewn and tended for months against the bad weather and pests. Wood was chopped and dried from the earliest days of spring until the first snows fell in order to have heat for the winter months. That is why Thanksgiving meant something to our ancestors – they were grateful for the things in life that ensured their very survival.
In today’s society there are not too many things that threaten our physical existence (barring diseases, many are brought on due to our sedentary lifestyles and things being so physically easy). However, there are many things in life that threaten our mental, emotional, and spiritual existence.
If you find yourself at the dinner table just saying, “Thank you for the food that we have.” How meaningful is that? A can of green beans costs $.89 and all you had to do was drive 5 minutes in your heated car to the store to get it. Compare that to the months of backbreaking work the pilgrims endured in order to get the equivalent, the effort expended isn’t anywhere near comparable.
While thinking about your grace this year, pick the most challenging area of your life to focus on. Pick one that your survival and existence depends upon: your job, your health, your career, your financial situation. Pick an area where if you do not keep tending to it over the next months by putting your heart, soul, and energy into it, you would perish because you would not have achieved what it takes to stay alive and have a meaningful life.
Let me give you an example. One of the things that I am going to be most thankful for this Thanksgiving, and it moves me emotionally just thinking about it, are my clients and the people I send these emails out to. Deep in my heart and soul I have been needing to write a book for the last 5 years. I have fought and struggled, written many, many outlines, jotted down topics and thoughts, but no book ever produced itself. If I do not write a book before I die, it will be one of my greatest regrets. This idea of a book is at the core of who I am and what would make my life meaningful. That dream and goal has been on my mind for a long, long time. In a sense, a part of me would be dead if I never wrote it.
I worked on a monthly email for about a year and a half and then quit because it was not working. About a year later, one day I opened MS Word and just started writing a “Thought”, which later became my “Thought of the Week”. I was uncertain if people would take the time to read them, think my insights were of value, or if they would help someone through a rough time. Over the last couple of months, I have received so much positive feedback - new people every week - commenting that one of my “Thoughts” had touched them. More than a dozen and a half people on my email distribution list stated that I should turn these into a book. With all of the half completed thoughts and outlines, perfectionist planning, and half hearted attempts at starting a book, I NEVER DREAMED these thoughts would have the potential to be used for that purpose. It was my clients and friends who showed me the path to making this dream become a reality. I am choked up just typing this. That is how meaningful you are to me. I could not see what was right in front of me, but you saw it for me. All of you reading this, right now, have helped me believe that I can achieve this dream of mine. As I look back on my blog, I already have over 40 “Thoughts of the Week.” It has also helped bring clarity to a second one that I want to put together.
Where is an area of your life where you are fighting to survive? Where does your life depend on you completing that special something? Where are you finding yourself desperately struggling to succeed? Pick something that is meaningful for you this Thanksgiving. Something you are so thankful for that when sharing it with your family and loved ones you get choked up and the tears form in your eyes. Reach down into the depths of your heart and soul, grab onto that dream you’re not sure you can achieve, and find a way to be thankful for the persons, the challenges, and the experiences that are going to help you to realize that dream. I will enjoy, and be very choked up, expressing my thankfulness for you while saying grace this Thanksgiving Day. You are counted among my deepest blessings. I thank God for you and your continued support, and I’ll be seeing you at the dinner table.
To your continued success,
James
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Check out previous “Thoughts of the Week” on my blog at www.evolutionforsuccess.com
For all of your hiring needs please check out my Sure Hire Behavioral Assessment link at www.surehirenow.com
James M Murphy
Evolution for Success, LLC
(919) 792-0085
11/18/08
Watering the Lawn
Watering the Lawn
As many of you know, we recently relocated to North Carolina and purchased a new home. This past week, the landscape company came and laid sod in the front, back and side yards. Last night, I was watering the sod with the garden hose on the side of the house. It is very sloped so I was watering uphill as I slowly moved backwards down the hill.
It was interesting to watch the water as I doused the strips of sod – when I watered the middle of each piece, the water actually ran out of the middle, down the sides or in between the strips, onto the hard packed clay around the sides, then proceeded to run quickly downhill. It reminded me of skiing in the Rocky Mountains; if you roll a snowball down a ski slope it will always follow the path of least resistance, just like the water was.
Oddly enough, our brain does the same thing. Our brain does not like conflict and will always take the easy way out of tension and conflict. However, motivation comes from the tension and conflict that come from the gap between where we are now and where we want to be. What an interesting irony of life.
