What’s Right and What’s Legal?
Situation: You are driving down the highway in a car that is registered to your spouse. You know that traffic enforcement lights are up ahead so you consciously slow down. As a big truck passes you in the right hand lane (obviously speeding and annoyed because you slowed down) just as the speeding camera takes a picture. Someone is busted! Looking down you see that you are going 69 in a 65mph zone. You come home and tell your spouse you can’t believe that the guy in the truck was busted like that.
Fast forward three weeks and your spouse gets a letter of the car, clear pictures of you driving, and stating you were going 78mph. The notice is not a fine for your wife since she was not driving the car but since it was registered in her name she has 4 weeks to “turn in” under sworn statement who was driving.
What do you do?
A. Since you just moved, feign ignorance, not respond and see if they send a second notice? After all, it could have gotten lost in the mail and if you prolonged it for 3 months then you may get out of the ticket if you move out of state.
B. Ask your spouse to fill in that they do not know who was driving the car and lie under oath? After all, the car was totaled a few weeks earlier and we do not even have it anymore. How would they follow up anyway, we have different last names. The worst that could happen is her driving license is suspended.
C. Fill out the paperwork for your spouse and turn yourself in. Even though it is a total racket. The people who are contracted by the Scottsdale Police to run the camera system also have high priced lawyers so no one who ever fights a ticket wins, they split the proceeds 50-50 with the city of Scottsdale, and they run the driving school that everyone who gets a ticket must attend so that there are not points added onto your record with the insurance company that would make your premium go up. In essence, you pay the same company for the ticket and the driving school and the City of Scottsdale says believes that contracting out their law enforcement duties to a non-law enforcement entity who is double dipping from the tickets and driving school is legal.
Well, the answer for me was C. It was one of the toughest decisions that I made this year. Many times in life, what is morally, ethically, and legally right are in conflict. How do we sort out the difference? In the end, it does not matter who is right what matters most is “What is right by you?” Doing what is right is the hardest thing to do and it is also the most rewarding. Systems are not perfect, people are not perfect, and the world is not perfect.
The only way to get through is to ask, “What is truly right for me based on my principles, morals, ethics, and values?” The hardest part about answering that question is that most of the time what is right will end up inconveniencing you in the short run. I may very well have to pay $135 for the ticket, plus driving school, plus the 8 hours to take the course, and perhaps miss coaching one of my sons’ basketball games because of it.
There are benefits to inconveniencing yourself in order to do what is right. My wife is not stressing about what is going to happen to her wallet. My son sees a father who steps up and takes responsibility for his actions and does what is right even though he was mad as a hornet at an unjust system, disappointed in the fact that he was speeding and caught, and will end up missing one of the most important, rewarding and fulfilling hours of the week coaching basketball.
In the end, they have my money, my time, and less respect for this piece of our legal system. I still come out the winner because I have peace of mind as a husband and father, a deeper level of respect for myself, and I am looking forward to learning something new in the driving school.
Looking for the edge in making important decisions? Call NOW for your free 15-minute Personal Coaching Session. (480) 820-4072
2/18/08
Is Enough, Enough?
Is Enough, Enough?
Yesterday morning I found myself tired, exhausted, and in pain. After 4 hours or running, I had just passed mile marker 23 of the Lost Dutchman Marathon. On the edge of tears, pain shooting up my hip from running down a hill too fast at mile 12, my feet tingling with pinpricks of pain, I was staring at the “Dutchman’s Revenge,” a 500 foot vertical hill looming straight up in front of me. It was another obstacle to overcome.
“Wasn’t it enough? I had completed 23 miles. Wasn’t it enough? I just completed another marathon a month earlier? Wasn’t it enough? I had completed 6 other marathons and almost a dozen half marathons. Wasn’t it enough? I had logged over 600 training miles in the last 5 months? Wasn’t it enough? Wasn’t it enough already? Wasn’t it enough?”
It is during intense emotional moments that the true character of a person is revealed and they can find more of who they really are. All I wanted was to sit down, rest and walk the rest of the course. Who would care? Who would know? Only one person would know me.
Enough is never enough. People can not live on past emotional moments, when they do, life becomes flat, barren and void. Emotion dies. That is the problem with only living “in the moment.” Happiness is found when enough is never enough; something has to bring to a “moment.” Success in life can only be achieved if you put yourself in a place where you set huge goals with huge obstacles that will put you in emotional situations. This is where you come face to face with the deepest parts of who you are and redefine yourself. In that moment is a deeper, more intense connection with gratitude for life, faith to overcome obstacles, strength and inner confidence to achieve more, and the choice to define a more intense personal identity.
I came face to face with my pain, suffering, and self doubt. I understood that this deep painful moment was what I wanted. I had run 23 miles for this exact moment. This was the moment that I had been searching for all along! It was a defining moment for me. I chose to lift my head up to focus on the future, pushed through the pain, made a commitment to run those last few miles with all I had inside of me. I found more of myself in that moment, more of who I am, and more of all that I am blessed with in this life. I experienced one of the deepest levels of thankfulness and gratitude for all that I have in that moment. I reconnected with how I would use that to make a bigger impact in the lives others in selfless service knowing that I am a part of something so much larger than me. I forged a stronger identity for myself as a man, husband and father. I am a marathon runner, an achiever, a contributor to make other’s lives more meaningful and powerful. I am a marathon runner and running through the wall is what runners do.
