“Two Roads Converged…”
Last week, I had the distinct pleasure of taking Isabelle to school. As we came up to the stoplight leading out of our neighborhood, the line was very long and I guessed that it would take about 3 light changes before we would be able to turn left onto the main street. We were looking at a ten minute wait in line which meant she would be late for school.
Instinct took over and I quickly merged into the right hand lane. I drove past the long line of cars straight up to the light. At this point, the only way for us to go was the “wrong” way. We had to turn right instead of left, which took us farther away from her school. Isabelle immediately realized we were going the wrong direction and asked, “Daddy, why are we were going the “wrong” way?”
I turned right, drove 100 yards and turned around in a different neighborhood entrance. Almost immediately, I was able to make the left hand turn onto the main street going towards Isabelle’s school. As I drove, I explained to Isabelle that I was taking a “secret short cut” to school and even though it seemed like the “wrong” way, sometimes going the opposite way of everyone else was quicker. We would have to experiment and see if it was true. In this case, it was true, much to her delight. She even waved at the line of cars as we passed them, who were still waiting for the light to turn green.
A similar experience occurred at the Atlanta airport last Friday. I was waiting for my return flight and needed to stretch my legs one last time before boarding time. As I walked farther and farther down the terminal wing away from the main hub, I noticed that not only did the people traffic lighten up but the drink prices for Coke and water dropped with every store. It was also amazing that the Coke prices were lower than the water prices. Isn’t it ironic how what is better for you is sometimes more expensive and what seems easier, less expensive and more convenient is sometimes not as good for you?
In today’s world, with the media news, business forecasts, stock market news, and radio ads, you may need to get away from the mainstream, take a walk away from the mainstream to where it is not as crowded. It is good to notice where opportunity lies and more often than not, it will be away from popular idealism. Making a little bit better investment on what you are feeding your mind, body and spirit can make a big difference in your health. It can also provide you the edge that will make a small difference in your life today and a very BIG difference in your life in the long run. Make the investment in yourself that will yield results for you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. If you take the initiative to walk a little farther away from the crowds you may be surprised at the deals you will find.
This morning Isabelle asked me if we were taking the “secret short cut” to school. It took me a moment to understand that she had changed her association from us going to school the “wrong” way to the “secret short cut” way. Separate yourself from the rest of the people who are waiting in line for something different to happen. That is the secret to getting ahead. All of the answers you need to overcome any challenge in your life right now are out there waiting for you. Be courageous, brave and try going the “wrong” way once in a while. We will see you at the “secret short cut” turnaround and we’ll be sure and wave “Hi!”
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3/16/09
3/10/09
Let it Snow...
Let it Snow…
It seems that snow is not such a novelty here in North Carolina this year. We awoke this morning to find a nice blanket of white covering the ground, school cancelled, and the kids cheering wildly. The excitement almost ranked up there with Christmas Morning!
As the snow continued to fall throughout the morning, I continued to ponder going for a run. I have not had the chance to run in the snow for almost 20 years and suddenly the opportunity was presenting itself twice over the course of the last few months.
On came the four layers of clothes, beanie hat, and gloves. Out the door I went into one of the most peaceful moments of my life. It was peaceful because everything was quiet! The usual streets of the neighborhood went from high traffic of vehicles to high traffic of laughing kids. It is amazing to me that in a city where it hardly snows there are so many kids with sleds. The cars were replaced with laughing, smiling, bundled up kids playing in the snow with their parents taking pictures.
The message Mother Nature was sending was ironic. In a world full of turmoil, stress about the economy, unemployment, and uncertainty; if you don’t make time for the important things in life, then life will find a way to make you make time for the things that are important in life. Mother Nature was saying, “Stop, I am going to shut down business for a day so you have the time to reconnect with what is important in life. Spend the morning with your kids, laugh, relax, and enjoy a moment of your life free of stress and work.”
I tell my clients the same when it comes to their health. “If you don’t make time for you body’s health, it will make you make time for its health.”
• What do you need to make time for in your life that you haven’t?
• How is that affecting your quality of life?
• What if you made yourself take time for it?
• How would that help you even more in the other areas of your life?
As I continued on my run I felt a real sense of peace and enjoyment. I enjoyed
taking the path less travelled through the woods and making the first footprints in the snow. I reveled in the thought that every snow flake was one of a kind and how beautiful the woods were wrapped in a winter blanket of snow.
In hindsight, I probably could have found a fresh patch of snow and made a snow angel. I’ll remember that if Mother Nature gives us another opportunity to make time for what is important in life. For now, I will just say, “Thank you” for this morning and hope that we can go 3 for 3 before spring rolls around. Enjoy making some time for the important things in life today!
It seems that snow is not such a novelty here in North Carolina this year. We awoke this morning to find a nice blanket of white covering the ground, school cancelled, and the kids cheering wildly. The excitement almost ranked up there with Christmas Morning!
As the snow continued to fall throughout the morning, I continued to ponder going for a run. I have not had the chance to run in the snow for almost 20 years and suddenly the opportunity was presenting itself twice over the course of the last few months.
On came the four layers of clothes, beanie hat, and gloves. Out the door I went into one of the most peaceful moments of my life. It was peaceful because everything was quiet! The usual streets of the neighborhood went from high traffic of vehicles to high traffic of laughing kids. It is amazing to me that in a city where it hardly snows there are so many kids with sleds. The cars were replaced with laughing, smiling, bundled up kids playing in the snow with their parents taking pictures.
The message Mother Nature was sending was ironic. In a world full of turmoil, stress about the economy, unemployment, and uncertainty; if you don’t make time for the important things in life, then life will find a way to make you make time for the things that are important in life. Mother Nature was saying, “Stop, I am going to shut down business for a day so you have the time to reconnect with what is important in life. Spend the morning with your kids, laugh, relax, and enjoy a moment of your life free of stress and work.”
I tell my clients the same when it comes to their health. “If you don’t make time for you body’s health, it will make you make time for its health.”
• What do you need to make time for in your life that you haven’t?
• How is that affecting your quality of life?
• What if you made yourself take time for it?
• How would that help you even more in the other areas of your life?
As I continued on my run I felt a real sense of peace and enjoyment. I enjoyed
taking the path less travelled through the woods and making the first footprints in the snow. I reveled in the thought that every snow flake was one of a kind and how beautiful the woods were wrapped in a winter blanket of snow.
In hindsight, I probably could have found a fresh patch of snow and made a snow angel. I’ll remember that if Mother Nature gives us another opportunity to make time for what is important in life. For now, I will just say, “Thank you” for this morning and hope that we can go 3 for 3 before spring rolls around. Enjoy making some time for the important things in life today!
3/4/09
What are you Willing to Give Up?
What are you willing to give up?
Have you ever had a nightmare that seemed real? During Nicolas’ youth sports we saw many nightmares come true when it came to watching fathers coach their sons’ team. Whether it was the other parents in the stands complaining of favoritism and unfair playing time, the coach getting upset at how his son was playing or the son acting out in defiance of the father; it seemed that for both the father and the son there was more pain associated to coaching and playing than pleasure.
So, there I was on the Board of Directors at the YMCA, my son on a basketball roster that had no coach, and the Director of the YMCA asking me if I had ever considered coaching.
Of course, I had considered it and promptly dismissed it. I had all of the freedom that I wanted being the “Best Fan” on the sidelines. All I had to do was show up, sit down and cheer for Nicolas from the bench and occasionally bring drinks. Bringing drinks was the best part because I could bring his favorite flavor Gatorade and be the hero without much effort.
As I heard myself say, “Sure, I can be an assistant coach for the team,” I was screaming inside of my head, “What did you just say?” And, as I showed up on the first day of practice, as the Head Coach for the team, I was way out of my comfort zone.
A funny thing happened as the weeks of practice and games progressed. I received some basketball training books, I checked out training DVD’s from the library, and continued to educate and discipline myself to show up with a plan for every practice. I agonized over every drill, every tip, hint and suggestion that I gave every young boy. I arm chair quarterbacked myself in my abilities after every practice and game. And, through personal discipline to always be a better coach, learned a lot.
One practice in particular, I took candy to reward players for some drills we did at the end of practice and as the boys eagerly grabbed and fought for their favorite flavor, one young boy on the team, Johnny declined. His dad explained to me that for Lent he had given up candy. Johnny was 9 at the time and I was seriously impressed at the character and discipline he was living. As I learned more about Johnny I found that he played on our team, his school team, and lived at the gym playing ball with the grownups 7 days a week. His mom would pick him up from his school practice, feed him in the car and bring him to our practice. Sometimes after our practice, if his schoolwork was completed, his dad would take him to the gym to play.
Many people in life want the Freedom and instant gratification that comes from having no discipline or rules. You have heard people say, “I want to be thin so that I can eat whatever I want” or “I wish I was rich so I could buy anything that I wanted and not worry about money ever again.” If you were thin, you would not eat anything you wanted and if you did, you would not be thin for long. Same with being rich, if you never focused and concerned about how you spent your money, you would find yourself broke.
True Freedom in life comes only through discipline. The word discipline comes from the root word disciple, which means, “a student, a learner.” Discipline also comes in two different forms. We can discipline ourselves to NOT have something. During Lent, it is traditionally represented as something that you “give up” for the 40 days. If you are older, you may remember that every Friday it was tradition to not eat red meat. Fasting is also associated with Lent in order to represent cleansing and purification. The ability to discipline ourselves also can be done to “have” something. I personally am giving up procrastination and am disciplining myself to “Have” more focus in my writing and business sales everyday.
We learn through gaining knowledge, taking action and self evaluation. The freedom of movement a thin person experiences only comes by being disciplined about what they put in their mouth and how they move their body to exercise. A rich person is rich because they have disciplined themselves on how to maximize their income and cut their expenses to an acceptable standard of living for themselves. Johnny will grow up and experience the joy and freedom of being on his high school team, college team, and I believe the NBA because he disciplines himself to create positive habits and behaviors that put him ahead. The freedom to REALLY develop a meaningful relationship with my son only came when I overcame my own fears and insecurities. I disciplined myself with gaining knowledge, planning, taking action, and self evaluating my performance to become the coach that I wanted to be for myself, my son, and his team mates.
If you want to travel more, buy that new car, improve your relationships, move towards that more meaningful job it will only come from disciplining yourself to do something new in order to grow. I would encourage you to find a place in life where you can set a higher standard of discipline for yourself. You will be amazed at the results you will receive from it in the long run. Nicolas will not remember that I used to bring Lemon-Lime Gatorade for his drinks once a season, but he will always remember me as his coach and “Best Fan.” You can the freedom to have all that you desire in life with a little more discipline. It is the essence of success and the cornerstone of character.
To your continued success,
James M Murphy
Have you ever had a nightmare that seemed real? During Nicolas’ youth sports we saw many nightmares come true when it came to watching fathers coach their sons’ team. Whether it was the other parents in the stands complaining of favoritism and unfair playing time, the coach getting upset at how his son was playing or the son acting out in defiance of the father; it seemed that for both the father and the son there was more pain associated to coaching and playing than pleasure.
So, there I was on the Board of Directors at the YMCA, my son on a basketball roster that had no coach, and the Director of the YMCA asking me if I had ever considered coaching.
Of course, I had considered it and promptly dismissed it. I had all of the freedom that I wanted being the “Best Fan” on the sidelines. All I had to do was show up, sit down and cheer for Nicolas from the bench and occasionally bring drinks. Bringing drinks was the best part because I could bring his favorite flavor Gatorade and be the hero without much effort.
As I heard myself say, “Sure, I can be an assistant coach for the team,” I was screaming inside of my head, “What did you just say?” And, as I showed up on the first day of practice, as the Head Coach for the team, I was way out of my comfort zone.
A funny thing happened as the weeks of practice and games progressed. I received some basketball training books, I checked out training DVD’s from the library, and continued to educate and discipline myself to show up with a plan for every practice. I agonized over every drill, every tip, hint and suggestion that I gave every young boy. I arm chair quarterbacked myself in my abilities after every practice and game. And, through personal discipline to always be a better coach, learned a lot.
One practice in particular, I took candy to reward players for some drills we did at the end of practice and as the boys eagerly grabbed and fought for their favorite flavor, one young boy on the team, Johnny declined. His dad explained to me that for Lent he had given up candy. Johnny was 9 at the time and I was seriously impressed at the character and discipline he was living. As I learned more about Johnny I found that he played on our team, his school team, and lived at the gym playing ball with the grownups 7 days a week. His mom would pick him up from his school practice, feed him in the car and bring him to our practice. Sometimes after our practice, if his schoolwork was completed, his dad would take him to the gym to play.
Many people in life want the Freedom and instant gratification that comes from having no discipline or rules. You have heard people say, “I want to be thin so that I can eat whatever I want” or “I wish I was rich so I could buy anything that I wanted and not worry about money ever again.” If you were thin, you would not eat anything you wanted and if you did, you would not be thin for long. Same with being rich, if you never focused and concerned about how you spent your money, you would find yourself broke.
True Freedom in life comes only through discipline. The word discipline comes from the root word disciple, which means, “a student, a learner.” Discipline also comes in two different forms. We can discipline ourselves to NOT have something. During Lent, it is traditionally represented as something that you “give up” for the 40 days. If you are older, you may remember that every Friday it was tradition to not eat red meat. Fasting is also associated with Lent in order to represent cleansing and purification. The ability to discipline ourselves also can be done to “have” something. I personally am giving up procrastination and am disciplining myself to “Have” more focus in my writing and business sales everyday.