You have probably heard me say it before, but I think it bears repeating - when we set our goals in place we naturally set all of our obstacles in place also. The obstacles create patterns that engender tension and conflict in the following ways; mentally (our beliefs), emotionally (our feelings), physically (how we care for our body), and spiritually (our religious beliefs; engaging hope, faith, optimism, belief in the future). So, the brain will always take the path of least resistance to get us back to our comfort zone.
The irony about watering sod is that the grass does not need as much water in the middle as it does along the edges. The best way to water the sod is at the seams, the lines between the rolls of grass. It is at the boundaries that sod needs the most water, not deep in the middle. What a great lesson to take to heart in creating change in life. Sometimes, a person does not have to go deep down into the center of their psyche to clear up deep emotional things from the past. You don’t need to always take massive, life altering steps in order to enhance your life. Often, if you simply “water” around the edges more consistently, you’ll begin to see growth.
We generally speak with the same words, think the same thoughts, feel the same feelings, eat and drink the same foods, and engage our faith and spirituality in the same way everyday. By taking the small, peripheral steps of using better words, thinking better thoughts, feeling different feelings, making a healthier eating choice, or engaging a little more hope and faith in life, the results may seem small at first, but over time there will be exponentially large results.
These changes will alter your state and help you:
• Go from “I’m OK” to “Getting better by the moment,” to “OUTSTANDING!”
• Go from “I can’t do this!” to “I can do this if I just slow down, focus and take it a piece at a time.”
• Go from “I feel tired and crabby and need my coffee” to “I feel better and better as the day goes by as long as I keep my chin up and am productive.
• Go from “I love that Big Mac Supersize Value Meal” to “I choose to take the healthiest eating choice for me for this meal.”
• Go from “This will never happen, I don’t know what to do” to “I don’t need to know exactly how to achieve my goal, but as long as I engage in the most meaningful task I can think of right now, I’m going to have hope and faith that somehow I will achieve what I desire.”
If you do those things, your mind and your grass will stay green for a long time! So, water around the edges today!
If you need help watering the lawn inside your head, give me a call to set up your coaching session for Success. (919) 792-0085. CALL NOW!
As many of you know, we recently relocated to North Carolina and purchased a new home. This past week, the landscape company came and laid sod in the front, back and side yards. Last night, I was watering the sod with the garden hose on the side of the house. It is very sloped so I was watering uphill as I slowly moved backwards down the hill.
It was interesting to watch the water as I doused the strips of sod – when I watered the middle of each piece, the water actually ran out of the middle, down the sides or in between the strips, onto the hard packed clay around the sides, then proceeded to run quickly downhill. It reminded me of skiing in the Rocky Mountains; if you roll a snowball down a ski slope it will always follow the path of least resistance, just like the water was.
Oddly enough, our brain does the same thing. Our brain does not like conflict and will always take the easy way out of tension and conflict. However, motivation comes from the tension and conflict that come from the gap between where we are now and where we want to be. What an interesting irony of life.
You have probably heard me say it before, but I think it bears repeating - when we set our goals in place we naturally set all of our obstacles in place also. The obstacles create patterns that engender tension and conflict in the following ways; mentally (our beliefs), emotionally (our feelings), physically (how we care for our body), and spiritually (our religious beliefs; engaging hope, faith, optimism, belief in the future). So, the brain will always take the path of least resistance to get us back to our comfort zone.
The irony about watering sod is that the grass does not need as much water in the middle as it does along the edges. The best way to water the sod is at the seams, the lines between the rolls of grass. It is at the boundaries that sod needs the most water, not deep in the middle. What a great lesson to take to heart in creating change in life. Sometimes, a person does not have to go deep down into the center of their psyche to clear up deep emotional things from the past. You don’t need to always take massive, life altering steps in order to enhance your life. Often, if you simply “water” around the edges more consistently, you’ll begin to see growth.
We generally speak with the same words, think the same thoughts, feel the same feelings, eat and drink the same foods, and engage our faith and spirituality in the same way everyday. By taking the small, peripheral steps of using better words, thinking better thoughts, feeling different feelings, making a healthier eating choice, or engaging a little more hope and faith in life, the results may seem small at first, but over time there will be exponentially large results.
These changes will alter your state and help you:
• Go from “I’m OK” to “Getting better by the moment,” to “OUTSTANDING!”