Who are you going to become this week? If you need support in creating more magical moments in your life, call now for a free 15-minute “Jump-Start” session. (480) 820-4072
Yesterday morning I found myself tired, exhausted, and in pain. After 4 hours or running, I had just passed mile marker 23 of the Lost Dutchman Marathon. On the edge of tears, pain shooting up my hip from running down a hill too fast at mile 12, my feet tingling with pinpricks of pain, I was staring at the “Dutchman’s Revenge,” a 500 foot vertical hill looming straight up in front of me. It was another obstacle to overcome.
“Wasn’t it enough? I had completed 23 miles. Wasn’t it enough? I just completed another marathon a month earlier? Wasn’t it enough? I had completed 6 other marathons and almost a dozen half marathons. Wasn’t it enough? I had logged over 600 training miles in the last 5 months? Wasn’t it enough? Wasn’t it enough already? Wasn’t it enough?”
It is during intense emotional moments that the true character of a person is revealed and they can find more of who they really are. All I wanted was to sit down, rest and walk the rest of the course. Who would care? Who would know? Only one person would know me.
Enough is never enough. People can not live on past emotional moments, when they do, life becomes flat, barren and void. Emotion dies. That is the problem with only living “in the moment.” Happiness is found when enough is never enough; something has to bring to a “moment.” Success in life can only be achieved if you put yourself in a place where you set huge goals with huge obstacles that will put you in emotional situations. This is where you come face to face with the deepest parts of who you are and redefine yourself. In that moment is a deeper, more intense connection with gratitude for life, faith to overcome obstacles, strength and inner confidence to achieve more, and the choice to define a more intense personal identity.
I came face to face with my pain, suffering, and self doubt. I understood that this deep painful moment was what I wanted. I had run 23 miles for this exact moment. This was the moment that I had been searching for all along! It was a defining moment for me. I chose to lift my head up to focus on the future, pushed through the pain, made a commitment to run those last few miles with all I had inside of me. I found more of myself in that moment, more of who I am, and more of all that I am blessed with in this life. I experienced one of the deepest levels of thankfulness and gratitude for all that I have in that moment. I reconnected with how I would use that to make a bigger impact in the lives others in selfless service knowing that I am a part of something so much larger than me. I forged a stronger identity for myself as a man, husband and father. I am a marathon runner, an achiever, a contributor to make other’s lives more meaningful and powerful. I am a marathon runner and running through the wall is what runners do.
Who are you going to become this week? If you need support in creating more magical moments in your life, call now for a free 15-minute “Jump-Start” session. (480) 820-4072
2/12/08
Who is in Control?
Who is in Control?
Question: You choose to finish a job or task at work and feel a great sense of accomplishment afterwards, or you are walking down the street and all of a sudden you remember something and it makes you so sad: Are you in control of your emotions or are your emotions in control of you?
First off, we are in control of our emotional states. By CHOOSING to take a specific action, we CHOOSE the meaning of the event. For example, by choosing to go out walking this morning, I chose that walking would allow me to feel happy, energetic, alive and vibrant. A different person may choose to go walking and decide it meant pain, suffering, and frustration. We control out emotional states by the meaning that we attach to all of life’s experiences!
At the same time, there will always be external events that happen to us that will trigger unresolved emotional issues from the past. These unresolved issues grow over time and get larger and larger and larger. Negative emotional states are positive because they tell us where our emotions and rational thoughts are in conflict.
Our emotional states are in a constant tug of war. People work to have more positive intense emotional states (happiness, love, success) while negative emotional states (frustration, overwhelm, sadness) keep popping up, seemingly out of control.
In creating more positive emotional states remember: MOTION CREATES EMOTION. When you engage your mind and your body positive things happen! My personal drug of choice: Endorphins! So, put on those great songs, sing at the top of your lungs, be outrageous in your own way, move your body and create a stronger you with more physical movement.
In order to decrease the disempowering emotional moments:
1. Identify the negative emotion that is present (anger, frustration, sadness, etc.)
2. Ask: “What is there to learn from this, the learning of which will allow me to let go of these negative emotions easily and effortlessly?”
3. Once you understand the meaning and what there is to learn from it, CHOOSE TO TAKE AN IMMEDIATE ACTION AND DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT that will allow the better feelings to come out! (in this moment most people will not want to do something different because it is easier to stay in a negative emotional pattern, but the key to success is in taking an choosing a new action and meaning in order to break through the problem and let go of the negative emotion)
4. Celebrate your new meaning and action to anchor in the new state!
It is never too late to engage the process. Success happens when the amount of time it takes to clear up the conflict and move from disempowering states to positive ones decreases.
Celebrate all of your emotional states. Celebrate the ones that you choose to create for yourself and celebrate the ones that are triggered by your external environment. Find the reason for the state and take action to control your emotional life!
If you want more out of your emotional life, call today for your free 15 minute coaching session on how to create positive emotional states. Have a real life experience of it today! (480) 820-4072
To your continued success,
James
Question: You choose to finish a job or task at work and feel a great sense of accomplishment afterwards, or you are walking down the street and all of a sudden you remember something and it makes you so sad: Are you in control of your emotions or are your emotions in control of you?
First off, we are in control of our emotional states. By CHOOSING to take a specific action, we CHOOSE the meaning of the event. For example, by choosing to go out walking this morning, I chose that walking would allow me to feel happy, energetic, alive and vibrant. A different person may choose to go walking and decide it meant pain, suffering, and frustration. We control out emotional states by the meaning that we attach to all of life’s experiences!