We learn through gaining knowledge, taking action and self evaluation. The freedom of movement a thin person experiences only comes by being disciplined about what they put in their mouth and how they move their body to exercise. A rich person is rich because they have disciplined themselves on how to maximize their income and cut their expenses to an acceptable standard of living for themselves. Johnny will grow up and experience the joy and freedom of being on his high school team, college team, and I believe the NBA because he disciplines himself to create positive habits and behaviors that put him ahead. The freedom to REALLY develop a meaningful relationship with my son only came when I overcame my own fears and insecurities. I disciplined myself with gaining knowledge, planning, taking action, and self evaluating my performance to become the coach that I wanted to be for myself, my son, and his team mates.
If you want to travel more, buy that new car, improve your relationships, move towards that more meaningful job it will only come from disciplining yourself to do something new in order to grow. I would encourage you to find a place in life where you can set a higher standard of discipline for yourself. You will be amazed at the results you will receive from it in the long run. Nicolas will not remember that I used to bring Lemon-Lime Gatorade for his drinks once a season, but he will always remember me as his coach and “Best Fan.” You can the freedom to have all that you desire in life with a little more discipline. It is the essence of success and the cornerstone of character.
To your continued success,
James M Murphy
2/23/09
Simon Says...
Many years ago when I first started watching an occasional episode of American Idol, I was shocked, speechless, and sometimes stunned by what “Simon says.” However, I have watched many episodes since then and out of all of the judges, I look forward to his feedback the most.
As a member of Toastmaster’s, nothing bummed me out more than receiving a speech evaluation of, “You are so much better than me so I don’t even know what to say,” or “you are so good, I can never find anything to say bad about your speech.” All that I heard was, “Blah, blah, blah.” That feedback was extremely ineffective and meaningless to me. I imagine the evaluator felt they were cheering me up and making me feel good. Many times, I left the meeting questioning how good or poor my performance was.
So there I was last night in front of my bathroom mirror, brushing my teeth, and thinking, “What would Simon say?” I had lost 5 pounds about a month ago and had not gone up or down since then. I stopped exercising due to some serious chest congestion but had not made any further progress. As I pinched the bit around my waist and turned sideways, I gave myself a Simon, American Idol, reality check. My long term goal was not being met and even though I have a million reasons, “why,” my waist and self image were staying the same. That direct feedback did NOT leave me with a good feeling.
When a person stops and evaluates the situation they are in, there are always two ways to look at it. When I looked at myself in the mirror, it was a great time to acknowledge what was great about the situation. I was down 5 pounds, had not gained it back, and was having this painful discussion with myself! However, with an honest long term evaluation of where I was now and where I want to be this summer when I take off my shirt at the beach, there was clearly more progress that needed to be made. I was still able to pinch more than an inch and it was hard to stomach! Truthful feedback, even when it is not what we want it to be, engages our levels of emotion and motivation which allows us to keep working towards our goals or get frustrated, give up, and quit.
In that painful moment a profound decision was made. I recommitted to my goal and vision of being on the beach. The next morning I was running again and making better food choices. In Toastmasters’, I found some good honest “Simon says” evaluators and engaged them to give me honest, direct, and blunt feedback after the meetings on my performance. I have a newfound appreciation for my new version of “Simon says…”
If you are stuck in a place without much motivation, the first thing you can do is to give yourself some direct “Simon says” feedback. Get real and evaluate your performance today in relationship to what it takes to “be the next American Idol.” Evaluate your current performance to what it will take to win the whole competition. It will show you where you can grow and be more instead of becoming complacent and feeling good where you are. After all, having watched several seasons of American Idol, Simon has always been right.
As a member of Toastmaster’s, nothing bummed me out more than receiving a speech evaluation of, “You are so much better than me so I don’t even know what to say,” or “you are so good, I can never find anything to say bad about your speech.” All that I heard was, “Blah, blah, blah.” That feedback was extremely ineffective and meaningless to me. I imagine the evaluator felt they were cheering me up and making me feel good. Many times, I left the meeting questioning how good or poor my performance was.
So there I was last night in front of my bathroom mirror, brushing my teeth, and thinking, “What would Simon say?” I had lost 5 pounds about a month ago and had not gone up or down since then. I stopped exercising due to some serious chest congestion but had not made any further progress. As I pinched the bit around my waist and turned sideways, I gave myself a Simon, American Idol, reality check. My long term goal was not being met and even though I have a million reasons, “why,” my waist and self image were staying the same. That direct feedback did NOT leave me with a good feeling.
When a person stops and evaluates the situation they are in, there are always two ways to look at it. When I looked at myself in the mirror, it was a great time to acknowledge what was great about the situation. I was down 5 pounds, had not gained it back, and was having this painful discussion with myself! However, with an honest long term evaluation of where I was now and where I want to be this summer when I take off my shirt at the beach, there was clearly more progress that needed to be made. I was still able to pinch more than an inch and it was hard to stomach! Truthful feedback, even when it is not what we want it to be, engages our levels of emotion and motivation which allows us to keep working towards our goals or get frustrated, give up, and quit.
In that painful moment a profound decision was made. I recommitted to my goal and vision of being on the beach. The next morning I was running again and making better food choices. In Toastmasters’, I found some good honest “Simon says” evaluators and engaged them to give me honest, direct, and blunt feedback after the meetings on my performance. I have a newfound appreciation for my new version of “Simon says…”
If you are stuck in a place without much motivation, the first thing you can do is to give yourself some direct “Simon says” feedback. Get real and evaluate your performance today in relationship to what it takes to “be the next American Idol.” Evaluate your current performance to what it will take to win the whole competition. It will show you where you can grow and be more instead of becoming complacent and feeling good where you are. After all, having watched several seasons of American Idol, Simon has always been right.
2/13/09
Are you thinking BIG enough?
Are You Dreaming BIG Enough?
Every night before dinner, we say Grace. It is a great moment for us to remember what we are thankful for in life and share what is in our heart with each other. My 5-year old daughter, Isabelle, said grace last night and this is what she shared with us, “Starlight, Starbright, I wish for all of the beautiful things in life, for all our dreams to come true, and we learn a lot, Amen.” Then she asked me a question, “Daddy, will it come true?”
We all face challenges on the way to achieving our goals and need support to achieve them. I was talking to my cousin the other day about some sales and marketing issues in my business. He is a very successful entrepreneur and after our short 5 minute call, I left totally energized. He opened my mind to levels of success and prosperity that had not previously entered my mind. My thinking was stretched outside of the box of what I thought was possible and the vision I had for my business grew ten fold.
Are you dreaming big enough? That is my question for the week. Are you dreaming BIG enough? Take a moment and think of all that you can be. Even as you answer that, you are still more than that. And if you can dream even bigger than that, you are still more than that. And yet again, you are even more than that.
In today’s economy there is prosperity, abundance and the ability to achieve big dreams. Are you reaching out those people who will believe in you, your ability, and you being more than you think are? Your peer group is critical in terms of surrounding yourself with possibility. This is the greatest time in history to step up and create all that you desire. You will have to take on the challenges of leadership and uncertainty. You may have to stop relying on a business to provide a job for you and provide one for yourself. You may need to move, downsize, or one of many different things in order to set yourself up for prosperity in the future. No matter what it is, KEEP YOUR DREAM ALIVE and KEEP DREAMING BIG! Where your focus goes, energy and emotion flows.
My answer to Isabelle’s question was simple. “If you continue to believe in your dreams, surround yourself with people who believe in your dream, and work hard enough, all of your dreams will come true.”
Every night before dinner, we say Grace. It is a great moment for us to remember what we are thankful for in life and share what is in our heart with each other. My 5-year old daughter, Isabelle, said grace last night and this is what she shared with us, “Starlight, Starbright, I wish for all of the beautiful things in life, for all our dreams to come true, and we learn a lot, Amen.” Then she asked me a question, “Daddy, will it come true?”
We all face challenges on the way to achieving our goals and need support to achieve them. I was talking to my cousin the other day about some sales and marketing issues in my business. He is a very successful entrepreneur and after our short 5 minute call, I left totally energized. He opened my mind to levels of success and prosperity that had not previously entered my mind. My thinking was stretched outside of the box of what I thought was possible and the vision I had for my business grew ten fold.
Are you dreaming big enough? That is my question for the week. Are you dreaming BIG enough? Take a moment and think of all that you can be. Even as you answer that, you are still more than that. And if you can dream even bigger than that, you are still more than that. And yet again, you are even more than that.
In today’s economy there is prosperity, abundance and the ability to achieve big dreams. Are you reaching out those people who will believe in you, your ability, and you being more than you think are? Your peer group is critical in terms of surrounding yourself with possibility. This is the greatest time in history to step up and create all that you desire. You will have to take on the challenges of leadership and uncertainty. You may have to stop relying on a business to provide a job for you and provide one for yourself. You may need to move, downsize, or one of many different things in order to set yourself up for prosperity in the future. No matter what it is, KEEP YOUR DREAM ALIVE and KEEP DREAMING BIG! Where your focus goes, energy and emotion flows.
My answer to Isabelle’s question was simple. “If you continue to believe in your dreams, surround yourself with people who believe in your dream, and work hard enough, all of your dreams will come true.”
2/3/09
Are you a great communicator?
Are you a Good Communicator?
Last weekend, I was in a local department store to pick up a back-ordered item that had come in. The store was fairly busy and there was a long line of people waiting in line to checkout. I overheard a nicely dressed lady, who was speaking on her cell phone, use that magical phrase, “What part of “NO” don’t you understand?”
It reminded me of when Nicolas was young. He had some of the greatest phrases. He came home from school one day and stated that we were going to be celebrating “Marfa-Loofa King Day.” He also loved to go swimming in his “bailing suit” and when things were going great he would answer “Okey-Donkey” instead of “Okey-Dokey”! My daughter Isabelle also has some lines to communicate. She loves eating those yummy little green fruits called, “Ba-kiwi’s. Originally, they were “Bikini’s,” but she took our correction well. She also loves to have “Syr-ee-up” on her pancakes and eat “straw-burr-erries.” My wife and I understood what they were saying but others had no clue as to what they were trying to communicate.
There are two great books, “Anguished English” and “More Anguished English” by Richard Lederer that give hilarious examples of miscommunication. Here are some headlines from newspapers that are noteworthy, “Dover Clinic Applauds State’s Unwanted Pregnancy Drive”, “Another Body Found Missing”, and “Nude Man Pulls Knife on Workers.”
In all of the above examples, who is communicating effectively and who is not? When all is said and done, the only meaning your communication has is the meaning the other person interprets from it, not the meaning you intended to communicate. Keeping this in mind could stop a lot of miscommunication and solve a lot of problems. For everyone out there who feels misunderstood, try communicating a different message.
As for our kids, we communicated effectively because we understood what they were trying to communicate even though the words they used didn’t make sense to others. My wife and I found their communications to be quite endearing, once we understood their meanings.
Next time you hear, “What part of “NO” don’t you understand?” in a conversation, you may ask yourself, “What part of “NO” did that parent not effectively communicate to their child?” Chances are, the child heard something very different than what the parent was trying to communicate and the parent was probably way off in what they were expecting their child to know or understand.
If you feel like no one understands you, try communicating in a different way. Use different words, phrases, metaphors or analogies. Remember, the only meaning of your communication is the meaning the other person interprets from it! It is your responsibility to communicate effectively with others.
Last weekend, I was in a local department store to pick up a back-ordered item that had come in. The store was fairly busy and there was a long line of people waiting in line to checkout. I overheard a nicely dressed lady, who was speaking on her cell phone, use that magical phrase, “What part of “NO” don’t you understand?”
It reminded me of when Nicolas was young. He had some of the greatest phrases. He came home from school one day and stated that we were going to be celebrating “Marfa-Loofa King Day.” He also loved to go swimming in his “bailing suit” and when things were going great he would answer “Okey-Donkey” instead of “Okey-Dokey”! My daughter Isabelle also has some lines to communicate. She loves eating those yummy little green fruits called, “Ba-kiwi’s. Originally, they were “Bikini’s,” but she took our correction well. She also loves to have “Syr-ee-up” on her pancakes and eat “straw-burr-erries.” My wife and I understood what they were saying but others had no clue as to what they were trying to communicate.
There are two great books, “Anguished English” and “More Anguished English” by Richard Lederer that give hilarious examples of miscommunication. Here are some headlines from newspapers that are noteworthy, “Dover Clinic Applauds State’s Unwanted Pregnancy Drive”, “Another Body Found Missing”, and “Nude Man Pulls Knife on Workers.”
In all of the above examples, who is communicating effectively and who is not? When all is said and done, the only meaning your communication has is the meaning the other person interprets from it, not the meaning you intended to communicate. Keeping this in mind could stop a lot of miscommunication and solve a lot of problems. For everyone out there who feels misunderstood, try communicating a different message.
As for our kids, we communicated effectively because we understood what they were trying to communicate even though the words they used didn’t make sense to others. My wife and I found their communications to be quite endearing, once we understood their meanings.