• Go from “I can’t do this!” to “I can do this if I just slow down, focus and take it a piece at a time.”
• Go from “I feel tired and crabby and need my coffee” to “I feel better and better as the day goes by as long as I keep my chin up and am productive.
• Go from “I love that Big Mac Supersize Value Meal” to “I choose to take the healthiest eating choice for me for this meal.”
• Go from “This will never happen, I don’t know what to do” to “I don’t need to know exactly how to achieve my goal, but as long as I engage in the most meaningful task I can think of right now, I’m going to have hope and faith that somehow I will achieve what I desire.”
If you do those things, your mind and your grass will stay green for a long time! So, water around the edges today!
If you need help watering the lawn inside your head, give me a call to set up your coaching session for Success. (919) 792-0085. CALL NOW!
11/10/08
The Biggest Fan
The Biggest Fan
A few weeks ago, I found myself back at Iowa State University with my son and brother in law attending my first Cyclone football game since I had graduated in 1991. It was great to be back in my old stomping grounds and sharing the experience with my son. Standing amidst all of the alumni, hearing their comments and donation amounts; I was also aware of the intense pressure on the young men on the field to perform.
Nicolas is 13 and well aware of my criteria for what I consider a great sporting event: a high energy game that is close in score and my favorite team is always the underdog. This game matched those criteria perfectly.
When fourth quarter arrived and it had truly been a great game. It was high scoring, action packed, and we were rooting for the underdog, The Cyclones. We were two touchdowns behind with only seven or eight minutes left and played an onside kick. Everyone cheered like it was Iowa State’s possession but after the play review, it was Texas A&M’s ball. The crowd started to go crazy cheering whole heartedly against the referees. The stadium erupted with jeers and “BOO’ing!” Funny thing was, none of us actually saw the play. It was on the other side of the field, we did not have a good view, and at the games now they do not show most instant replays. (I guess that was a smart idea for moments just like this)!
What I found interesting was that my son got mixed up in the emotions and started, “Booing” also. I whispered in his ear that I loved his enthusiasm AND we did not see the play, there was no instant replay, and we should show some good sportsmanship. What happened next could not have made me more proud as a father.
Nicolas immediately stood up on the bench in front of us started cheering for the home team. While everyone else was “Booing” the referees, he was screaming at the top of his lungs, “Go Cyclones!” He stayed focused on giving support where support was needed, NOT in finding blame or fault to ease frustrations on us being behind in the game. For the rest of the game he never sat down. He stood on the bench, kept waving his towel, and cheering, “Go Cyclones!” As the minutes ticked down and the alumni, students, and spectators left their team still playing on the field, he stayed and cheered on his team. That is a true fan.
In that moment, I put myself on the field with those players. They had probably played ball since they were 4 or 5 years old, dedicated their life to football, conditioned their mind, body and emotional spirit to play collegiate sports, were out there giving it all they had, the blood, sweat and tears, and the people they represented, the people they counted on for support when the times are tough, were leaving them when they needed them most. None of those players on the field ever quit, even when most of the fans did. My son never quit cheering even when he would cheer, “Go Cyclones,” the alumni behind us would say, “Suck” after him. We stayed with the players on the field and cheered until the game was over.
Afterwards, Nicolas got some interesting compliments. Some people stated: “He must be a new fan because he hasn’t figured out that we lose every game, He sure has a lot of energy, He will learn eventually.” But in the next game, when the going gets tough, by Nicolas stepping up as he did and impacting the people around us, I think they are going to miss him a lot! I left the game a very proud father.
What a great psychology lesson in all of this. How often do we give up on something we want to achieve before the game is really over? How many times do we fail to support others in the pursuit of their goals when they need us the most? How often do we give up supporting others because we are looking for their success to make us happy and when we assume they won’t or they don’t achieve their goals we turn our backs on them? How often do we base our happiness on others success instead of our own? How often do we commit ourselves 100% in the pursuit of a goal until the very end? How often do we give up on others and ourselves before the clock runs out?
This experience brings to mind a great quote:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Whether you are in the game as a player or as a Fan remember you are always playing in some sort of game. Most people only saw the game on the field. I saw the game in the stands as a fan also. In the game of your life the clock is still ticking so keep on playing until the very last second. Never give up. Be sure to be a great fan of others also. Cheer for them and support them in the pursuit of their goals no matter if they win or if they fail. Don’t base your happiness on others successes, if you are, that means that you are just a spectator and need to get back engaged in your own game. Remember to walk a mile in other peoples’ shoes before you turn and walk away. Never stop believing in the greatness each of possesses individually or as a team.