At the same time, there will always be external events that happen to us that will trigger unresolved emotional issues from the past. These unresolved issues grow over time and get larger and larger and larger. Negative emotional states are positive because they tell us where our emotions and rational thoughts are in conflict.
Our emotional states are in a constant tug of war. People work to have more positive intense emotional states (happiness, love, success) while negative emotional states (frustration, overwhelm, sadness) keep popping up, seemingly out of control.
In creating more positive emotional states remember: MOTION CREATES EMOTION. When you engage your mind and your body positive things happen! My personal drug of choice: Endorphins! So, put on those great songs, sing at the top of your lungs, be outrageous in your own way, move your body and create a stronger you with more physical movement.
In order to decrease the disempowering emotional moments:
1. Identify the negative emotion that is present (anger, frustration, sadness, etc.)
2. Ask: “What is there to learn from this, the learning of which will allow me to let go of these negative emotions easily and effortlessly?”
3. Once you understand the meaning and what there is to learn from it, CHOOSE TO TAKE AN IMMEDIATE ACTION AND DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT that will allow the better feelings to come out! (in this moment most people will not want to do something different because it is easier to stay in a negative emotional pattern, but the key to success is in taking an choosing a new action and meaning in order to break through the problem and let go of the negative emotion)
4. Celebrate your new meaning and action to anchor in the new state!
It is never too late to engage the process. Success happens when the amount of time it takes to clear up the conflict and move from disempowering states to positive ones decreases.
Celebrate all of your emotional states. Celebrate the ones that you choose to create for yourself and celebrate the ones that are triggered by your external environment. Find the reason for the state and take action to control your emotional life!
If you want more out of your emotional life, call today for your free 15 minute coaching session on how to create positive emotional states. Have a real life experience of it today! (480) 820-4072
To your continued success,
James
2/5/08
The Problem with the Problem
What is the Problem with Your Problem?
Most of us forget that there is a problem that comes with most problems. It is a presupposition that we should not have the problem in the first place. In simpler terms, the problem with the problem is that you think that you should not be having a problem.
Do you really want what you are wishing for? Imagine a life with absolutely no problems. At first, it would be great, just like sitting on the beach for a day doing nothing. (That only feels good because we have been putting so much time into solving our problems and need a refresher from time to time) What about the second day, third day, fourth week of sitting on the beach with no problems? Suddenly, the absence of problems would be a problem and we would need to go and find something to do.
What is the purpose of a problem then? Fundamentally, we are either growing or dying. The problems that we encounter serve a very specific purpose. They give us insight into where we are incongruent between what we think and what we feel. There is a meaning, something to learn, from the problems that once we learn and take action on it, will create an even better quality of life for us.
It is our choice to find that more empowering meaning, embrace the learning(s) from it, and take action to change our life. That is what makes us a stronger person.
What is a current problem that you have today or this week? Be THANKFUL for your problems and ask yourself:
A. What is there for me to learn from this problem, that will make me a better person?
B. What can I learn from this that will allow me to let go of these negative emotions and create a more empowering future for myself?
C. What will I do different next time? ~or~ What is an action I can take right now to make things better?
D. How will this create a more empowering life for myself and the people that I love and care about today, tomorrow, in the future?
Consider it a pure joy, to face the trials and challenges of life. It is the testing of your human spirit that develops perseverance. Perseverance needs to happen in order for you to finish your tasks in order to feel complete and whole.
Most of us forget that there is a problem that comes with most problems. It is a presupposition that we should not have the problem in the first place. In simpler terms, the problem with the problem is that you think that you should not be having a problem.
Do you really want what you are wishing for? Imagine a life with absolutely no problems. At first, it would be great, just like sitting on the beach for a day doing nothing. (That only feels good because we have been putting so much time into solving our problems and need a refresher from time to time) What about the second day, third day, fourth week of sitting on the beach with no problems? Suddenly, the absence of problems would be a problem and we would need to go and find something to do.
What is the purpose of a problem then? Fundamentally, we are either growing or dying. The problems that we encounter serve a very specific purpose. They give us insight into where we are incongruent between what we think and what we feel. There is a meaning, something to learn, from the problems that once we learn and take action on it, will create an even better quality of life for us.
It is our choice to find that more empowering meaning, embrace the learning(s) from it, and take action to change our life. That is what makes us a stronger person.
What is a current problem that you have today or this week? Be THANKFUL for your problems and ask yourself:
A. What is there for me to learn from this problem, that will make me a better person?
B. What can I learn from this that will allow me to let go of these negative emotions and create a more empowering future for myself?
C. What will I do different next time? ~or~ What is an action I can take right now to make things better?
D. How will this create a more empowering life for myself and the people that I love and care about today, tomorrow, in the future?
Consider it a pure joy, to face the trials and challenges of life. It is the testing of your human spirit that develops perseverance. Perseverance needs to happen in order for you to finish your tasks in order to feel complete and whole.
1/28/08
How will you run your life this week?
How to Run Life This Week
How are you going to Run your life this week? There are many different runner types. If you were running the race of your life this week and came up to the traffic light that was red, how would you approach getting across the street? Would you:
A. Stop, rest, and wait for green light and then proceed?
B. Stop, jog in place, wait for the green light and then proceed?
C. Keep running once you get to the corner by stepping off of the curb, running in the bike lane into the oncoming traffic until there was an opening, cross into the middle of the street between both lanes of traffic and run back towards the intersection until there was a break in the oncoming traffic from the opposite direction, and then cross back over onto the curb on the opposite side of the street?
