Many years ago when I first started watching an occasional episode of American Idol, I was shocked, speechless, and sometimes stunned by what “Simon says.” However, I have watched many episodes since then and out of all of the judges, I look forward to his feedback the most.
As a member of Toastmaster’s, nothing bummed me out more than receiving a speech evaluation of, “You are so much better than me so I don’t even know what to say,” or “you are so good, I can never find anything to say bad about your speech.” All that I heard was, “Blah, blah, blah.” That feedback was extremely ineffective and meaningless to me. I imagine the evaluator felt they were cheering me up and making me feel good. Many times, I left the meeting questioning how good or poor my performance was.
So there I was last night in front of my bathroom mirror, brushing my teeth, and thinking, “What would Simon say?” I had lost 5 pounds about a month ago and had not gone up or down since then. I stopped exercising due to some serious chest congestion but had not made any further progress. As I pinched the bit around my waist and turned sideways, I gave myself a Simon, American Idol, reality check. My long term goal was not being met and even though I have a million reasons, “why,” my waist and self image were staying the same. That direct feedback did NOT leave me with a good feeling.
When a person stops and evaluates the situation they are in, there are always two ways to look at it. When I looked at myself in the mirror, it was a great time to acknowledge what was great about the situation. I was down 5 pounds, had not gained it back, and was having this painful discussion with myself! However, with an honest long term evaluation of where I was now and where I want to be this summer when I take off my shirt at the beach, there was clearly more progress that needed to be made. I was still able to pinch more than an inch and it was hard to stomach! Truthful feedback, even when it is not what we want it to be, engages our levels of emotion and motivation which allows us to keep working towards our goals or get frustrated, give up, and quit.
In that painful moment a profound decision was made. I recommitted to my goal and vision of being on the beach. The next morning I was running again and making better food choices. In Toastmasters’, I found some good honest “Simon says” evaluators and engaged them to give me honest, direct, and blunt feedback after the meetings on my performance. I have a newfound appreciation for my new version of “Simon says…”
If you are stuck in a place without much motivation, the first thing you can do is to give yourself some direct “Simon says” feedback. Get real and evaluate your performance today in relationship to what it takes to “be the next American Idol.” Evaluate your current performance to what it will take to win the whole competition. It will show you where you can grow and be more instead of becoming complacent and feeling good where you are. After all, having watched several seasons of American Idol, Simon has always been right.
2/23/09
2/13/09
Are you thinking BIG enough?
Are You Dreaming BIG Enough?
Every night before dinner, we say Grace. It is a great moment for us to remember what we are thankful for in life and share what is in our heart with each other. My 5-year old daughter, Isabelle, said grace last night and this is what she shared with us, “Starlight, Starbright, I wish for all of the beautiful things in life, for all our dreams to come true, and we learn a lot, Amen.” Then she asked me a question, “Daddy, will it come true?”
We all face challenges on the way to achieving our goals and need support to achieve them. I was talking to my cousin the other day about some sales and marketing issues in my business. He is a very successful entrepreneur and after our short 5 minute call, I left totally energized. He opened my mind to levels of success and prosperity that had not previously entered my mind. My thinking was stretched outside of the box of what I thought was possible and the vision I had for my business grew ten fold.
Are you dreaming big enough? That is my question for the week. Are you dreaming BIG enough? Take a moment and think of all that you can be. Even as you answer that, you are still more than that. And if you can dream even bigger than that, you are still more than that. And yet again, you are even more than that.
In today’s economy there is prosperity, abundance and the ability to achieve big dreams. Are you reaching out those people who will believe in you, your ability, and you being more than you think are? Your peer group is critical in terms of surrounding yourself with possibility. This is the greatest time in history to step up and create all that you desire. You will have to take on the challenges of leadership and uncertainty. You may have to stop relying on a business to provide a job for you and provide one for yourself. You may need to move, downsize, or one of many different things in order to set yourself up for prosperity in the future. No matter what it is, KEEP YOUR DREAM ALIVE and KEEP DREAMING BIG! Where your focus goes, energy and emotion flows.
My answer to Isabelle’s question was simple. “If you continue to believe in your dreams, surround yourself with people who believe in your dream, and work hard enough, all of your dreams will come true.”
Every night before dinner, we say Grace. It is a great moment for us to remember what we are thankful for in life and share what is in our heart with each other. My 5-year old daughter, Isabelle, said grace last night and this is what she shared with us, “Starlight, Starbright, I wish for all of the beautiful things in life, for all our dreams to come true, and we learn a lot, Amen.” Then she asked me a question, “Daddy, will it come true?”
We all face challenges on the way to achieving our goals and need support to achieve them. I was talking to my cousin the other day about some sales and marketing issues in my business. He is a very successful entrepreneur and after our short 5 minute call, I left totally energized. He opened my mind to levels of success and prosperity that had not previously entered my mind. My thinking was stretched outside of the box of what I thought was possible and the vision I had for my business grew ten fold.
Are you dreaming big enough? That is my question for the week. Are you dreaming BIG enough? Take a moment and think of all that you can be. Even as you answer that, you are still more than that. And if you can dream even bigger than that, you are still more than that. And yet again, you are even more than that.