Always believe, Always Hope, Always Dream! Never Give Up, and Never Walk Away! Stay Engaged in the Game of Life.
If you need to get engaged in the game of life and you are blaming the economy, the people on your team, and giving up, Step up now and CALL NOW to get back in the game. (919) 792-0085!
A few weeks ago, I found myself back at Iowa State University with my son and brother in law attending my first Cyclone football game since I had graduated in 1991. It was great to be back in my old stomping grounds and sharing the experience with my son. Standing amidst all of the alumni, hearing their comments and donation amounts; I was also aware of the intense pressure on the young men on the field to perform.
Nicolas is 13 and well aware of my criteria for what I consider a great sporting event: a high energy game that is close in score and my favorite team is always the underdog. This game matched those criteria perfectly.
When fourth quarter arrived and it had truly been a great game. It was high scoring, action packed, and we were rooting for the underdog, The Cyclones. We were two touchdowns behind with only seven or eight minutes left and played an onside kick. Everyone cheered like it was Iowa State’s possession but after the play review, it was Texas A&M’s ball. The crowd started to go crazy cheering whole heartedly against the referees. The stadium erupted with jeers and “BOO’ing!” Funny thing was, none of us actually saw the play. It was on the other side of the field, we did not have a good view, and at the games now they do not show most instant replays. (I guess that was a smart idea for moments just like this)!
What I found interesting was that my son got mixed up in the emotions and started, “Booing” also. I whispered in his ear that I loved his enthusiasm AND we did not see the play, there was no instant replay, and we should show some good sportsmanship. What happened next could not have made me more proud as a father.
Nicolas immediately stood up on the bench in front of us started cheering for the home team. While everyone else was “Booing” the referees, he was screaming at the top of his lungs, “Go Cyclones!” He stayed focused on giving support where support was needed, NOT in finding blame or fault to ease frustrations on us being behind in the game. For the rest of the game he never sat down. He stood on the bench, kept waving his towel, and cheering, “Go Cyclones!” As the minutes ticked down and the alumni, students, and spectators left their team still playing on the field, he stayed and cheered on his team. That is a true fan.
In that moment, I put myself on the field with those players. They had probably played ball since they were 4 or 5 years old, dedicated their life to football, conditioned their mind, body and emotional spirit to play collegiate sports, were out there giving it all they had, the blood, sweat and tears, and the people they represented, the people they counted on for support when the times are tough, were leaving them when they needed them most. None of those players on the field ever quit, even when most of the fans did. My son never quit cheering even when he would cheer, “Go Cyclones,” the alumni behind us would say, “Suck” after him. We stayed with the players on the field and cheered until the game was over.
Afterwards, Nicolas got some interesting compliments. Some people stated: “He must be a new fan because he hasn’t figured out that we lose every game, He sure has a lot of energy, He will learn eventually.” But in the next game, when the going gets tough, by Nicolas stepping up as he did and impacting the people around us, I think they are going to miss him a lot! I left the game a very proud father.
What a great psychology lesson in all of this. How often do we give up on something we want to achieve before the game is really over? How many times do we fail to support others in the pursuit of their goals when they need us the most? How often do we give up supporting others because we are looking for their success to make us happy and when we assume they won’t or they don’t achieve their goals we turn our backs on them? How often do we base our happiness on others success instead of our own? How often do we commit ourselves 100% in the pursuit of a goal until the very end? How often do we give up on others and ourselves before the clock runs out?
This experience brings to mind a great quote:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Whether you are in the game as a player or as a Fan remember you are always playing in some sort of game. Most people only saw the game on the field. I saw the game in the stands as a fan also. In the game of your life the clock is still ticking so keep on playing until the very last second. Never give up. Be sure to be a great fan of others also. Cheer for them and support them in the pursuit of their goals no matter if they win or if they fail. Don’t base your happiness on others successes, if you are, that means that you are just a spectator and need to get back engaged in your own game. Remember to walk a mile in other peoples’ shoes before you turn and walk away. Never stop believing in the greatness each of possesses individually or as a team.
Always believe, Always Hope, Always Dream! Never Give Up, and Never Walk Away! Stay Engaged in the Game of Life.