Next time you hear, “What part of “NO” don’t you understand?” in a conversation, you may ask yourself, “What part of “NO” did that parent not effectively communicate to their child?” Chances are, the child heard something very different than what the parent was trying to communicate and the parent was probably way off in what they were expecting their child to know or understand.
If you feel like no one understands you, try communicating in a different way. Use different words, phrases, metaphors or analogies. Remember, the only meaning of your communication is the meaning the other person interprets from it! It is your responsibility to communicate effectively with others.
1/20/09
A Historic Moment
A Historic Moment
January 20, 2009, was very historic day for the United States of America. For the first time since the birth of this nation an American citizen with racial ethnicity of 50% Caucasian, 43.75% Arabic and 6.25% Black African, was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States. Over 1.4 million Americans were packed together like sardines to watch President Barack Obama be sworn into public office.
Where was I during this momentous day in history? Watching a live internet feed in my office as it snowed for the first time in four years here in Raleigh, NC. I started to think of other moments that changed the course of history; in my living room in Tempe, AZ as the Twin Towers in New York City collapsed, in Target as I watched news of the Oklahoma City Bombings, in a ski lodge in Vail, CO as America began the Gulf War, in our old farmhouse with my mom watching the famous USA/Russia Olympic Hockey game, and in Kewanee, IL watching our living room TV as it showed black and white news footage of Elvis stepping off of a plane in Hawaii with a lei around his neck.
Remembering these moments in history got me thinking about some of the other happy memories from my life. I remember tromping through weeds twice as tall as me the day my dad and I went fishing, sitting in the back of the car going for an ice cream cone at the Tasty Freeze when the flavor of the night was lemon, or the thrill of shooting frogs with my cousins in a small farm pond in Missouri.
With my kids being so young, I started to wonder how they would remember the events of today. Probably, Nicolas and Isabelle will remember the snow today more than anything. I am hoping if we explain the historical significance of the day with Nicolas, and sit down with him tonight to watch the recording of the inauguration, he may remember it.
• What will your kids or other loved one’s remember as the Magic Moments over the course of their lifetime?
• What are you doing to create those Magic Moments with them?
• What will they remember when they are 40, 50, or 80 years old?
• Will those Magic Moments be filled with happy emotional times that you have created or one’s that have just happened?
• How can you work to purposefully live and share a life of Magic Moments for everyone you come in contact with?
Every moment could be a significant moment that someone will rememberas significant for the rest of their life. And, you hold within yourself the ability to make it be one! I am sure that my Dad didn’t plan on taking me fishing that day in order for me to have a Magical Moment that I would remember 30 years later. I don’t know if he even remembers how good that lemon ice cream tasted that night we drove to the Tasty Freeze. I do know that I have told my Uncle Don one million “Thank You’s” for the Missouri farm pond trips. However, I doubt he ever knew the tremendous impact they would have for me in my life when he invited me to go.
What makes these such Magical Moments? When someone steps up to serve, give and share a moment in their life to create something special with and for someone else. If you look back over your life I am sure that you have many Magical Moments. As you look forward to your future, what kind of Magic Moments could you create? Every moment of life has the potential for a Magic Moment. America will continue to have Magical Moments of history. Those Magic Moments are what make a country great. I encourage you to create some Magic Moments for yourself and others also! It will be what makes your life Great too!
January 20, 2009, was very historic day for the United States of America. For the first time since the birth of this nation an American citizen with racial ethnicity of 50% Caucasian, 43.75% Arabic and 6.25% Black African, was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States. Over 1.4 million Americans were packed together like sardines to watch President Barack Obama be sworn into public office.
Where was I during this momentous day in history? Watching a live internet feed in my office as it snowed for the first time in four years here in Raleigh, NC. I started to think of other moments that changed the course of history; in my living room in Tempe, AZ as the Twin Towers in New York City collapsed, in Target as I watched news of the Oklahoma City Bombings, in a ski lodge in Vail, CO as America began the Gulf War, in our old farmhouse with my mom watching the famous USA/Russia Olympic Hockey game, and in Kewanee, IL watching our living room TV as it showed black and white news footage of Elvis stepping off of a plane in Hawaii with a lei around his neck.
Remembering these moments in history got me thinking about some of the other happy memories from my life. I remember tromping through weeds twice as tall as me the day my dad and I went fishing, sitting in the back of the car going for an ice cream cone at the Tasty Freeze when the flavor of the night was lemon, or the thrill of shooting frogs with my cousins in a small farm pond in Missouri.
With my kids being so young, I started to wonder how they would remember the events of today. Probably, Nicolas and Isabelle will remember the snow today more than anything. I am hoping if we explain the historical significance of the day with Nicolas, and sit down with him tonight to watch the recording of the inauguration, he may remember it.
• What will your kids or other loved one’s remember as the Magic Moments over the course of their lifetime?
• What are you doing to create those Magic Moments with them?
• What will they remember when they are 40, 50, or 80 years old?
• Will those Magic Moments be filled with happy emotional times that you have created or one’s that have just happened?
• How can you work to purposefully live and share a life of Magic Moments for everyone you come in contact with?
Every moment could be a significant moment that someone will rememberas significant for the rest of their life. And, you hold within yourself the ability to make it be one! I am sure that my Dad didn’t plan on taking me fishing that day in order for me to have a Magical Moment that I would remember 30 years later. I don’t know if he even remembers how good that lemon ice cream tasted that night we drove to the Tasty Freeze. I do know that I have told my Uncle Don one million “Thank You’s” for the Missouri farm pond trips. However, I doubt he ever knew the tremendous impact they would have for me in my life when he invited me to go.
What makes these such Magical Moments? When someone steps up to serve, give and share a moment in their life to create something special with and for someone else. If you look back over your life I am sure that you have many Magical Moments. As you look forward to your future, what kind of Magic Moments could you create? Every moment of life has the potential for a Magic Moment. America will continue to have Magical Moments of history. Those Magic Moments are what make a country great. I encourage you to create some Magic Moments for yourself and others also! It will be what makes your life Great too!
Have you ever been Wrong?
Have you ever been wrong?
Here in the subdivision we live in there is a very large fountain that welcomes visitors and residents into our neighborhood. My son Nicolas and I were out running the other day and as we approached the fountain I noticed it was not working. I made an offhand comment to Nicolas, something to the effect of, “That’s strange, they don’t have the fountain on today.” Quick as a whistle Nicolas said, “That’s OK Dad, I will make it come on in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…NOW! Look, its magic!” And, the fountain turned on!
There was another time during my military training where we had to qualify with our M-16’s. I had never qualified expert in any of our trainings and there were very few who were optimistic about their performance, or mine, on qualification day. This was largely due to the training regimen, sleep deprivation, and cold outdoor environment. It’s hard to shoot straight when you are shivering in 40 degree, rainy weather! As you could surmise, many of my colleagues were very competitive and there was a lot of posturing over who would score expert and who wouldn’t. When all was said and done I scored 39 hits out of 40, an Expert. It was the best I had ever shot. As I walked back and shared my news with the others in my squad most were in disbelief and thought I was joking. It even took me a while to believe I had could have, and did, perform so well.
Each of us possess beliefs we hold to be true that have been created or adopted from peers and society. I have to ask, “Have you ever been wrong?”
• What do others believe to be true about you and your life right now?
• What do you believe to be true about you and your life right now?
• What if you thought was true, was wrong?
Other peoples’ beliefs about you and what you are capable of achieving in life are not true. Whatever you or others think you are; you are more than that. Whatever you or others think you can achieve in life, you can achieve more than that. Other people’s beliefs do not determine your results, however, your beliefs do determine your results. Many times success in life comes by being one step ahead of the norms and beliefs that society holds to be true.
And, in the case of the fountain, since I had been looking down as Nicolas and I were running, I did not see that the fountain stopped half a second before I looked up. As a result, what I perceived to be right, was wrong. Many times in life our perceptions of what is true, are false.
The people who succeed in the next ten years and experience prosperity will be able to challenge what they and others believe to be right. What if now was the best time to invest, make money, and succeed? If you find yourself stuck with no way out, not believing in yourself, or surrounded by others who are sharing their doom and gloom, ask yourself, “Have I (or they) ever been wrong? What if they were?” There is amazing potential and opportunity waiting for you in life at this very moment. I hope your fountains overflow with wealth, prosperity, faith and love this year!
Here in the subdivision we live in there is a very large fountain that welcomes visitors and residents into our neighborhood. My son Nicolas and I were out running the other day and as we approached the fountain I noticed it was not working. I made an offhand comment to Nicolas, something to the effect of, “That’s strange, they don’t have the fountain on today.” Quick as a whistle Nicolas said, “That’s OK Dad, I will make it come on in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…NOW! Look, its magic!” And, the fountain turned on!
There was another time during my military training where we had to qualify with our M-16’s. I had never qualified expert in any of our trainings and there were very few who were optimistic about their performance, or mine, on qualification day. This was largely due to the training regimen, sleep deprivation, and cold outdoor environment. It’s hard to shoot straight when you are shivering in 40 degree, rainy weather! As you could surmise, many of my colleagues were very competitive and there was a lot of posturing over who would score expert and who wouldn’t. When all was said and done I scored 39 hits out of 40, an Expert. It was the best I had ever shot. As I walked back and shared my news with the others in my squad most were in disbelief and thought I was joking. It even took me a while to believe I had could have, and did, perform so well.
Each of us possess beliefs we hold to be true that have been created or adopted from peers and society. I have to ask, “Have you ever been wrong?”
• What do others believe to be true about you and your life right now?
• What do you believe to be true about you and your life right now?
• What if you thought was true, was wrong?
Other peoples’ beliefs about you and what you are capable of achieving in life are not true. Whatever you or others think you are; you are more than that. Whatever you or others think you can achieve in life, you can achieve more than that. Other people’s beliefs do not determine your results, however, your beliefs do determine your results. Many times success in life comes by being one step ahead of the norms and beliefs that society holds to be true.
And, in the case of the fountain, since I had been looking down as Nicolas and I were running, I did not see that the fountain stopped half a second before I looked up. As a result, what I perceived to be right, was wrong. Many times in life our perceptions of what is true, are false.
The people who succeed in the next ten years and experience prosperity will be able to challenge what they and others believe to be right. What if now was the best time to invest, make money, and succeed? If you find yourself stuck with no way out, not believing in yourself, or surrounded by others who are sharing their doom and gloom, ask yourself, “Have I (or they) ever been wrong? What if they were?” There is amazing potential and opportunity waiting for you in life at this very moment. I hope your fountains overflow with wealth, prosperity, faith and love this year!
1/2/09
Play Head's Up in 2009!
Play Head’s Up in 2009!
During my Federal Law Enforcement Training one of the most important tools they taught us in self defense class was awareness. The best way to stay safe in any situation, day or night, was to be always be aware of your environment. The classic victim of violence is the person who is caught unaware. They are completely taken by surprise by their attacker and never see it coming. It is ironic that one of the best self defense tools isn’t marital arts, a weapon, or whistle, but simply “Keeping Your Head Up.”
The same principle applies in the fundamentals of basketball. One of the hardest skills for a youth to master when they begin playing is to dribble the basketball without looking down at it. Before a young player can have any court awareness they have to learn to dribble with their head up. Once they can dribble with one hand, “Keeping Their Head Up,” their skills almost double overnight. It is a small jump to dribbling a ball in both hands simultaneously, and their can passing, receiving and shooting skills are dramatically better. Their court awareness skills develop and suddenly instead of having five individual players on the court, the “team” develops as they play more cohesively. Of all of the slogans and saying I could have put on the gym bags I gave my team after winning the YMCA Valleywide Youth Basketball Tournament in Arizona was, “Keep Your Head Up.” It is a great life lesson to keep playing, “Heads Up Ball.”
As we look a little further into the concept of “Keeping Your Head Up,” let’s do a simple exercise. Dip your head down to your chest and notice what you feel. Slowly lift your head up and as your chin hits parallel with the ground notice the switch in emotion. As you keep lifting your head higher, notice how your shoulders drop and relax, slowly your posture straightens, you feel better, and more confident. Do the old sayings of, “Look forward towards your future, Lift your head up and rejoice,” and “Look towards a brighter tomorrow” carry a deeper meaning now?
I would ask that as you move into 2009, keep looking forward in anticipation of a brighter year than 2008. Put your shoulders back in a state of confidence and relaxation. Raise your game by building your skills and mastering this simple fundamental skill. It will raise your level of play in life and help you build exciting and more dynamic teams around you. You will not be a victim in life that is easily surprised or taken unaware but an individual who is alert, confident, and able to take advantage of opportunities that present themselves. No matter what your dreams, goals, hopes, and desires in 2009, “Keep Your Head Up!”
I wish you a New Year and a New Life this next year. Have a Peaceful, Powerful, and Prosperous 2009.
To your continued success,
James
During my Federal Law Enforcement Training one of the most important tools they taught us in self defense class was awareness. The best way to stay safe in any situation, day or night, was to be always be aware of your environment. The classic victim of violence is the person who is caught unaware. They are completely taken by surprise by their attacker and never see it coming. It is ironic that one of the best self defense tools isn’t marital arts, a weapon, or whistle, but simply “Keeping Your Head Up.”