In today’s economy there is prosperity, abundance and the ability to achieve big dreams. Are you reaching out those people who will believe in you, your ability, and you being more than you think are? Your peer group is critical in terms of surrounding yourself with possibility. This is the greatest time in history to step up and create all that you desire. You will have to take on the challenges of leadership and uncertainty. You may have to stop relying on a business to provide a job for you and provide one for yourself. You may need to move, downsize, or one of many different things in order to set yourself up for prosperity in the future. No matter what it is, KEEP YOUR DREAM ALIVE and KEEP DREAMING BIG! Where your focus goes, energy and emotion flows.
My answer to Isabelle’s question was simple. “If you continue to believe in your dreams, surround yourself with people who believe in your dream, and work hard enough, all of your dreams will come true.”
2/3/09
Are you a great communicator?
Are you a Good Communicator?
Last weekend, I was in a local department store to pick up a back-ordered item that had come in. The store was fairly busy and there was a long line of people waiting in line to checkout. I overheard a nicely dressed lady, who was speaking on her cell phone, use that magical phrase, “What part of “NO” don’t you understand?”
It reminded me of when Nicolas was young. He had some of the greatest phrases. He came home from school one day and stated that we were going to be celebrating “Marfa-Loofa King Day.” He also loved to go swimming in his “bailing suit” and when things were going great he would answer “Okey-Donkey” instead of “Okey-Dokey”! My daughter Isabelle also has some lines to communicate. She loves eating those yummy little green fruits called, “Ba-kiwi’s. Originally, they were “Bikini’s,” but she took our correction well. She also loves to have “Syr-ee-up” on her pancakes and eat “straw-burr-erries.” My wife and I understood what they were saying but others had no clue as to what they were trying to communicate.
There are two great books, “Anguished English” and “More Anguished English” by Richard Lederer that give hilarious examples of miscommunication. Here are some headlines from newspapers that are noteworthy, “Dover Clinic Applauds State’s Unwanted Pregnancy Drive”, “Another Body Found Missing”, and “Nude Man Pulls Knife on Workers.”
In all of the above examples, who is communicating effectively and who is not? When all is said and done, the only meaning your communication has is the meaning the other person interprets from it, not the meaning you intended to communicate. Keeping this in mind could stop a lot of miscommunication and solve a lot of problems. For everyone out there who feels misunderstood, try communicating a different message.
As for our kids, we communicated effectively because we understood what they were trying to communicate even though the words they used didn’t make sense to others. My wife and I found their communications to be quite endearing, once we understood their meanings.
Next time you hear, “What part of “NO” don’t you understand?” in a conversation, you may ask yourself, “What part of “NO” did that parent not effectively communicate to their child?” Chances are, the child heard something very different than what the parent was trying to communicate and the parent was probably way off in what they were expecting their child to know or understand.
If you feel like no one understands you, try communicating in a different way. Use different words, phrases, metaphors or analogies. Remember, the only meaning of your communication is the meaning the other person interprets from it! It is your responsibility to communicate effectively with others.
Last weekend, I was in a local department store to pick up a back-ordered item that had come in. The store was fairly busy and there was a long line of people waiting in line to checkout. I overheard a nicely dressed lady, who was speaking on her cell phone, use that magical phrase, “What part of “NO” don’t you understand?”
It reminded me of when Nicolas was young. He had some of the greatest phrases. He came home from school one day and stated that we were going to be celebrating “Marfa-Loofa King Day.” He also loved to go swimming in his “bailing suit” and when things were going great he would answer “Okey-Donkey” instead of “Okey-Dokey”! My daughter Isabelle also has some lines to communicate. She loves eating those yummy little green fruits called, “Ba-kiwi’s. Originally, they were “Bikini’s,” but she took our correction well. She also loves to have “Syr-ee-up” on her pancakes and eat “straw-burr-erries.” My wife and I understood what they were saying but others had no clue as to what they were trying to communicate.
There are two great books, “Anguished English” and “More Anguished English” by Richard Lederer that give hilarious examples of miscommunication. Here are some headlines from newspapers that are noteworthy, “Dover Clinic Applauds State’s Unwanted Pregnancy Drive”, “Another Body Found Missing”, and “Nude Man Pulls Knife on Workers.”
In all of the above examples, who is communicating effectively and who is not? When all is said and done, the only meaning your communication has is the meaning the other person interprets from it, not the meaning you intended to communicate. Keeping this in mind could stop a lot of miscommunication and solve a lot of problems. For everyone out there who feels misunderstood, try communicating a different message.
As for our kids, we communicated effectively because we understood what they were trying to communicate even though the words they used didn’t make sense to others. My wife and I found their communications to be quite endearing, once we understood their meanings.
Next time you hear, “What part of “NO” don’t you understand?” in a conversation, you may ask yourself, “What part of “NO” did that parent not effectively communicate to their child?” Chances are, the child heard something very different than what the parent was trying to communicate and the parent was probably way off in what they were expecting their child to know or understand.
If you feel like no one understands you, try communicating in a different way. Use different words, phrases, metaphors or analogies. Remember, the only meaning of your communication is the meaning the other person interprets from it! It is your responsibility to communicate effectively with others.
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