If you need to get engaged in the game of life and you are blaming the economy, the people on your team, and giving up, Step up now and CALL NOW to get back in the game. (919) 792-0085!
11/4/08
Thank you for being you!
Thank you for being you!
I had the most wonderful compliment given to me the other day. At the end of a personal coaching session, one of my favorite clients told me, “Thank you for being you.” My instant response was, “You’re welcome, I tried for many years to not be me and it really didn’t work that well.”
We were both taken aback a little with my response. After a good laugh and a little reflection I was a surprised by the truth of my statement. How often do we not accept all of who we really are? How often do we run away from parts of us that we do not like, respect, or appreciate? The problem is the more you run away from them the larger they get, the stronger they become and the more they create problems in your life.
As part of my initial Tony Robbins training we went skydiving as a “coaching challenge – life experience.” There were a few coaches that day who despite all of our emotional training were absolutely petrified and were confident the first step would be their last. As we prepped for the experience and all came home safe there was a success strategy that everyone used.
That strategy consisted of identifying our fears, those parts of ourselves that scared us the most, got prepared with the best mental, emotional and physical tools possible, DECIDED WHAT WE WOULD LET DO OF WHEN WE JUMPED OUT THE DOOR AND WHAT THIS EXPERIENCE WOULD MEAN FOR US, got in the plane, faced our fears, took one big step into the unknown and prayed!
You will get the best out of life by employing that strategy with everything that you fear, procrastinate, or are not facing within yourself. I encourage you to identify those parts of you that are hard to accept, the parts you don’t want to be you, get prepared with the best tools you can, the most information you can, face that fear, take action to embrace it, and you will be delighted with the results. By your second, third, fourth jump, you will be a pro and will have established a new level of success in your life.
To paraphrase an old movie; embrace “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” within yourself, get prepared, and Jump with faith. Life is worth the experience and your first response to “Thank you for being you” will be, “You are welcome, it was my pleasure.”
To your continued success,
James
If you do not like who you see in the mirror each morning, Call NOW for your dynamic Coaching Session that will change your focus. You can smile at yourself everyday in the mirror and say, "Thank you for being you." (919) 792-0085!
I had the most wonderful compliment given to me the other day. At the end of a personal coaching session, one of my favorite clients told me, “Thank you for being you.” My instant response was, “You’re welcome, I tried for many years to not be me and it really didn’t work that well.”
We were both taken aback a little with my response. After a good laugh and a little reflection I was a surprised by the truth of my statement. How often do we not accept all of who we really are? How often do we run away from parts of us that we do not like, respect, or appreciate? The problem is the more you run away from them the larger they get, the stronger they become and the more they create problems in your life.
As part of my initial Tony Robbins training we went skydiving as a “coaching challenge – life experience.” There were a few coaches that day who despite all of our emotional training were absolutely petrified and were confident the first step would be their last. As we prepped for the experience and all came home safe there was a success strategy that everyone used.
That strategy consisted of identifying our fears, those parts of ourselves that scared us the most, got prepared with the best mental, emotional and physical tools possible, DECIDED WHAT WE WOULD LET DO OF WHEN WE JUMPED OUT THE DOOR AND WHAT THIS EXPERIENCE WOULD MEAN FOR US, got in the plane, faced our fears, took one big step into the unknown and prayed!
You will get the best out of life by employing that strategy with everything that you fear, procrastinate, or are not facing within yourself. I encourage you to identify those parts of you that are hard to accept, the parts you don’t want to be you, get prepared with the best tools you can, the most information you can, face that fear, take action to embrace it, and you will be delighted with the results. By your second, third, fourth jump, you will be a pro and will have established a new level of success in your life.
To paraphrase an old movie; embrace “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” within yourself, get prepared, and Jump with faith. Life is worth the experience and your first response to “Thank you for being you” will be, “You are welcome, it was my pleasure.”
To your continued success,
James
If you do not like who you see in the mirror each morning, Call NOW for your dynamic Coaching Session that will change your focus. You can smile at yourself everyday in the mirror and say, "Thank you for being you." (919) 792-0085!
Make them eat it!
Make them Eat It!
Richard Bandler, the father of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), once said that everything he learned about human behavior he learned from his dog. I thought that was a very peculiar statement until I took a dog training course in Coronado, CA.