Each answer poses interesting looks into the psychology behind the choice. All are appropriate at different times based on a person’s ability to manage risk, stay focused on outcomes, and still enjoy the run.
Yesterday, I found myself putting off running because it was raining here in Arizona. I ended up running, choosing option C, and having one of the best runs of my life. How are you going to choose to run your life this week when you are faced with challenges? Will you stop and wait to take action until something changes, will you stop and pretend that what you doing is really making progress when it is not thereby distracting yourself, or will you take on the challenges headfirst by not stopping no matter what the obstacles are and arrive on the other side of the street with a greater sense of pride, confidence and achievement?
Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention…if you choose option A or B, who says that the light will change anytime soon…you may be waiting for a long time…Take Control of Your Life and Keep Running!
To your continued success,
James
How are you going to Run your life this week? There are many different runner types. If you were running the race of your life this week and came up to the traffic light that was red, how would you approach getting across the street? Would you:
A. Stop, rest, and wait for green light and then proceed?
B. Stop, jog in place, wait for the green light and then proceed?
C. Keep running once you get to the corner by stepping off of the curb, running in the bike lane into the oncoming traffic until there was an opening, cross into the middle of the street between both lanes of traffic and run back towards the intersection until there was a break in the oncoming traffic from the opposite direction, and then cross back over onto the curb on the opposite side of the street?
Each answer poses interesting looks into the psychology behind the choice. All are appropriate at different times based on a person’s ability to manage risk, stay focused on outcomes, and still enjoy the run.
Yesterday, I found myself putting off running because it was raining here in Arizona. I ended up running, choosing option C, and having one of the best runs of my life. How are you going to choose to run your life this week when you are faced with challenges? Will you stop and wait to take action until something changes, will you stop and pretend that what you doing is really making progress when it is not thereby distracting yourself, or will you take on the challenges headfirst by not stopping no matter what the obstacles are and arrive on the other side of the street with a greater sense of pride, confidence and achievement?
Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention…if you choose option A or B, who says that the light will change anytime soon…you may be waiting for a long time…Take Control of Your Life and Keep Running!
To your continued success,
James
4/20/07
Is Life a Bumpy Ride?
by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
You know the truth of where you are now, you have defined your purpose in life, so what is next? The process to setting goals is simple, easy and effective. The process needs to happen at least six times. Why are we setting goals? We set goals to have a balanced life. You are the one who gets to define what Balance is for you. Balance in life consists of putting focus into 6 main categories.
The six categories that define a balanced life are: Health, Relationships, Career, Finances, Religion/Faith/Spirituality, and Personal Emotional Health. A person may expand or consolidate a few categories. I personally have two Career categories and have combined my Religion/Faith/Spirituality and Personal Emotional Health categories into one single category.
Here is a great coaching exercise to give you some perspective. Draw a circle and divide it into 6 areas (like cutting a pie or pizza). The center of the circle represents a level zero and the outside circumference of the circle represents a level ten. Rate each area on a scale of zero to ten (zero is not fulfilled at all, ten is it can’t get any better). Take the number and fill in the piece of pie from the inside towards the outside to whatever level of fulfillment that you rated yourself. For example, if you are at zero you would not fill in anything, at a level 10 you would fill in the whole piece of pie, at a level 5 you would come out halfway, draw a line and fill in the piece of pie half way out from the center to the outside). Complete the process for all six categories.
Now, if this was a wheel on your car of life would you have a smooth ride or would it be bumpy as could be? Life should be in balance. It does not matter is you are balanced at a three, five, eight or ten. If you are at a ten in career and a zero in health there is a great coaching opportunity. We are only as strong as our weakest category. However, that does not mean that we have to have every piece of the pie be equal in size. Remember that every time you cut a pizza you will never be able to cut all of the pieces exactly the same size. For some, Career is a greater piece, others Health and others Relationships. The key is that they are all present and combine in a way to make a full balanced life.
Our goals should collectively bring balance to all areas of our lives to reduce conflict, increase motivation and give us more energy to create more in life and enjoy where we are at the same time.
Are you driving down the highway with a really bouncy ride? Give me a call at (480) 820-4072 take your life to the next level of success.
To our continued success,
James
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
You know the truth of where you are now, you have defined your purpose in life, so what is next? The process to setting goals is simple, easy and effective. The process needs to happen at least six times. Why are we setting goals? We set goals to have a balanced life. You are the one who gets to define what Balance is for you. Balance in life consists of putting focus into 6 main categories.
The six categories that define a balanced life are: Health, Relationships, Career, Finances, Religion/Faith/Spirituality, and Personal Emotional Health. A person may expand or consolidate a few categories. I personally have two Career categories and have combined my Religion/Faith/Spirituality and Personal Emotional Health categories into one single category.
Here is a great coaching exercise to give you some perspective. Draw a circle and divide it into 6 areas (like cutting a pie or pizza). The center of the circle represents a level zero and the outside circumference of the circle represents a level ten. Rate each area on a scale of zero to ten (zero is not fulfilled at all, ten is it can’t get any better). Take the number and fill in the piece of pie from the inside towards the outside to whatever level of fulfillment that you rated yourself. For example, if you are at zero you would not fill in anything, at a level 10 you would fill in the whole piece of pie, at a level 5 you would come out halfway, draw a line and fill in the piece of pie half way out from the center to the outside). Complete the process for all six categories.