The same principle applies in the fundamentals of basketball. One of the hardest skills for a youth to master when they begin playing is to dribble the basketball without looking down at it. Before a young player can have any court awareness they have to learn to dribble with their head up. Once they can dribble with one hand, “Keeping Their Head Up,” their skills almost double overnight. It is a small jump to dribbling a ball in both hands simultaneously, and their can passing, receiving and shooting skills are dramatically better. Their court awareness skills develop and suddenly instead of having five individual players on the court, the “team” develops as they play more cohesively. Of all of the slogans and saying I could have put on the gym bags I gave my team after winning the YMCA Valleywide Youth Basketball Tournament in Arizona was, “Keep Your Head Up.” It is a great life lesson to keep playing, “Heads Up Ball.”
As we look a little further into the concept of “Keeping Your Head Up,” let’s do a simple exercise. Dip your head down to your chest and notice what you feel. Slowly lift your head up and as your chin hits parallel with the ground notice the switch in emotion. As you keep lifting your head higher, notice how your shoulders drop and relax, slowly your posture straightens, you feel better, and more confident. Do the old sayings of, “Look forward towards your future, Lift your head up and rejoice,” and “Look towards a brighter tomorrow” carry a deeper meaning now?
I would ask that as you move into 2009, keep looking forward in anticipation of a brighter year than 2008. Put your shoulders back in a state of confidence and relaxation. Raise your game by building your skills and mastering this simple fundamental skill. It will raise your level of play in life and help you build exciting and more dynamic teams around you. You will not be a victim in life that is easily surprised or taken unaware but an individual who is alert, confident, and able to take advantage of opportunities that present themselves. No matter what your dreams, goals, hopes, and desires in 2009, “Keep Your Head Up!”
I wish you a New Year and a New Life this next year. Have a Peaceful, Powerful, and Prosperous 2009.
To your continued success,
James
12/24/08
Merry Relationship!
Merry Relationship!
Since it is Christmas, I am going to keep my Thought of the Week short. With all of the activities, family, cooking, and religious events coming up I understand you may be short on time. As we pull out all of the rituals of the season, whatever your religious beliefs are, I would ask that you keep two things in mind.
First, Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus, but why are we celebrating his birth? Perhaps as a reminder every year that Christmas is also about OUR Re-Birth. It is an opportunity for us to be born again and live in faith, born again in our beliefs, born again into love, peace, joy, and hope for a better tomorrow.
Second, Christmas is not about the traditions of Religion but your Relationship with God. The traditions have a purpose in supporting you to connect and develop a relationship with God, but if you don’t truly accept God in your heart, the traditions are really meaningless. I love church. I love the people at church. I love the songs, prayers, and messages about how to live a Godly life. I go out of my way to find and visit churches wherever we travel and always stop, say a prayer, and light a candle. I have prayed in the National Cathedral in New York City, in Notre Dame, listened to the monks chant at the Chapel at Mont-St.-Michel, prayed in the Chapel at St. Mere Eglise, in the National Cemeteries at Arlington and Normandy, the small church missions in California and even in a small little church right off of the beaches of Normandy, but the only place to truly find God is in your heart. God is not about a religious tradition but having a deep personal Relationship with him in your heart. It is the moments of prayer where you are deepening your relationship with him that are the most meaningful. They happen in the woods on a run, as you kiss your kids while they are sleeping, as you ask for help to overcome life’s challenges, as you say Grace at dinner, or as you go out of your way to share love from you heart with another.
I encourage you to accept God into your heart and remember to share that love with those you love most dearly this Holiday Season. I look forward to a dynamic, powerful, and prosperous 2009 for all of you.
An Old Irish Blessing for You this Christmas
May the road rise to meet you:
May the wind be always at your back,
The sun shine warm upon your face,
The rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
James
Since it is Christmas, I am going to keep my Thought of the Week short. With all of the activities, family, cooking, and religious events coming up I understand you may be short on time. As we pull out all of the rituals of the season, whatever your religious beliefs are, I would ask that you keep two things in mind.
First, Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus, but why are we celebrating his birth? Perhaps as a reminder every year that Christmas is also about OUR Re-Birth. It is an opportunity for us to be born again and live in faith, born again in our beliefs, born again into love, peace, joy, and hope for a better tomorrow.
Second, Christmas is not about the traditions of Religion but your Relationship with God. The traditions have a purpose in supporting you to connect and develop a relationship with God, but if you don’t truly accept God in your heart, the traditions are really meaningless. I love church. I love the people at church. I love the songs, prayers, and messages about how to live a Godly life. I go out of my way to find and visit churches wherever we travel and always stop, say a prayer, and light a candle. I have prayed in the National Cathedral in New York City, in Notre Dame, listened to the monks chant at the Chapel at Mont-St.-Michel, prayed in the Chapel at St. Mere Eglise, in the National Cemeteries at Arlington and Normandy, the small church missions in California and even in a small little church right off of the beaches of Normandy, but the only place to truly find God is in your heart. God is not about a religious tradition but having a deep personal Relationship with him in your heart. It is the moments of prayer where you are deepening your relationship with him that are the most meaningful. They happen in the woods on a run, as you kiss your kids while they are sleeping, as you ask for help to overcome life’s challenges, as you say Grace at dinner, or as you go out of your way to share love from you heart with another.
I encourage you to accept God into your heart and remember to share that love with those you love most dearly this Holiday Season. I look forward to a dynamic, powerful, and prosperous 2009 for all of you.
An Old Irish Blessing for You this Christmas
May the road rise to meet you:
May the wind be always at your back,
The sun shine warm upon your face,
The rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
James
12/12/08
How to save a Drowning Rat!
How to Save a Drowning Rat
Would you be interested in knowing “HOW” to save a drowning rat?
In today’s environment, there is not much positive news. The media seems intent on presenting everything noteworthy that is the opposite of empowering or positive. Even the Democrats are starting to bash our President Elect Obama and he isn’t officially in office yet.
I just read today about more unemployment and layoffs and these trends appear to be continuing into 2009. By now, you probably want to quit reading this and get back to the news - after all, it is more cheery than my Thought of the Week! My mood is becoming depressed just writing about this. However, I may have a suggestion that may help us all cope with the negativity, But how does this relate to saving a drowning rat?
There was an experiment conducted where scientists put a single rat in a container it could not get out of and then filled it with water. They placed the container in a completely dark room, and timed how long the rat swam before it drowned. How long do you think it swam? Well, it lasted a little more than 3 minutes.
For the second part of the experiment, they placed a rat in the same container in the same room with the same water level, but this time they had a bright beam of light shine into the darkness for the rat to see. Guess how long the rat lasted before it finally drowned? This time it swam for over 36 hours.
When I was in US Army Airborne School, the Army Chaplain said a prayer with us before we loaded up for our first parachute jump. He stated that we had nothing to worry about, as the jump field we were about to fly over was the most holy place in Georgia. According to the chaplain, more people prayed flying over that small piece of land than anywhere else in the state. He encouraged us to add our little part to the holiness of the jump field site.
In life, if someone wants the identity of being an honest person, they have to experience a moment where the opportunity to steal is present and choose not too. If you want to be a person who is able to find new opportunities as we work through the changes in our world right now, you are going to be tested. We are all being tested, NOW.
It is hope, faith, and optimism that keep us from giving up when things seem hopeless, that keep us believing in opportunity and the promise for a better tomorrow. That is what brings us through dark times when we feel like we are swimming for our very survival. That is what makes the difference between making it 3 minutes or 36 hours, 3 days or 36 days, 36 weeks or the next 36 years. A person of faith is such because they have been tested and overcome. That is what gives you the courage to jump into a new experience, be a person of character, and keep swimming when everything around you seems dark.
What is the beam of light that gives you hope, faith, and optimism? Now is the time, more than ever, to feed your mind positive messages, drop on your knees and say a prayer, do whatever you can that will strengthen your sense of faith and hope for a better tomorrow.
There are always two things we can focus on; the darkness or the light. Engage in finding new opportunities. Engage your mind in what is bright and good. In order to focus on the light we need to engage our sense of hope and faith in a better tomorrow. I know you can last a lot longer than you think. Keep Swimming.
To you continued success,
James
Would you be interested in knowing “HOW” to save a drowning rat?
In today’s environment, there is not much positive news. The media seems intent on presenting everything noteworthy that is the opposite of empowering or positive. Even the Democrats are starting to bash our President Elect Obama and he isn’t officially in office yet.
I just read today about more unemployment and layoffs and these trends appear to be continuing into 2009. By now, you probably want to quit reading this and get back to the news - after all, it is more cheery than my Thought of the Week! My mood is becoming depressed just writing about this. However, I may have a suggestion that may help us all cope with the negativity, But how does this relate to saving a drowning rat?
There was an experiment conducted where scientists put a single rat in a container it could not get out of and then filled it with water. They placed the container in a completely dark room, and timed how long the rat swam before it drowned. How long do you think it swam? Well, it lasted a little more than 3 minutes.
For the second part of the experiment, they placed a rat in the same container in the same room with the same water level, but this time they had a bright beam of light shine into the darkness for the rat to see. Guess how long the rat lasted before it finally drowned? This time it swam for over 36 hours.
When I was in US Army Airborne School, the Army Chaplain said a prayer with us before we loaded up for our first parachute jump. He stated that we had nothing to worry about, as the jump field we were about to fly over was the most holy place in Georgia. According to the chaplain, more people prayed flying over that small piece of land than anywhere else in the state. He encouraged us to add our little part to the holiness of the jump field site.
In life, if someone wants the identity of being an honest person, they have to experience a moment where the opportunity to steal is present and choose not too. If you want to be a person who is able to find new opportunities as we work through the changes in our world right now, you are going to be tested. We are all being tested, NOW.
It is hope, faith, and optimism that keep us from giving up when things seem hopeless, that keep us believing in opportunity and the promise for a better tomorrow. That is what brings us through dark times when we feel like we are swimming for our very survival. That is what makes the difference between making it 3 minutes or 36 hours, 3 days or 36 days, 36 weeks or the next 36 years. A person of faith is such because they have been tested and overcome. That is what gives you the courage to jump into a new experience, be a person of character, and keep swimming when everything around you seems dark.
What is the beam of light that gives you hope, faith, and optimism? Now is the time, more than ever, to feed your mind positive messages, drop on your knees and say a prayer, do whatever you can that will strengthen your sense of faith and hope for a better tomorrow.
There are always two things we can focus on; the darkness or the light. Engage in finding new opportunities. Engage your mind in what is bright and good. In order to focus on the light we need to engage our sense of hope and faith in a better tomorrow. I know you can last a lot longer than you think. Keep Swimming.
To you continued success,
James
12/3/08
Where's Waldo?
Do you remember those childhood games where you really had to use your mind in order to win? They were the games that you really didn’t like to play, but were the ones that your parents thought were good for you. Remember Memory, I Spy, and Where’s Waldo? As an adult and parent I now realize their importance, not only as games, but as a way of helping children look past what was presented and focus on what was meaningful to win. I pulled the following article off a very popular internet news site a little while ago. (Courtesy of Yahoo News)
“NBC is pulling the plug on "My Own Worst Enemy" and "Lipstick Jungle," two of its more high-profile young series, according to two network executives who spoke on condition of anonymity because they weren't authorized to speak publicly about the decision.”
You have heard that old saying many times, “It is not what a person says, but what they don’t say that is important.” What message did you take from the above paragraph? Go ahead and read it again. Where is Waldo in this example? What is the message that is really being conveyed? On the surface it could be that two shows are being cancelled. What is the deeper message that is sent? There are several messages that are not immediately obvious, but are interesting if we look below the surface.
• “Why are “two network executives” giving interviews when they are not authorized to speak publicly about the situation? What does that say for their level of personal integrity? What message does that send to the people they manage? What behaviors are they re-enforcing as “OK” by their actions and behaviors? How does that affect their business’s culture and workplace?
• What message is this reporter sending as he/she reports the leaked information from the network executives who are not supposed to be commenting? What are message are they sending to their readers about what is acceptable news? What ethics are they and the newspaper condoning in order to sell papers? How are they representing their industry to the public as providers of information?
• When you combine both the executives and the reporters together, what are they saying about what is considered healthy news for the general public? Is reportable news something that needs to show a lack of integrity from the source and the presenter? What is meaningful news for the readers? How does that shape the world as a whole by what they present as worthy news information? Does it empower or dis-empower the public during the current economic times?
My point is this, “Are you really aware of what is being presented to you every day through media, your relationships at work and your relationships at home?” Are the messages consistent with the level of ethics you aspire to? What standards in your life are you just accepting without a second thought? Be aware of what you are accepting to believe at truth.
If you are not happy, take a deeper look at what you are accepting as a standard for your life today. Do we have to be in a recession or could this be one of the greatest moments in life to invest in the market for your retirement long term? Did you know that more millionaires were born out of the depression than any other time in American history? “It was the best of times and the worst of times,” that is the first line from a very famous book. Stand guard at the doorway of your mind, for what you let in consciously and unconsciously, is what you will think and create for yourself. Be aware of it!
Change starts with you. Be aware of those situations where the underlying ethics are questionable – they won’t always be obvious! Focus on what represents integrity, goodness, and carries a positive meaning and impact for those it is presented to. The world needs it now more than ever before. Make sure that you tune into those channels of integrity for yourself and share with others. Broadcast happy moments of gratitude, love and joy. Find the opportunity in today’s world to be a source of inspiration to those around you. These times may test you, but the picture you consistently paint will end up being the masterpiece of your life. How will that help to change the world? Make the news you report on positive today!