Do you know what to do when being approached and/or bitten by a dog? There are two dramatically different strategies. Surprisingly in a moment of fear, we tend to react with the exact opposite behavior that would allow us to be successful during a dog attack. This is also how some people deal with their challenges in life.
What would be your first reaction if you were outside, a barking dog was running toward you, and it looked like it was going to attack? The normal reaction would be to turn around and run. Many times in life, when confronted with our problems, we turn around and run. However, all that does is encourage the dog to attack and in the end you usually get bitten. A better strategy is to turn sideways to the dog, freeze in place, and slowly put out your hand for the sniff test. Why? This behavior tells the dog that you are not a threat. It is not an aggressive stance. By taking a quarter turn away from the dog you are still looking at it but not facing it in an adversarial position.
Many of life’s problems only require us to stay put for a second, take a deep breath, turn a little to one side or the other, adjust our perceptions, and then slowly extend ourselves to the problem in order to find resolution.
However, if the dog continues to charge toward you and bites down on your arm, what then? What would you do? Panic and fear usually kick in and we try to pull away from the biting dog. Wrong idea! If you follow that instinct, instead of only getting a few puncture wounds from the teeth, you would end up ripping the flesh on your arm as you pull and jerk your arm away.
The appropriate strategy is to “Make him eat it!” If you move into the problem with aggressiveness and shove your arm deeper into the dog’s mouth, the dog will end up choking on your arm and have to release its hold on you. The energy you spend by giving the dog what he wants will actually cause the problem to stop. Many times, our problems are the same way. When we move into the problem, use the energy of it in an effective way to move through it, instead of pulling back. The problem loses its grip and you may find yourself free of the challenge.
As you think of the problems and challenges in your life, are you running away or pulling away from them? Remember, the first step is to just stop! No emotional state lasts forever. Turn sideways a little bit to see it from a different perspective. If the problems and challenges already have an emotional hold on you, STOP pulling away from them, take a deep breath and push forward with all of your might into it. You may find that the problem will lose its grip on you. You can set yourself free.
If you have problems that are biting you and you are pulling away, give me a call for a life changing Coaching Session. CALL NOW! (919) 792-0085
Richard Bandler, the father of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), once said that everything he learned about human behavior he learned from his dog. I thought that was a very peculiar statement until I took a dog training course in Coronado, CA.
Do you know what to do when being approached and/or bitten by a dog? There are two dramatically different strategies. Surprisingly in a moment of fear, we tend to react with the exact opposite behavior that would allow us to be successful during a dog attack. This is also how some people deal with their challenges in life.
What would be your first reaction if you were outside, a barking dog was running toward you, and it looked like it was going to attack? The normal reaction would be to turn around and run. Many times in life, when confronted with our problems, we turn around and run. However, all that does is encourage the dog to attack and in the end you usually get bitten. A better strategy is to turn sideways to the dog, freeze in place, and slowly put out your hand for the sniff test. Why? This behavior tells the dog that you are not a threat. It is not an aggressive stance. By taking a quarter turn away from the dog you are still looking at it but not facing it in an adversarial position.
Many of life’s problems only require us to stay put for a second, take a deep breath, turn a little to one side or the other, adjust our perceptions, and then slowly extend ourselves to the problem in order to find resolution.
However, if the dog continues to charge toward you and bites down on your arm, what then? What would you do? Panic and fear usually kick in and we try to pull away from the biting dog. Wrong idea! If you follow that instinct, instead of only getting a few puncture wounds from the teeth, you would end up ripping the flesh on your arm as you pull and jerk your arm away.
The appropriate strategy is to “Make him eat it!” If you move into the problem with aggressiveness and shove your arm deeper into the dog’s mouth, the dog will end up choking on your arm and have to release its hold on you. The energy you spend by giving the dog what he wants will actually cause the problem to stop. Many times, our problems are the same way. When we move into the problem, use the energy of it in an effective way to move through it, instead of pulling back. The problem loses its grip and you may find yourself free of the challenge.
As you think of the problems and challenges in your life, are you running away or pulling away from them? Remember, the first step is to just stop! No emotional state lasts forever. Turn sideways a little bit to see it from a different perspective. If the problems and challenges already have an emotional hold on you, STOP pulling away from them, take a deep breath and push forward with all of your might into it. You may find that the problem will lose its grip on you. You can set yourself free.
If you have problems that are biting you and you are pulling away, give me a call for a life changing Coaching Session. CALL NOW! (919) 792-0085
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