Now, if this was a wheel on your car of life would you have a smooth ride or would it be bumpy as could be? Life should be in balance. It does not matter is you are balanced at a three, five, eight or ten. If you are at a ten in career and a zero in health there is a great coaching opportunity. We are only as strong as our weakest category. However, that does not mean that we have to have every piece of the pie be equal in size. Remember that every time you cut a pizza you will never be able to cut all of the pieces exactly the same size. For some, Career is a greater piece, others Health and others Relationships. The key is that they are all present and combine in a way to make a full balanced life.
Our goals should collectively bring balance to all areas of our lives to reduce conflict, increase motivation and give us more energy to create more in life and enjoy where we are at the same time.
Are you driving down the highway with a really bouncy ride? Give me a call at (480) 820-4072 take your life to the next level of success.
To our continued success,
James
4/18/07
A Statement of Purpose
by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
The first step towards success is defining the “truth” of where you are in your life. The second step for success is to define what your life represents. A person needs to define the purpose of their life in order to stay motivated and overcome the obstacles in life.
A purpose statement in life is built of three main components: the opening phrase, the statement for self, and the statement for others. An example would be, “The purpose of my life is to nurture myself and grow and create positive change in the world.”
The first component is the opening phrase of the statement, “The purpose of my life is to continue to…” The language is important because it needs to imply, or presuppose, that we already have an internal frame of reference for what knowing our purpose. You have an unconscious frame of reference somewhere in your mind that defines what your life purpose is and we want to tap into it. After all, after all, how would you know you want it if you have never had it before? Another example of an opening statement would be, “The purpose of my life is to experience more…” Accessing or creating the previous frame of reference in our subconscious mind is important.
The second component is all about YOU, it MUST be about you. A person who turns the other cheek without a strong internal compass is a coward. Someone who turns the other cheek and stands firm in the knowledge of who they are and what their life is about is courageous, strong, confident and someone people respect and follow. Your actions must always mean something to you and meet your internal needs. So, what is your core issue? What is the greatest thing that you have ever had to overcome in your life? I was three pounds when I was born, the doctor thought that I would not live, didn’t come home from the hospital for 3 months, and never felt like I bonded with my mother. As I moved through my healing process, I realized that it was unfair of me as a grown adult to keep looking to my mother be nurtured. Further more, it was really a disservice to myself and to my mother to keep using that experience as an excuse to not have the levels of success that I wanted in my life. I needed to take responsibility myself to “nurture myself and grow”.
The third component is all about how I make a difference in the world when I do “nurture myself and grow.” How do I show up and make a difference when I can confidently turn the other cheek. Life is really not about us and the greatest people in the world know this. You see it in the faces of the people who change the world, Pope John Paul II, Mother Theresa, and Nelson Mandela. When I am learning, growing and nurturing myself I am able to give to others at a capacity that is never ending. I verbalize the impact on the world when I live this way as, “creating positive change in the world.” At one time it was “blanket the world with my love.” However, I found a more specific and meaningful way to express what I am truly about.
There are the three components of a great Purpose Statement the opening phrase, the statement for self, and the statement for others. The reason for covering this material is that our goals and dreams need to be congruent with our Purpose Statement. If a person sets goals that are not congruent with their purpose the levels of motivation that they experience are seriously diminished.
Purpose statements may also change as we change. My new purpose statement is, “The purpose of my life is have an even more balanced, health, and fit life today in order to apply my knowledge and help others create more empowering lives.”
If you want to support in defining your Purpose Statement give me a call at (480) 820-4072 and find out how to take your life to the next level of success.
To our continued success,
James
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
The first step towards success is defining the “truth” of where you are in your life. The second step for success is to define what your life represents. A person needs to define the purpose of their life in order to stay motivated and overcome the obstacles in life.
A purpose statement in life is built of three main components: the opening phrase, the statement for self, and the statement for others. An example would be, “The purpose of my life is to nurture myself and grow and create positive change in the world.”
The first component is the opening phrase of the statement, “The purpose of my life is to continue to…” The language is important because it needs to imply, or presuppose, that we already have an internal frame of reference for what knowing our purpose. You have an unconscious frame of reference somewhere in your mind that defines what your life purpose is and we want to tap into it. After all, after all, how would you know you want it if you have never had it before? Another example of an opening statement would be, “The purpose of my life is to experience more…” Accessing or creating the previous frame of reference in our subconscious mind is important.
The second component is all about YOU, it MUST be about you. A person who turns the other cheek without a strong internal compass is a coward. Someone who turns the other cheek and stands firm in the knowledge of who they are and what their life is about is courageous, strong, confident and someone people respect and follow. Your actions must always mean something to you and meet your internal needs. So, what is your core issue? What is the greatest thing that you have ever had to overcome in your life? I was three pounds when I was born, the doctor thought that I would not live, didn’t come home from the hospital for 3 months, and never felt like I bonded with my mother. As I moved through my healing process, I realized that it was unfair of me as a grown adult to keep looking to my mother be nurtured. Further more, it was really a disservice to myself and to my mother to keep using that experience as an excuse to not have the levels of success that I wanted in my life. I needed to take responsibility myself to “nurture myself and grow”.
The third component is all about how I make a difference in the world when I do “nurture myself and grow.” How do I show up and make a difference when I can confidently turn the other cheek. Life is really not about us and the greatest people in the world know this. You see it in the faces of the people who change the world, Pope John Paul II, Mother Theresa, and Nelson Mandela. When I am learning, growing and nurturing myself I am able to give to others at a capacity that is never ending. I verbalize the impact on the world when I live this way as, “creating positive change in the world.” At one time it was “blanket the world with my love.” However, I found a more specific and meaningful way to express what I am truly about.