“NBC is pulling the plug on "My Own Worst Enemy" and "Lipstick Jungle," two of its more high-profile young series, according to two network executives who spoke on condition of anonymity because they weren't authorized to speak publicly about the decision.”
You have heard that old saying many times, “It is not what a person says, but what they don’t say that is important.” What message did you take from the above paragraph? Go ahead and read it again. Where is Waldo in this example? What is the message that is really being conveyed? On the surface it could be that two shows are being cancelled. What is the deeper message that is sent? There are several messages that are not immediately obvious, but are interesting if we look below the surface.
• “Why are “two network executives” giving interviews when they are not authorized to speak publicly about the situation? What does that say for their level of personal integrity? What message does that send to the people they manage? What behaviors are they re-enforcing as “OK” by their actions and behaviors? How does that affect their business’s culture and workplace?
• What message is this reporter sending as he/she reports the leaked information from the network executives who are not supposed to be commenting? What are message are they sending to their readers about what is acceptable news? What ethics are they and the newspaper condoning in order to sell papers? How are they representing their industry to the public as providers of information?
• When you combine both the executives and the reporters together, what are they saying about what is considered healthy news for the general public? Is reportable news something that needs to show a lack of integrity from the source and the presenter? What is meaningful news for the readers? How does that shape the world as a whole by what they present as worthy news information? Does it empower or dis-empower the public during the current economic times?
My point is this, “Are you really aware of what is being presented to you every day through media, your relationships at work and your relationships at home?” Are the messages consistent with the level of ethics you aspire to? What standards in your life are you just accepting without a second thought? Be aware of what you are accepting to believe at truth.
If you are not happy, take a deeper look at what you are accepting as a standard for your life today. Do we have to be in a recession or could this be one of the greatest moments in life to invest in the market for your retirement long term? Did you know that more millionaires were born out of the depression than any other time in American history? “It was the best of times and the worst of times,” that is the first line from a very famous book. Stand guard at the doorway of your mind, for what you let in consciously and unconsciously, is what you will think and create for yourself. Be aware of it!
Change starts with you. Be aware of those situations where the underlying ethics are questionable – they won’t always be obvious! Focus on what represents integrity, goodness, and carries a positive meaning and impact for those it is presented to. The world needs it now more than ever before. Make sure that you tune into those channels of integrity for yourself and share with others. Broadcast happy moments of gratitude, love and joy. Find the opportunity in today’s world to be a source of inspiration to those around you. These times may test you, but the picture you consistently paint will end up being the masterpiece of your life. How will that help to change the world? Make the news you report on positive today!
11/24/08
Givingthanks for Thanksgiving
Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving is still a few days away but we already have our Christmas tree up. In fact, we decorated it two weekends ago. It’s up for two reasons; during the move we donated our old tree to save it the rigors of another move (at 15 years old it would have fallen apart anyway) and I had to unpack our new 9’ tree to get it in my car, so instead of repacking it, I set it up in our living room.
Having the Christmas tree up so early this year got me thinking about how Thanksgiving often gets overlooked in the pre-Christmas hustle and bustle. This is especially true this year, when the market is down and Wall Street is predicting a dismal economic holiday season. I read today that many companies are now having “pre-black Friday sales” to try and kick-start that holiday spending.
So what is Thanksgiving about? Many of us will sit around and follow the age old routine: travel to see family, those special women in our life cook all day, we sit and say grace, enjoy each others company, eat, eat, and eat some more, then the men retire to watch football while the women chat and clean up after a long day in the kitchen.
I want to focus on just one of the many aspects that are included in that stereotypical holiday scenario - saying “grace”. Whether you are thankful to your God or just expressing gratitude for the positive things that happened this year, I challenge you, don’t just give it lip service. Let me work to clarify my distinction – Have you ever found yourself saying grace for the things that you already have? Are they things that don’t really matter to you emotionally? Are you saying Grace for things you take for granted everyday, anyway?
The pilgrims gave thanks for the food they had because their lives’ very existence depended on the bounty of their crops. Food back then was not easy to obtain. Men had to go into the wild and hunt deer and turkey with bows and arrows or with a musket that had very little accuracy. Men walked for hours on end behind mules just to till the land, each seed was personally sewn and tended for months against the bad weather and pests. Wood was chopped and dried from the earliest days of spring until the first snows fell in order to have heat for the winter months. That is why Thanksgiving meant something to our ancestors – they were grateful for the things in life that ensured their very survival.
In today’s society there are not too many things that threaten our physical existence (barring diseases, many are brought on due to our sedentary lifestyles and things being so physically easy). However, there are many things in life that threaten our mental, emotional, and spiritual existence.
If you find yourself at the dinner table just saying, “Thank you for the food that we have.” How meaningful is that? A can of green beans costs $.89 and all you had to do was drive 5 minutes in your heated car to the store to get it. Compare that to the months of backbreaking work the pilgrims endured in order to get the equivalent, the effort expended isn’t anywhere near comparable.
While thinking about your grace this year, pick the most challenging area of your life to focus on. Pick one that your survival and existence depends upon: your job, your health, your career, your financial situation. Pick an area where if you do not keep tending to it over the next months by putting your heart, soul, and energy into it, you would perish because you would not have achieved what it takes to stay alive and have a meaningful life.
Let me give you an example. One of the things that I am going to be most thankful for this Thanksgiving, and it moves me emotionally just thinking about it, are my clients and the people I send these emails out to. Deep in my heart and soul I have been needing to write a book for the last 5 years. I have fought and struggled, written many, many outlines, jotted down topics and thoughts, but no book ever produced itself. If I do not write a book before I die, it will be one of my greatest regrets. This idea of a book is at the core of who I am and what would make my life meaningful. That dream and goal has been on my mind for a long, long time. In a sense, a part of me would be dead if I never wrote it.
I worked on a monthly email for about a year and a half and then quit because it was not working. About a year later, one day I opened MS Word and just started writing a “Thought”, which later became my “Thought of the Week”. I was uncertain if people would take the time to read them, think my insights were of value, or if they would help someone through a rough time. Over the last couple of months, I have received so much positive feedback - new people every week - commenting that one of my “Thoughts” had touched them. More than a dozen and a half people on my email distribution list stated that I should turn these into a book. With all of the half completed thoughts and outlines, perfectionist planning, and half hearted attempts at starting a book, I NEVER DREAMED these thoughts would have the potential to be used for that purpose. It was my clients and friends who showed me the path to making this dream become a reality. I am choked up just typing this. That is how meaningful you are to me. I could not see what was right in front of me, but you saw it for me. All of you reading this, right now, have helped me believe that I can achieve this dream of mine. As I look back on my blog, I already have over 40 “Thoughts of the Week.” It has also helped bring clarity to a second one that I want to put together.
Where is an area of your life where you are fighting to survive? Where does your life depend on you completing that special something? Where are you finding yourself desperately struggling to succeed? Pick something that is meaningful for you this Thanksgiving. Something you are so thankful for that when sharing it with your family and loved ones you get choked up and the tears form in your eyes. Reach down into the depths of your heart and soul, grab onto that dream you’re not sure you can achieve, and find a way to be thankful for the persons, the challenges, and the experiences that are going to help you to realize that dream. I will enjoy, and be very choked up, expressing my thankfulness for you while saying grace this Thanksgiving Day. You are counted among my deepest blessings. I thank God for you and your continued support, and I’ll be seeing you at the dinner table.
To your continued success,
James
*If you wish to opt-out of the “Thought of the Week” please hit the Reply button with “unsubscribe” in the subject line.
*Feel free to pass this on to family, friends, or loved ones who may need some support and inspiration in their life.
Check out previous “Thoughts of the Week” on my blog at www.evolutionforsuccess.com
For all of your hiring needs please check out my Sure Hire Behavioral Assessment link at www.surehirenow.com
James M Murphy
Evolution for Success, LLC
(919) 792-0085
Thanksgiving is still a few days away but we already have our Christmas tree up. In fact, we decorated it two weekends ago. It’s up for two reasons; during the move we donated our old tree to save it the rigors of another move (at 15 years old it would have fallen apart anyway) and I had to unpack our new 9’ tree to get it in my car, so instead of repacking it, I set it up in our living room.
Having the Christmas tree up so early this year got me thinking about how Thanksgiving often gets overlooked in the pre-Christmas hustle and bustle. This is especially true this year, when the market is down and Wall Street is predicting a dismal economic holiday season. I read today that many companies are now having “pre-black Friday sales” to try and kick-start that holiday spending.
So what is Thanksgiving about? Many of us will sit around and follow the age old routine: travel to see family, those special women in our life cook all day, we sit and say grace, enjoy each others company, eat, eat, and eat some more, then the men retire to watch football while the women chat and clean up after a long day in the kitchen.
I want to focus on just one of the many aspects that are included in that stereotypical holiday scenario - saying “grace”. Whether you are thankful to your God or just expressing gratitude for the positive things that happened this year, I challenge you, don’t just give it lip service. Let me work to clarify my distinction – Have you ever found yourself saying grace for the things that you already have? Are they things that don’t really matter to you emotionally? Are you saying Grace for things you take for granted everyday, anyway?
The pilgrims gave thanks for the food they had because their lives’ very existence depended on the bounty of their crops. Food back then was not easy to obtain. Men had to go into the wild and hunt deer and turkey with bows and arrows or with a musket that had very little accuracy. Men walked for hours on end behind mules just to till the land, each seed was personally sewn and tended for months against the bad weather and pests. Wood was chopped and dried from the earliest days of spring until the first snows fell in order to have heat for the winter months. That is why Thanksgiving meant something to our ancestors – they were grateful for the things in life that ensured their very survival.
In today’s society there are not too many things that threaten our physical existence (barring diseases, many are brought on due to our sedentary lifestyles and things being so physically easy). However, there are many things in life that threaten our mental, emotional, and spiritual existence.
If you find yourself at the dinner table just saying, “Thank you for the food that we have.” How meaningful is that? A can of green beans costs $.89 and all you had to do was drive 5 minutes in your heated car to the store to get it. Compare that to the months of backbreaking work the pilgrims endured in order to get the equivalent, the effort expended isn’t anywhere near comparable.
While thinking about your grace this year, pick the most challenging area of your life to focus on. Pick one that your survival and existence depends upon: your job, your health, your career, your financial situation. Pick an area where if you do not keep tending to it over the next months by putting your heart, soul, and energy into it, you would perish because you would not have achieved what it takes to stay alive and have a meaningful life.
Let me give you an example. One of the things that I am going to be most thankful for this Thanksgiving, and it moves me emotionally just thinking about it, are my clients and the people I send these emails out to. Deep in my heart and soul I have been needing to write a book for the last 5 years. I have fought and struggled, written many, many outlines, jotted down topics and thoughts, but no book ever produced itself. If I do not write a book before I die, it will be one of my greatest regrets. This idea of a book is at the core of who I am and what would make my life meaningful. That dream and goal has been on my mind for a long, long time. In a sense, a part of me would be dead if I never wrote it.
I worked on a monthly email for about a year and a half and then quit because it was not working. About a year later, one day I opened MS Word and just started writing a “Thought”, which later became my “Thought of the Week”. I was uncertain if people would take the time to read them, think my insights were of value, or if they would help someone through a rough time. Over the last couple of months, I have received so much positive feedback - new people every week - commenting that one of my “Thoughts” had touched them. More than a dozen and a half people on my email distribution list stated that I should turn these into a book. With all of the half completed thoughts and outlines, perfectionist planning, and half hearted attempts at starting a book, I NEVER DREAMED these thoughts would have the potential to be used for that purpose. It was my clients and friends who showed me the path to making this dream become a reality. I am choked up just typing this. That is how meaningful you are to me. I could not see what was right in front of me, but you saw it for me. All of you reading this, right now, have helped me believe that I can achieve this dream of mine. As I look back on my blog, I already have over 40 “Thoughts of the Week.” It has also helped bring clarity to a second one that I want to put together.
Where is an area of your life where you are fighting to survive? Where does your life depend on you completing that special something? Where are you finding yourself desperately struggling to succeed? Pick something that is meaningful for you this Thanksgiving. Something you are so thankful for that when sharing it with your family and loved ones you get choked up and the tears form in your eyes. Reach down into the depths of your heart and soul, grab onto that dream you’re not sure you can achieve, and find a way to be thankful for the persons, the challenges, and the experiences that are going to help you to realize that dream. I will enjoy, and be very choked up, expressing my thankfulness for you while saying grace this Thanksgiving Day. You are counted among my deepest blessings. I thank God for you and your continued support, and I’ll be seeing you at the dinner table.
To your continued success,
James
*If you wish to opt-out of the “Thought of the Week” please hit the Reply button with “unsubscribe” in the subject line.
*Feel free to pass this on to family, friends, or loved ones who may need some support and inspiration in their life.
Check out previous “Thoughts of the Week” on my blog at www.evolutionforsuccess.com
For all of your hiring needs please check out my Sure Hire Behavioral Assessment link at www.surehirenow.com
James M Murphy
Evolution for Success, LLC
(919) 792-0085
11/18/08
Watering the Lawn
Watering the Lawn
As many of you know, we recently relocated to North Carolina and purchased a new home. This past week, the landscape company came and laid sod in the front, back and side yards. Last night, I was watering the sod with the garden hose on the side of the house. It is very sloped so I was watering uphill as I slowly moved backwards down the hill.