There are the three components of a great Purpose Statement the opening phrase, the statement for self, and the statement for others. The reason for covering this material is that our goals and dreams need to be congruent with our Purpose Statement. If a person sets goals that are not congruent with their purpose the levels of motivation that they experience are seriously diminished.
Purpose statements may also change as we change. My new purpose statement is, “The purpose of my life is have an even more balanced, health, and fit life today in order to apply my knowledge and help others create more empowering lives.”
If you want to support in defining your Purpose Statement give me a call at (480) 820-4072 and find out how to take your life to the next level of success.
To our continued success,
James
4/11/07
Get Real...Fast!
By James M Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ & Hypnosis
Behavioral Specialist
The first part of any change is to “Get Real.” You have heard this saying before but why is it so important? It is hard to look in a mirror and take a good hard look at ourselves. How many of you have full length mirrors in your bathroom and you walk by them everyday without stopping and really taking a look at yourself?
"Get Real" means that you stop and take a good hard look at where you are, NOW! Step on the scale and see exactly what it reads. This is a painful but necessary part of any change. It is also the first step of taking control of your life.
It is far easier to ignore the mirror and start to compare ourselves to others who are worse off than we are. You have hear it before, “Well, I’m not as big as so and so.” Or, “At least I am in a size 36 pants instead of a 40.” Statements such as these minimize/generalize where we are and in doing so we lose the emotional edge (usually frustration, anger, etc) that will allow us to move and create change. Nobody changes without a healthy level of frustration!
During my infantry training we learned land navigation. The first step in the process was to look at the map and figure out the 8 digit grid coordinate on the map for where we were, right then. It was the first step before we went anywhere. Without taking a good hard look at where we were starting from, we could not figure out any of the other calculations necessary to make it through to the other points along the route. If you were off in your initial calculation of where you started from you were lost before you ever began.
The first part of any change is to “Get Real” with where you are. You are not “a little heavy”; you don’t need to “lose a few.” The scale reads in at 240, you are 50 pounds overweight and you have a big fat butt. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can change!
Pick an area of your life that you want to change and “Get Real.” Now! Stop comparing yourself to others and retelling those same old stories, everyone is getting tired of hearing them anyway! Define with specificity where you are today so that you can succeed in the future. If you feel that healthy level of frustration at where you are, you are on the path to success.
Stay tuned for the next step tomorrow!
To our continued success,
James
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ & Hypnosis
Behavioral Specialist
The first part of any change is to “Get Real.” You have heard this saying before but why is it so important? It is hard to look in a mirror and take a good hard look at ourselves. How many of you have full length mirrors in your bathroom and you walk by them everyday without stopping and really taking a look at yourself?
"Get Real" means that you stop and take a good hard look at where you are, NOW! Step on the scale and see exactly what it reads. This is a painful but necessary part of any change. It is also the first step of taking control of your life.
It is far easier to ignore the mirror and start to compare ourselves to others who are worse off than we are. You have hear it before, “Well, I’m not as big as so and so.” Or, “At least I am in a size 36 pants instead of a 40.” Statements such as these minimize/generalize where we are and in doing so we lose the emotional edge (usually frustration, anger, etc) that will allow us to move and create change. Nobody changes without a healthy level of frustration!
During my infantry training we learned land navigation. The first step in the process was to look at the map and figure out the 8 digit grid coordinate on the map for where we were, right then. It was the first step before we went anywhere. Without taking a good hard look at where we were starting from, we could not figure out any of the other calculations necessary to make it through to the other points along the route. If you were off in your initial calculation of where you started from you were lost before you ever began.
The first part of any change is to “Get Real” with where you are. You are not “a little heavy”; you don’t need to “lose a few.” The scale reads in at 240, you are 50 pounds overweight and you have a big fat butt. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can change!
Pick an area of your life that you want to change and “Get Real.” Now! Stop comparing yourself to others and retelling those same old stories, everyone is getting tired of hearing them anyway! Define with specificity where you are today so that you can succeed in the future. If you feel that healthy level of frustration at where you are, you are on the path to success.
Stay tuned for the next step tomorrow!
To our continued success,
James
4/5/07
The Power of Choice
by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
Success is dependent on one thing, choice. In the last movie of the Matrix trilogy, Neo and Mr. Smith are fighting. During the fight, Mr. Smith asks Neo, “Why are you still fighting? You know that you are going to lose. Don’t tell me it is for love, happiness, or other people. Why don’t you just give up? Why are you still fighting?” Neo’s answer is deep in its simplicity. He says, “Because I choose too.”
All personal growth, self help, changing your emotional states and your thinking come down to one thing; a person has to CHOOSE to take a different action if they want something different. And, it will be continuous, tough, and challenging. A person needs to be resilient, patient, and kind to themselves as they move through the process of change.
During my NLP training, the instructor said one thing that has really stuck with me. He said that when it comes to your clients, you do not want clients. You want successful clients. What determines a successful client? A successful client is someone who wants to change. It is true that you can not hypnotize someone into doing something that they are not willing to do. A successful client will put in the constant hard work and dedication to get back up every time they fall.