It was interesting to watch the water as I doused the strips of sod – when I watered the middle of each piece, the water actually ran out of the middle, down the sides or in between the strips, onto the hard packed clay around the sides, then proceeded to run quickly downhill. It reminded me of skiing in the Rocky Mountains; if you roll a snowball down a ski slope it will always follow the path of least resistance, just like the water was.
Oddly enough, our brain does the same thing. Our brain does not like conflict and will always take the easy way out of tension and conflict. However, motivation comes from the tension and conflict that come from the gap between where we are now and where we want to be. What an interesting irony of life.
You have probably heard me say it before, but I think it bears repeating - when we set our goals in place we naturally set all of our obstacles in place also. The obstacles create patterns that engender tension and conflict in the following ways; mentally (our beliefs), emotionally (our feelings), physically (how we care for our body), and spiritually (our religious beliefs; engaging hope, faith, optimism, belief in the future). So, the brain will always take the path of least resistance to get us back to our comfort zone.
The irony about watering sod is that the grass does not need as much water in the middle as it does along the edges. The best way to water the sod is at the seams, the lines between the rolls of grass. It is at the boundaries that sod needs the most water, not deep in the middle. What a great lesson to take to heart in creating change in life. Sometimes, a person does not have to go deep down into the center of their psyche to clear up deep emotional things from the past. You don’t need to always take massive, life altering steps in order to enhance your life. Often, if you simply “water” around the edges more consistently, you’ll begin to see growth.
We generally speak with the same words, think the same thoughts, feel the same feelings, eat and drink the same foods, and engage our faith and spirituality in the same way everyday. By taking the small, peripheral steps of using better words, thinking better thoughts, feeling different feelings, making a healthier eating choice, or engaging a little more hope and faith in life, the results may seem small at first, but over time there will be exponentially large results.
These changes will alter your state and help you:
• Go from “I’m OK” to “Getting better by the moment,” to “OUTSTANDING!”
• Go from “I can’t do this!” to “I can do this if I just slow down, focus and take it a piece at a time.”
• Go from “I feel tired and crabby and need my coffee” to “I feel better and better as the day goes by as long as I keep my chin up and am productive.
• Go from “I love that Big Mac Supersize Value Meal” to “I choose to take the healthiest eating choice for me for this meal.”
• Go from “This will never happen, I don’t know what to do” to “I don’t need to know exactly how to achieve my goal, but as long as I engage in the most meaningful task I can think of right now, I’m going to have hope and faith that somehow I will achieve what I desire.”
If you do those things, your mind and your grass will stay green for a long time! So, water around the edges today!
If you need help watering the lawn inside your head, give me a call to set up your coaching session for Success. (919) 792-0085. CALL NOW!
As many of you know, we recently relocated to North Carolina and purchased a new home. This past week, the landscape company came and laid sod in the front, back and side yards. Last night, I was watering the sod with the garden hose on the side of the house. It is very sloped so I was watering uphill as I slowly moved backwards down the hill.
It was interesting to watch the water as I doused the strips of sod – when I watered the middle of each piece, the water actually ran out of the middle, down the sides or in between the strips, onto the hard packed clay around the sides, then proceeded to run quickly downhill. It reminded me of skiing in the Rocky Mountains; if you roll a snowball down a ski slope it will always follow the path of least resistance, just like the water was.
Oddly enough, our brain does the same thing. Our brain does not like conflict and will always take the easy way out of tension and conflict. However, motivation comes from the tension and conflict that come from the gap between where we are now and where we want to be. What an interesting irony of life.
You have probably heard me say it before, but I think it bears repeating - when we set our goals in place we naturally set all of our obstacles in place also. The obstacles create patterns that engender tension and conflict in the following ways; mentally (our beliefs), emotionally (our feelings), physically (how we care for our body), and spiritually (our religious beliefs; engaging hope, faith, optimism, belief in the future). So, the brain will always take the path of least resistance to get us back to our comfort zone.
The irony about watering sod is that the grass does not need as much water in the middle as it does along the edges. The best way to water the sod is at the seams, the lines between the rolls of grass. It is at the boundaries that sod needs the most water, not deep in the middle. What a great lesson to take to heart in creating change in life. Sometimes, a person does not have to go deep down into the center of their psyche to clear up deep emotional things from the past. You don’t need to always take massive, life altering steps in order to enhance your life. Often, if you simply “water” around the edges more consistently, you’ll begin to see growth.
We generally speak with the same words, think the same thoughts, feel the same feelings, eat and drink the same foods, and engage our faith and spirituality in the same way everyday. By taking the small, peripheral steps of using better words, thinking better thoughts, feeling different feelings, making a healthier eating choice, or engaging a little more hope and faith in life, the results may seem small at first, but over time there will be exponentially large results.
These changes will alter your state and help you:
• Go from “I’m OK” to “Getting better by the moment,” to “OUTSTANDING!”
• Go from “I can’t do this!” to “I can do this if I just slow down, focus and take it a piece at a time.”
• Go from “I feel tired and crabby and need my coffee” to “I feel better and better as the day goes by as long as I keep my chin up and am productive.
• Go from “I love that Big Mac Supersize Value Meal” to “I choose to take the healthiest eating choice for me for this meal.”
• Go from “This will never happen, I don’t know what to do” to “I don’t need to know exactly how to achieve my goal, but as long as I engage in the most meaningful task I can think of right now, I’m going to have hope and faith that somehow I will achieve what I desire.”
If you do those things, your mind and your grass will stay green for a long time! So, water around the edges today!
If you need help watering the lawn inside your head, give me a call to set up your coaching session for Success. (919) 792-0085. CALL NOW!
11/10/08
The Biggest Fan
The Biggest Fan
A few weeks ago, I found myself back at Iowa State University with my son and brother in law attending my first Cyclone football game since I had graduated in 1991. It was great to be back in my old stomping grounds and sharing the experience with my son. Standing amidst all of the alumni, hearing their comments and donation amounts; I was also aware of the intense pressure on the young men on the field to perform.
Nicolas is 13 and well aware of my criteria for what I consider a great sporting event: a high energy game that is close in score and my favorite team is always the underdog. This game matched those criteria perfectly.
When fourth quarter arrived and it had truly been a great game. It was high scoring, action packed, and we were rooting for the underdog, The Cyclones. We were two touchdowns behind with only seven or eight minutes left and played an onside kick. Everyone cheered like it was Iowa State’s possession but after the play review, it was Texas A&M’s ball. The crowd started to go crazy cheering whole heartedly against the referees. The stadium erupted with jeers and “BOO’ing!” Funny thing was, none of us actually saw the play. It was on the other side of the field, we did not have a good view, and at the games now they do not show most instant replays. (I guess that was a smart idea for moments just like this)!
What I found interesting was that my son got mixed up in the emotions and started, “Booing” also. I whispered in his ear that I loved his enthusiasm AND we did not see the play, there was no instant replay, and we should show some good sportsmanship. What happened next could not have made me more proud as a father.
Nicolas immediately stood up on the bench in front of us started cheering for the home team. While everyone else was “Booing” the referees, he was screaming at the top of his lungs, “Go Cyclones!” He stayed focused on giving support where support was needed, NOT in finding blame or fault to ease frustrations on us being behind in the game. For the rest of the game he never sat down. He stood on the bench, kept waving his towel, and cheering, “Go Cyclones!” As the minutes ticked down and the alumni, students, and spectators left their team still playing on the field, he stayed and cheered on his team. That is a true fan.
In that moment, I put myself on the field with those players. They had probably played ball since they were 4 or 5 years old, dedicated their life to football, conditioned their mind, body and emotional spirit to play collegiate sports, were out there giving it all they had, the blood, sweat and tears, and the people they represented, the people they counted on for support when the times are tough, were leaving them when they needed them most. None of those players on the field ever quit, even when most of the fans did. My son never quit cheering even when he would cheer, “Go Cyclones,” the alumni behind us would say, “Suck” after him. We stayed with the players on the field and cheered until the game was over.
Afterwards, Nicolas got some interesting compliments. Some people stated: “He must be a new fan because he hasn’t figured out that we lose every game, He sure has a lot of energy, He will learn eventually.” But in the next game, when the going gets tough, by Nicolas stepping up as he did and impacting the people around us, I think they are going to miss him a lot! I left the game a very proud father.
What a great psychology lesson in all of this. How often do we give up on something we want to achieve before the game is really over? How many times do we fail to support others in the pursuit of their goals when they need us the most? How often do we give up supporting others because we are looking for their success to make us happy and when we assume they won’t or they don’t achieve their goals we turn our backs on them? How often do we base our happiness on others success instead of our own? How often do we commit ourselves 100% in the pursuit of a goal until the very end? How often do we give up on others and ourselves before the clock runs out?
This experience brings to mind a great quote:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Whether you are in the game as a player or as a Fan remember you are always playing in some sort of game. Most people only saw the game on the field. I saw the game in the stands as a fan also. In the game of your life the clock is still ticking so keep on playing until the very last second. Never give up. Be sure to be a great fan of others also. Cheer for them and support them in the pursuit of their goals no matter if they win or if they fail. Don’t base your happiness on others successes, if you are, that means that you are just a spectator and need to get back engaged in your own game. Remember to walk a mile in other peoples’ shoes before you turn and walk away. Never stop believing in the greatness each of possesses individually or as a team.
Always believe, Always Hope, Always Dream! Never Give Up, and Never Walk Away! Stay Engaged in the Game of Life.
If you need to get engaged in the game of life and you are blaming the economy, the people on your team, and giving up, Step up now and CALL NOW to get back in the game. (919) 792-0085!
A few weeks ago, I found myself back at Iowa State University with my son and brother in law attending my first Cyclone football game since I had graduated in 1991. It was great to be back in my old stomping grounds and sharing the experience with my son. Standing amidst all of the alumni, hearing their comments and donation amounts; I was also aware of the intense pressure on the young men on the field to perform.
Nicolas is 13 and well aware of my criteria for what I consider a great sporting event: a high energy game that is close in score and my favorite team is always the underdog. This game matched those criteria perfectly.
When fourth quarter arrived and it had truly been a great game. It was high scoring, action packed, and we were rooting for the underdog, The Cyclones. We were two touchdowns behind with only seven or eight minutes left and played an onside kick. Everyone cheered like it was Iowa State’s possession but after the play review, it was Texas A&M’s ball. The crowd started to go crazy cheering whole heartedly against the referees. The stadium erupted with jeers and “BOO’ing!” Funny thing was, none of us actually saw the play. It was on the other side of the field, we did not have a good view, and at the games now they do not show most instant replays. (I guess that was a smart idea for moments just like this)!
What I found interesting was that my son got mixed up in the emotions and started, “Booing” also. I whispered in his ear that I loved his enthusiasm AND we did not see the play, there was no instant replay, and we should show some good sportsmanship. What happened next could not have made me more proud as a father.
Nicolas immediately stood up on the bench in front of us started cheering for the home team. While everyone else was “Booing” the referees, he was screaming at the top of his lungs, “Go Cyclones!” He stayed focused on giving support where support was needed, NOT in finding blame or fault to ease frustrations on us being behind in the game. For the rest of the game he never sat down. He stood on the bench, kept waving his towel, and cheering, “Go Cyclones!” As the minutes ticked down and the alumni, students, and spectators left their team still playing on the field, he stayed and cheered on his team. That is a true fan.
In that moment, I put myself on the field with those players. They had probably played ball since they were 4 or 5 years old, dedicated their life to football, conditioned their mind, body and emotional spirit to play collegiate sports, were out there giving it all they had, the blood, sweat and tears, and the people they represented, the people they counted on for support when the times are tough, were leaving them when they needed them most. None of those players on the field ever quit, even when most of the fans did. My son never quit cheering even when he would cheer, “Go Cyclones,” the alumni behind us would say, “Suck” after him. We stayed with the players on the field and cheered until the game was over.
Afterwards, Nicolas got some interesting compliments. Some people stated: “He must be a new fan because he hasn’t figured out that we lose every game, He sure has a lot of energy, He will learn eventually.” But in the next game, when the going gets tough, by Nicolas stepping up as he did and impacting the people around us, I think they are going to miss him a lot! I left the game a very proud father.
What a great psychology lesson in all of this. How often do we give up on something we want to achieve before the game is really over? How many times do we fail to support others in the pursuit of their goals when they need us the most? How often do we give up supporting others because we are looking for their success to make us happy and when we assume they won’t or they don’t achieve their goals we turn our backs on them? How often do we base our happiness on others success instead of our own? How often do we commit ourselves 100% in the pursuit of a goal until the very end? How often do we give up on others and ourselves before the clock runs out?
This experience brings to mind a great quote:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Whether you are in the game as a player or as a Fan remember you are always playing in some sort of game. Most people only saw the game on the field. I saw the game in the stands as a fan also. In the game of your life the clock is still ticking so keep on playing until the very last second. Never give up. Be sure to be a great fan of others also. Cheer for them and support them in the pursuit of their goals no matter if they win or if they fail. Don’t base your happiness on others successes, if you are, that means that you are just a spectator and need to get back engaged in your own game. Remember to walk a mile in other peoples’ shoes before you turn and walk away. Never stop believing in the greatness each of possesses individually or as a team.