During my last Tony Robbins event, Date with Destiny, I found myself absolutely frustrated because I wanted to fix myself and be done with it. I wanted to finally let go of the responsibility to choose to change. After all, I had spent the last 5 years working on myself. I graduated college after flunking out, lost 60 pounds, found a great career path as a US Marshal after waiting a year and a half to get through the hiring process, and was dating a great gal. Why wasn’t I happy inside? I just wanted to get it over with and be done with it. So, I asked the personal trainer, “ I have been working in this self help (*&^^#@$@ for the last 5 years and you are telling me that I am going to have to do this every day for the rest of my life? She replied simply, “Yes!” I am not proud of my response. I flipper her the bird and said, “Well, I am good enough how I am right now.”
I have found that success is holding both paradigms in my mind at the same time. Finding balance, success, and worth in myself and my life now while at the same time respecting my need and desire to always be more. That is one of the greatest human paradoxes. How many people do you know that are only one or the other? They either focus on always being and having more to the detriment of having peace and happiness in their life today or else they are so intent on just being good now and living in the now that they lack any direction or future that will help them to become more?
Choice is the key to success. You always have a choice of what to think, believe, feel, experience and create for yourself. The power to choose a different action today will give you the future that you desire. Be thankful for all that you have today and respect your need to always be and do more. Take the responsibility to create the life of your dreams today and everyday for the rest of your life. It is the hardest and most rewarding job you will ever have!
What do you want different in your life? What are you going to CHOOSE to do in order to have a different experience? Choose to call today and start a new life!
To our continued success,
James
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
Success is dependent on one thing, choice. In the last movie of the Matrix trilogy, Neo and Mr. Smith are fighting. During the fight, Mr. Smith asks Neo, “Why are you still fighting? You know that you are going to lose. Don’t tell me it is for love, happiness, or other people. Why don’t you just give up? Why are you still fighting?” Neo’s answer is deep in its simplicity. He says, “Because I choose too.”
All personal growth, self help, changing your emotional states and your thinking come down to one thing; a person has to CHOOSE to take a different action if they want something different. And, it will be continuous, tough, and challenging. A person needs to be resilient, patient, and kind to themselves as they move through the process of change.
During my NLP training, the instructor said one thing that has really stuck with me. He said that when it comes to your clients, you do not want clients. You want successful clients. What determines a successful client? A successful client is someone who wants to change. It is true that you can not hypnotize someone into doing something that they are not willing to do. A successful client will put in the constant hard work and dedication to get back up every time they fall.
During my last Tony Robbins event, Date with Destiny, I found myself absolutely frustrated because I wanted to fix myself and be done with it. I wanted to finally let go of the responsibility to choose to change. After all, I had spent the last 5 years working on myself. I graduated college after flunking out, lost 60 pounds, found a great career path as a US Marshal after waiting a year and a half to get through the hiring process, and was dating a great gal. Why wasn’t I happy inside? I just wanted to get it over with and be done with it. So, I asked the personal trainer, “ I have been working in this self help (*&^^#@$@ for the last 5 years and you are telling me that I am going to have to do this every day for the rest of my life? She replied simply, “Yes!” I am not proud of my response. I flipper her the bird and said, “Well, I am good enough how I am right now.”
I have found that success is holding both paradigms in my mind at the same time. Finding balance, success, and worth in myself and my life now while at the same time respecting my need and desire to always be more. That is one of the greatest human paradoxes. How many people do you know that are only one or the other? They either focus on always being and having more to the detriment of having peace and happiness in their life today or else they are so intent on just being good now and living in the now that they lack any direction or future that will help them to become more?
Choice is the key to success. You always have a choice of what to think, believe, feel, experience and create for yourself. The power to choose a different action today will give you the future that you desire. Be thankful for all that you have today and respect your need to always be and do more. Take the responsibility to create the life of your dreams today and everyday for the rest of your life. It is the hardest and most rewarding job you will ever have!
What do you want different in your life? What are you going to CHOOSE to do in order to have a different experience? Choose to call today and start a new life!
To our continued success,
James
4/4/07
Top Ten Empowering Emotional States
by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
Motion creates emotion and mastering our emotional states is the key to success in life. Emotions are like sound waves. Each carries its own vibration level. You have experienced this at sometime in your life. For example, what is the energy level of a funeral home versus the energy level in a Superbowl or Final Four basketball game?
The vibration level of an emotion has similar characteristics found in atoms. In an atom there is a nucleus that consists of protons and neutrons. Electrons rotate in orbit around the nucleus at varying distances. The greater the energy level of the atom the farther away from the nucleus the electrons are able to orbit. Similarly, there are more electrons in orbit for higher energy atoms. This creates a greater energy field around the nucleus. This relationship is directly related to the Law of Attraction. The greater our emotional states the greater our sphere of attraction and the more a person will create or manifest. The more negative the thoughts, actions, and energy levels; the less of a sphere of attraction a person will have. If the negative emotions are strong enough the reverse process happens. A person will tend to repel what they most want and get what they “don’t want.” Our thoughts and emotions are like a magnet. At any moment we are either attract to us more of what we want or repelling what we want and attracting what we do not want. What are the primary emotions that will allow us to have the greatest levels of energy, ability to attract what we want and most successful life?