Always believe, Always Hope, Always Dream! Never Give Up, and Never Walk Away! Stay Engaged in the Game of Life.
If you need to get engaged in the game of life and you are blaming the economy, the people on your team, and giving up, Step up now and CALL NOW to get back in the game. (919) 792-0085!
11/4/08
Thank you for being you!
Thank you for being you!
I had the most wonderful compliment given to me the other day. At the end of a personal coaching session, one of my favorite clients told me, “Thank you for being you.” My instant response was, “You’re welcome, I tried for many years to not be me and it really didn’t work that well.”
We were both taken aback a little with my response. After a good laugh and a little reflection I was a surprised by the truth of my statement. How often do we not accept all of who we really are? How often do we run away from parts of us that we do not like, respect, or appreciate? The problem is the more you run away from them the larger they get, the stronger they become and the more they create problems in your life.
As part of my initial Tony Robbins training we went skydiving as a “coaching challenge – life experience.” There were a few coaches that day who despite all of our emotional training were absolutely petrified and were confident the first step would be their last. As we prepped for the experience and all came home safe there was a success strategy that everyone used.
That strategy consisted of identifying our fears, those parts of ourselves that scared us the most, got prepared with the best mental, emotional and physical tools possible, DECIDED WHAT WE WOULD LET DO OF WHEN WE JUMPED OUT THE DOOR AND WHAT THIS EXPERIENCE WOULD MEAN FOR US, got in the plane, faced our fears, took one big step into the unknown and prayed!
You will get the best out of life by employing that strategy with everything that you fear, procrastinate, or are not facing within yourself. I encourage you to identify those parts of you that are hard to accept, the parts you don’t want to be you, get prepared with the best tools you can, the most information you can, face that fear, take action to embrace it, and you will be delighted with the results. By your second, third, fourth jump, you will be a pro and will have established a new level of success in your life.
To paraphrase an old movie; embrace “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” within yourself, get prepared, and Jump with faith. Life is worth the experience and your first response to “Thank you for being you” will be, “You are welcome, it was my pleasure.”
To your continued success,
James
If you do not like who you see in the mirror each morning, Call NOW for your dynamic Coaching Session that will change your focus. You can smile at yourself everyday in the mirror and say, "Thank you for being you." (919) 792-0085!
I had the most wonderful compliment given to me the other day. At the end of a personal coaching session, one of my favorite clients told me, “Thank you for being you.” My instant response was, “You’re welcome, I tried for many years to not be me and it really didn’t work that well.”
We were both taken aback a little with my response. After a good laugh and a little reflection I was a surprised by the truth of my statement. How often do we not accept all of who we really are? How often do we run away from parts of us that we do not like, respect, or appreciate? The problem is the more you run away from them the larger they get, the stronger they become and the more they create problems in your life.
As part of my initial Tony Robbins training we went skydiving as a “coaching challenge – life experience.” There were a few coaches that day who despite all of our emotional training were absolutely petrified and were confident the first step would be their last. As we prepped for the experience and all came home safe there was a success strategy that everyone used.
That strategy consisted of identifying our fears, those parts of ourselves that scared us the most, got prepared with the best mental, emotional and physical tools possible, DECIDED WHAT WE WOULD LET DO OF WHEN WE JUMPED OUT THE DOOR AND WHAT THIS EXPERIENCE WOULD MEAN FOR US, got in the plane, faced our fears, took one big step into the unknown and prayed!
You will get the best out of life by employing that strategy with everything that you fear, procrastinate, or are not facing within yourself. I encourage you to identify those parts of you that are hard to accept, the parts you don’t want to be you, get prepared with the best tools you can, the most information you can, face that fear, take action to embrace it, and you will be delighted with the results. By your second, third, fourth jump, you will be a pro and will have established a new level of success in your life.
To paraphrase an old movie; embrace “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” within yourself, get prepared, and Jump with faith. Life is worth the experience and your first response to “Thank you for being you” will be, “You are welcome, it was my pleasure.”
To your continued success,
James
If you do not like who you see in the mirror each morning, Call NOW for your dynamic Coaching Session that will change your focus. You can smile at yourself everyday in the mirror and say, "Thank you for being you." (919) 792-0085!
Make them eat it!
Make them Eat It!
Richard Bandler, the father of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), once said that everything he learned about human behavior he learned from his dog. I thought that was a very peculiar statement until I took a dog training course in Coronado, CA.
Do you know what to do when being approached and/or bitten by a dog? There are two dramatically different strategies. Surprisingly in a moment of fear, we tend to react with the exact opposite behavior that would allow us to be successful during a dog attack. This is also how some people deal with their challenges in life.
What would be your first reaction if you were outside, a barking dog was running toward you, and it looked like it was going to attack? The normal reaction would be to turn around and run. Many times in life, when confronted with our problems, we turn around and run. However, all that does is encourage the dog to attack and in the end you usually get bitten. A better strategy is to turn sideways to the dog, freeze in place, and slowly put out your hand for the sniff test. Why? This behavior tells the dog that you are not a threat. It is not an aggressive stance. By taking a quarter turn away from the dog you are still looking at it but not facing it in an adversarial position.
Many of life’s problems only require us to stay put for a second, take a deep breath, turn a little to one side or the other, adjust our perceptions, and then slowly extend ourselves to the problem in order to find resolution.
However, if the dog continues to charge toward you and bites down on your arm, what then? What would you do? Panic and fear usually kick in and we try to pull away from the biting dog. Wrong idea! If you follow that instinct, instead of only getting a few puncture wounds from the teeth, you would end up ripping the flesh on your arm as you pull and jerk your arm away.
The appropriate strategy is to “Make him eat it!” If you move into the problem with aggressiveness and shove your arm deeper into the dog’s mouth, the dog will end up choking on your arm and have to release its hold on you. The energy you spend by giving the dog what he wants will actually cause the problem to stop. Many times, our problems are the same way. When we move into the problem, use the energy of it in an effective way to move through it, instead of pulling back. The problem loses its grip and you may find yourself free of the challenge.
As you think of the problems and challenges in your life, are you running away or pulling away from them? Remember, the first step is to just stop! No emotional state lasts forever. Turn sideways a little bit to see it from a different perspective. If the problems and challenges already have an emotional hold on you, STOP pulling away from them, take a deep breath and push forward with all of your might into it. You may find that the problem will lose its grip on you. You can set yourself free.
If you have problems that are biting you and you are pulling away, give me a call for a life changing Coaching Session. CALL NOW! (919) 792-0085
Richard Bandler, the father of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), once said that everything he learned about human behavior he learned from his dog. I thought that was a very peculiar statement until I took a dog training course in Coronado, CA.
Do you know what to do when being approached and/or bitten by a dog? There are two dramatically different strategies. Surprisingly in a moment of fear, we tend to react with the exact opposite behavior that would allow us to be successful during a dog attack. This is also how some people deal with their challenges in life.
What would be your first reaction if you were outside, a barking dog was running toward you, and it looked like it was going to attack? The normal reaction would be to turn around and run. Many times in life, when confronted with our problems, we turn around and run. However, all that does is encourage the dog to attack and in the end you usually get bitten. A better strategy is to turn sideways to the dog, freeze in place, and slowly put out your hand for the sniff test. Why? This behavior tells the dog that you are not a threat. It is not an aggressive stance. By taking a quarter turn away from the dog you are still looking at it but not facing it in an adversarial position.
Many of life’s problems only require us to stay put for a second, take a deep breath, turn a little to one side or the other, adjust our perceptions, and then slowly extend ourselves to the problem in order to find resolution.
However, if the dog continues to charge toward you and bites down on your arm, what then? What would you do? Panic and fear usually kick in and we try to pull away from the biting dog. Wrong idea! If you follow that instinct, instead of only getting a few puncture wounds from the teeth, you would end up ripping the flesh on your arm as you pull and jerk your arm away.
The appropriate strategy is to “Make him eat it!” If you move into the problem with aggressiveness and shove your arm deeper into the dog’s mouth, the dog will end up choking on your arm and have to release its hold on you. The energy you spend by giving the dog what he wants will actually cause the problem to stop. Many times, our problems are the same way. When we move into the problem, use the energy of it in an effective way to move through it, instead of pulling back. The problem loses its grip and you may find yourself free of the challenge.
As you think of the problems and challenges in your life, are you running away or pulling away from them? Remember, the first step is to just stop! No emotional state lasts forever. Turn sideways a little bit to see it from a different perspective. If the problems and challenges already have an emotional hold on you, STOP pulling away from them, take a deep breath and push forward with all of your might into it. You may find that the problem will lose its grip on you. You can set yourself free.
If you have problems that are biting you and you are pulling away, give me a call for a life changing Coaching Session. CALL NOW! (919) 792-0085
10/3/08
Don't Smash My Fruit!
Don’t Smash My Fruit!
My little one and I were at the grocery store the other day and had the most wonderful and frustrating experience. The gentleman in the produce section was courteous, helpful, and went out of his way to help us with our shopping. He gave my daughter a free banana and gave us a quick National Geographic lesson on how monkeys peel bananas upside down. (Yes, it was cool and really works!)
The young lady bagging our groceries provided us with the exact opposite experience. She was deep into a conversation with the cashier and as she reached out to place the bag of fruit into the cart she missed, and dropped it straight onto the floor! She picked it up and the next bag into the cart contained maple syrup, butter, and salsa. It landed right on top of my already bruised fruit! In my head I was screaming, “Don’t smash my fruit!”
I have to admit that “smashing my fruit” is a pet peeve of mine and this was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. So, keeping my emotions in check I stated, “Excuse me, next time could you please not put the heavy stuff on top of my fruit?” The bagger ended her conversation, turned a quarter turn away from me, folded her arms, stared at the floor and promptly ignored me. So, I stated again, “Excuse me ma’am, next time please don’t set the heavy stuff on the fruit, that bruises it.” The lady stayed turned away with no eye contact and stone cold silence. I was shocked at her ignoring me.
By the time I reached the car I was very emotionally charged. I was frustrated at the way I was treated as a customer and mad at myself for all of the times in the past I didn’t say anything when my fruit was smashed. As I slammed the trunk closed, all I could think was, “THEY SMASHED MY FRUIT!” At this point, I was feeling a healthy amount of internal conflict between the need to gain other’s acceptance and approval or the voice that said, “stick up for what you believe in, that was horrible customer service!”
It was a perfect moment for some deep change. In any heightened emotional moment if you find a way to resolve the conflict inside, new beliefs will be formed at a very deep level.
In that moment, I made a huge decision to interrupt my old pattern of behavior. I pushed away all of the old thoughts and beliefs that were running around in my head and marched directly to the customer service desk.
I approached the manager and proceeded to tell her what was on my mind, “I just wanted to let you know about my shopping experience today. I had the most wonderful experience with the gentleman in the produce department. He went above and beyond in his customer service. My checkout experience was the direct opposite. The lady bagging the groceries dropped my fruit on the floor and then smashed them again when she put the other heavy bags on top. When I asked her as politely as I could to please not put the heavy stuff on the fruit she completely ignored me, twice. I just wanted to give you some feedback on my shopping experience today.” The manager thanked me for my feedback and said that she would make a note of it.
My voice and body were shaking with emotion as I left the store. In that emotionally intense moment I was able to anchor in some new powerful beliefs.
First and foremost, act in integrity with yourself. If I would have said something the first time my fruit was smashed I wouldn’t have been in such an intense place.
Give feedback so that others can take responsibility for their actions. Love the person enough to give feedback in a non-threatening way by addressing the behavior, NOT THE PERSON. As long as it is done without anger or malicious intent, it is for the other person to take or leave. I do not know what came from the experience for her on her end but she was the one to take responsibility for her actions from there.
Next time someone smashes your fruit, I wish you continued success in acting with integrity and giving constructive feedback to others.
If you need some support because too many people are smashing your fruit, interrupt your pattern! Call TODAY for your evolution towards greater success. Commit to 3 or more coaching sessions in the month of October and/or order a Sure Hire Assessment and receive 10% off!
My little one and I were at the grocery store the other day and had the most wonderful and frustrating experience. The gentleman in the produce section was courteous, helpful, and went out of his way to help us with our shopping. He gave my daughter a free banana and gave us a quick National Geographic lesson on how monkeys peel bananas upside down. (Yes, it was cool and really works!)
The young lady bagging our groceries provided us with the exact opposite experience. She was deep into a conversation with the cashier and as she reached out to place the bag of fruit into the cart she missed, and dropped it straight onto the floor! She picked it up and the next bag into the cart contained maple syrup, butter, and salsa. It landed right on top of my already bruised fruit! In my head I was screaming, “Don’t smash my fruit!”
I have to admit that “smashing my fruit” is a pet peeve of mine and this was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. So, keeping my emotions in check I stated, “Excuse me, next time could you please not put the heavy stuff on top of my fruit?” The bagger ended her conversation, turned a quarter turn away from me, folded her arms, stared at the floor and promptly ignored me. So, I stated again, “Excuse me ma’am, next time please don’t set the heavy stuff on the fruit, that bruises it.” The lady stayed turned away with no eye contact and stone cold silence. I was shocked at her ignoring me.
By the time I reached the car I was very emotionally charged. I was frustrated at the way I was treated as a customer and mad at myself for all of the times in the past I didn’t say anything when my fruit was smashed. As I slammed the trunk closed, all I could think was, “THEY SMASHED MY FRUIT!” At this point, I was feeling a healthy amount of internal conflict between the need to gain other’s acceptance and approval or the voice that said, “stick up for what you believe in, that was horrible customer service!”
It was a perfect moment for some deep change. In any heightened emotional moment if you find a way to resolve the conflict inside, new beliefs will be formed at a very deep level.
In that moment, I made a huge decision to interrupt my old pattern of behavior. I pushed away all of the old thoughts and beliefs that were running around in my head and marched directly to the customer service desk.
I approached the manager and proceeded to tell her what was on my mind, “I just wanted to let you know about my shopping experience today. I had the most wonderful experience with the gentleman in the produce department. He went above and beyond in his customer service. My checkout experience was the direct opposite. The lady bagging the groceries dropped my fruit on the floor and then smashed them again when she put the other heavy bags on top. When I asked her as politely as I could to please not put the heavy stuff on the fruit she completely ignored me, twice. I just wanted to give you some feedback on my shopping experience today.” The manager thanked me for my feedback and said that she would make a note of it.
My voice and body were shaking with emotion as I left the store. In that emotionally intense moment I was able to anchor in some new powerful beliefs.
First and foremost, act in integrity with yourself. If I would have said something the first time my fruit was smashed I wouldn’t have been in such an intense place.
Give feedback so that others can take responsibility for their actions. Love the person enough to give feedback in a non-threatening way by addressing the behavior, NOT THE PERSON. As long as it is done without anger or malicious intent, it is for the other person to take or leave. I do not know what came from the experience for her on her end but she was the one to take responsibility for her actions from there.
Next time someone smashes your fruit, I wish you continued success in acting with integrity and giving constructive feedback to others.
If you need some support because too many people are smashing your fruit, interrupt your pattern! Call TODAY for your evolution towards greater success. Commit to 3 or more coaching sessions in the month of October and/or order a Sure Hire Assessment and receive 10% off!
Developing a plan!
Stop Thinking!
Many times in life we think about something that we would love to achieve or accomplish and then immediately talk ourselves out of it because the first thing that comes to mind is, “…but I don’t know how I will ever be able to do it.”
Most people take a great amount of certainty and security from “developing a plan” to achieve their goals. I am sure that you have heard the saying, “If you are failing to plan then you are planning to fail.” Waiting to take action until you have developed a plan sets up a perfect behavioral pattern for procrastination.
Many of the most fulfilling and rewarding goals I have achieved in life came from taking a bold, immediate action before I had a plan in place. Let me give you some examples:
• In 2007, I wanted to take a family trip to the Bahamas to visit friends, swim with dolphins and dive with sharks. Instead of waiting until I had the trip planned financially and logistically, I took the money I had saved and purchased the plane tickets. I had no clue how I was going to manage the time off work, get the family scuba certified, or make the rest of the money that would be needed for lodging. I let those parts of the plan develop after I made that first commitment. It was some great motivation to develop the plan and get it moving. We had a once-in-a-lifetime trip full of amazing memories.
• In June 2007, I had a goal to move to North Carolina. With the Phoenix housing market going downhill fast, I had to drop my tentative plan to sell my house and immediately put it up for sale. My final plan ended up including a double move with a 3 month stay in Colorado for a summer. One year later we closed on our new home in NC. If I hadn’t taken that first leap of faith, I might still be in Phoenix.
• In the back of my mind I have had a desire to run a 100 mile ultra-marathon this year since I just turned 40. You could call it the answer to my mid-life crisis. Instead of mapping out the six month training plan, core strength program, and eating regiment, I found a race that fit my needs, applied, and was accepted as one of the 250 runners of the race. Now, I have huge incentive and motivation to get my plan in place and have started running again. Wish me luck!
After you set your goals in life, sometimes it is best to sail to the new coast, burn your ship and then develop the rest of the plan on the fly. I understand this will cause a great amount of uncertainty, doubt, and fear. However, those emotions can be converted into actions and planning that will lead you to the desired end result.
If you are stuck in any of your goals, I urge you to find a way to put down the need to plan and instead take an immediate action that commits you to your goal. It is the immediate action that provides the motivation, activities, and opportunities that help you to develop the plan.
Your mind will be flooded with questions like:
• How am I going to pay for that?
• How can I make this work?
• What am I going to see and do there?
• How will I spend my time?
“Take action towards your plan NOW and you will naturally discover what needs to be planned for in the future.”
If you need some support developing a plan and taking action TODAY! Call TODAY for your evolution towards greater success. Commit to 3 or more coaching sessions in the month of October and receive 10% off!
Many times in life we think about something that we would love to achieve or accomplish and then immediately talk ourselves out of it because the first thing that comes to mind is, “…but I don’t know how I will ever be able to do it.”
Most people take a great amount of certainty and security from “developing a plan” to achieve their goals. I am sure that you have heard the saying, “If you are failing to plan then you are planning to fail.” Waiting to take action until you have developed a plan sets up a perfect behavioral pattern for procrastination.
Many of the most fulfilling and rewarding goals I have achieved in life came from taking a bold, immediate action before I had a plan in place. Let me give you some examples:
• In 2007, I wanted to take a family trip to the Bahamas to visit friends, swim with dolphins and dive with sharks. Instead of waiting until I had the trip planned financially and logistically, I took the money I had saved and purchased the plane tickets. I had no clue how I was going to manage the time off work, get the family scuba certified, or make the rest of the money that would be needed for lodging. I let those parts of the plan develop after I made that first commitment. It was some great motivation to develop the plan and get it moving. We had a once-in-a-lifetime trip full of amazing memories.
• In June 2007, I had a goal to move to North Carolina. With the Phoenix housing market going downhill fast, I had to drop my tentative plan to sell my house and immediately put it up for sale. My final plan ended up including a double move with a 3 month stay in Colorado for a summer. One year later we closed on our new home in NC. If I hadn’t taken that first leap of faith, I might still be in Phoenix.
• In the back of my mind I have had a desire to run a 100 mile ultra-marathon this year since I just turned 40. You could call it the answer to my mid-life crisis. Instead of mapping out the six month training plan, core strength program, and eating regiment, I found a race that fit my needs, applied, and was accepted as one of the 250 runners of the race. Now, I have huge incentive and motivation to get my plan in place and have started running again. Wish me luck!
After you set your goals in life, sometimes it is best to sail to the new coast, burn your ship and then develop the rest of the plan on the fly. I understand this will cause a great amount of uncertainty, doubt, and fear. However, those emotions can be converted into actions and planning that will lead you to the desired end result.
If you are stuck in any of your goals, I urge you to find a way to put down the need to plan and instead take an immediate action that commits you to your goal. It is the immediate action that provides the motivation, activities, and opportunities that help you to develop the plan.
Your mind will be flooded with questions like:
• How am I going to pay for that?
• How can I make this work?
• What am I going to see and do there?
• How will I spend my time?
“Take action towards your plan NOW and you will naturally discover what needs to be planned for in the future.”
If you need some support developing a plan and taking action TODAY! Call TODAY for your evolution towards greater success. Commit to 3 or more coaching sessions in the month of October and receive 10% off!
8/29/08
Character Revealed
Character Revealed
It is often stated that true heroes in life, the people who perform spectacular feats in one perilous moment, are just normal people. That one perilous moment just allows the rest of the world to see their true character. Many times, they downplay their moments in the spotlight and prefer to remain anonymous.
How do you find and define character without a perilous moment? Is it having integrity? Is it found when you see someone totally committed to an impossible dream and they achieve it? Is it found when someone has a selfless act of courage that puts their life on the line for another?
I want to share a simple story of a man who exemplifies having character. Richard Munsen was born in Story City, IA 82 years ago. He is Norwegian by bloodline and went off to war in WWII, became a Captain of a B-17, and was shot down flying a mission over the Balkans in Croatia. With the help of the Partisan resistance, he and his crew evaded the Germans for 45 days and finally made it safely back to allied territory. He transitioned from his military service back to Story City, IA and co-owned and operated a Chevrolet dealership for the rest of his work career. I know of his life’s story because he is the grandfather of my son.
On a trip to visit Dick this month, as soon as I walked in the door he grabbed me by the arm and stated, “Come here, I have to show you something.” On a folding table in his living room was a puzzle that I had given her the previous Christmas. It was a WWII puzzle of the Normandy invasion.
As we sat down together to work on the puzzle that evening, I noticed several things. First, Dick has been having a sore knee lately and after a while, I could see that sitting at the table was beginning to be uncomfortable. Second, he his vision is challenged, in one eye he sees double and in the other he sees things raised about twice as high as the other. Fitting together pieces of a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle was certainly a worthy challenge with his eyesight challenges. Third, after 8 months of working on the puzzle he was proud as he could be with the progress made to date. The puzzle was only about 1/3 completed. He told me that some nights he can’t sleep and comes out to work in “a piece or two.” He consistently works on it just about everyday.
In that moment, I thought, “Wow, this is character. Many people would call his efforts an example of commitment, perseverance, dedication, or pursuit of achievement; but to me, it just signified personal “character.” Despite all of the physical challenges he was enduring, he still sits down everyday and works towards a worthy goal. He was keeping his mind active, alert, and practicing patience on the path to success.
How often do we miss the “character” that others show in their daily actions? How often do we overlook what makes people special? I have a tremendous amount of respect for Dick because he did such “heroic” things like becoming a pilot in WWII, evading the Germans for 45 days in the mountains of Yugoslavia, leading his men to safety, and taking on the entrepreneurial responsibilities of owning a successful Chevrolet dealership. What I respect the most is that at 82, he still shows the same character everyday that he has during his life as he works to fit one more piece of life’s puzzle together.
Find the hero in the people that you come in contact with today. They are exhibiting their character in many ways, if you just look for it. Appreciate their life experiences, how they have grown over the years, and keep a look out for the small things they do that reveal their true “character.” Everything you need in life to be inspired, to love, to experience gratitude, are right in front of you if you look for it. And remember to look at refining your own “character” so that you can continue to inspire others, as well.
If you wish to read more about Dick Munsen and his WWII experiences, please check out his website at: www.munsen.com
If you need some support in living a life with more “Character,” Call Now for a coaching session that will change your life.
(303) 681-3555
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It is often stated that true heroes in life, the people who perform spectacular feats in one perilous moment, are just normal people. That one perilous moment just allows the rest of the world to see their true character. Many times, they downplay their moments in the spotlight and prefer to remain anonymous.
How do you find and define character without a perilous moment? Is it having integrity? Is it found when you see someone totally committed to an impossible dream and they achieve it? Is it found when someone has a selfless act of courage that puts their life on the line for another?
I want to share a simple story of a man who exemplifies having character. Richard Munsen was born in Story City, IA 82 years ago. He is Norwegian by bloodline and went off to war in WWII, became a Captain of a B-17, and was shot down flying a mission over the Balkans in Croatia. With the help of the Partisan resistance, he and his crew evaded the Germans for 45 days and finally made it safely back to allied territory. He transitioned from his military service back to Story City, IA and co-owned and operated a Chevrolet dealership for the rest of his work career. I know of his life’s story because he is the grandfather of my son.
On a trip to visit Dick this month, as soon as I walked in the door he grabbed me by the arm and stated, “Come here, I have to show you something.” On a folding table in his living room was a puzzle that I had given her the previous Christmas. It was a WWII puzzle of the Normandy invasion.
As we sat down together to work on the puzzle that evening, I noticed several things. First, Dick has been having a sore knee lately and after a while, I could see that sitting at the table was beginning to be uncomfortable. Second, he his vision is challenged, in one eye he sees double and in the other he sees things raised about twice as high as the other. Fitting together pieces of a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle was certainly a worthy challenge with his eyesight challenges. Third, after 8 months of working on the puzzle he was proud as he could be with the progress made to date. The puzzle was only about 1/3 completed. He told me that some nights he can’t sleep and comes out to work in “a piece or two.” He consistently works on it just about everyday.
In that moment, I thought, “Wow, this is character. Many people would call his efforts an example of commitment, perseverance, dedication, or pursuit of achievement; but to me, it just signified personal “character.” Despite all of the physical challenges he was enduring, he still sits down everyday and works towards a worthy goal. He was keeping his mind active, alert, and practicing patience on the path to success.
How often do we miss the “character” that others show in their daily actions? How often do we overlook what makes people special? I have a tremendous amount of respect for Dick because he did such “heroic” things like becoming a pilot in WWII, evading the Germans for 45 days in the mountains of Yugoslavia, leading his men to safety, and taking on the entrepreneurial responsibilities of owning a successful Chevrolet dealership. What I respect the most is that at 82, he still shows the same character everyday that he has during his life as he works to fit one more piece of life’s puzzle together.
Find the hero in the people that you come in contact with today. They are exhibiting their character in many ways, if you just look for it. Appreciate their life experiences, how they have grown over the years, and keep a look out for the small things they do that reveal their true “character.” Everything you need in life to be inspired, to love, to experience gratitude, are right in front of you if you look for it. And remember to look at refining your own “character” so that you can continue to inspire others, as well.
If you wish to read more about Dick Munsen and his WWII experiences, please check out his website at: www.munsen.com
If you need some support in living a life with more “Character,” Call Now for a coaching session that will change your life.
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