The Top Nine Empowering Emotions Ranked According to Energy Levels (Power VS Force by David Hawkins)
1. Enlightenment ~ Ineffable
2. Peace ~ Bliss
3. Joy ~ Serenity
4. Love ~ Reverence
5. Reason ~ Understanding
6. Acceptance ~ Forgiveness
7. Willingness ~ Optimism
8. Neutrality ~ Trust
9. Courage ~ Affirmation
The Top Ten Empowering Emotions for a Successful Life
1. Love
2. Gratitude/Appreciation
3. Curiosity
4. Excitement and Passion
5. Determination
6. Flexibility
7. Confidence
8. Cheerfulness
9. Health
10. Contribution/Giving
If you are experiencing any of the Top Ten Disempowering Emotions listed in my previous blog there are two solutions to get to one of the more empowering emotional states listed above.
1. Change your perception. Attach a different meaning to the situation that created or triggered the negative emotional state. In NLP, we ask the question, “What is there to learn from this, the learning of which will allow me to let go of these negative emotions easily and effortlessly? This will lead to you develop new internal beliefs, value systems and rules for the future.
2. Change your procedure. This is an external approach to take a different action in the future. Stop putting yourself in the situation where the disempowering emotional state is triggered. A person creates a change in their environment to produce a new or different emotional state.
The most important rule of all when it comes to experiencing different emotional states in our life is that you must give first before you receive. If you want more love in your life you need to practice giving love first. It is the choice to put yourself in motion and attaching a positive meaning to the action that creates the emotional state that you most desire. Sitting on the front porch swing waiting to get some energy to go exercise and walk will never produce greater health and vitality. You need to choose to get up and go walk and find a way to mentally focus on it being a good thing to create the new levels of health and vitality that you are looking for.
Most individuals tend to feel a core group of 10-12 emotions and do not deviate from them except on a rare occasion, like vacation. To experience more of life and change the emotional states you feel consistently takes work and practice. The hard work and dedication will pay off in the end with a better quality of life and you will attract more of what you desire.
Call or email for more information on how you can continue to control your emotional life instead of it controlling you.
To our continued success,
James
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
Motion creates emotion and mastering our emotional states is the key to success in life. Emotions are like sound waves. Each carries its own vibration level. You have experienced this at sometime in your life. For example, what is the energy level of a funeral home versus the energy level in a Superbowl or Final Four basketball game?
The vibration level of an emotion has similar characteristics found in atoms. In an atom there is a nucleus that consists of protons and neutrons. Electrons rotate in orbit around the nucleus at varying distances. The greater the energy level of the atom the farther away from the nucleus the electrons are able to orbit. Similarly, there are more electrons in orbit for higher energy atoms. This creates a greater energy field around the nucleus. This relationship is directly related to the Law of Attraction. The greater our emotional states the greater our sphere of attraction and the more a person will create or manifest. The more negative the thoughts, actions, and energy levels; the less of a sphere of attraction a person will have. If the negative emotions are strong enough the reverse process happens. A person will tend to repel what they most want and get what they “don’t want.” Our thoughts and emotions are like a magnet. At any moment we are either attract to us more of what we want or repelling what we want and attracting what we do not want. What are the primary emotions that will allow us to have the greatest levels of energy, ability to attract what we want and most successful life?
The Top Nine Empowering Emotions Ranked According to Energy Levels (Power VS Force by David Hawkins)
1. Enlightenment ~ Ineffable
2. Peace ~ Bliss
3. Joy ~ Serenity
4. Love ~ Reverence
5. Reason ~ Understanding
6. Acceptance ~ Forgiveness
7. Willingness ~ Optimism
8. Neutrality ~ Trust
9. Courage ~ Affirmation
The Top Ten Empowering Emotions for a Successful Life
1. Love
2. Gratitude/Appreciation
3. Curiosity
4. Excitement and Passion
5. Determination
6. Flexibility
7. Confidence
8. Cheerfulness
9. Health
10. Contribution/Giving
If you are experiencing any of the Top Ten Disempowering Emotions listed in my previous blog there are two solutions to get to one of the more empowering emotional states listed above.
1. Change your perception. Attach a different meaning to the situation that created or triggered the negative emotional state. In NLP, we ask the question, “What is there to learn from this, the learning of which will allow me to let go of these negative emotions easily and effortlessly? This will lead to you develop new internal beliefs, value systems and rules for the future.
2. Change your procedure. This is an external approach to take a different action in the future. Stop putting yourself in the situation where the disempowering emotional state is triggered. A person creates a change in their environment to produce a new or different emotional state.
The most important rule of all when it comes to experiencing different emotional states in our life is that you must give first before you receive. If you want more love in your life you need to practice giving love first. It is the choice to put yourself in motion and attaching a positive meaning to the action that creates the emotional state that you most desire. Sitting on the front porch swing waiting to get some energy to go exercise and walk will never produce greater health and vitality. You need to choose to get up and go walk and find a way to mentally focus on it being a good thing to create the new levels of health and vitality that you are looking for.
Most individuals tend to feel a core group of 10-12 emotions and do not deviate from them except on a rare occasion, like vacation. To experience more of life and change the emotional states you feel consistently takes work and practice. The hard work and dedication will pay off in the end with a better quality of life and you will attract more of what you desire.
Call or email for more information on how you can continue to control your emotional life instead of it controlling you.
To our continued success,
James
4/2/07
The Top Ten Disempowering Emotions: What are they trying to tell us?
by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
When people talk about changing their life they are really talking about changing the quality and intensity of the emotional states that they consistently experience. There are certain emotional states that we are driven towards and certain emotional states that we are driven away from.
Emotions give us insight into where we are incongruent in our values, beliefs, and unresolved significant emotional events. The outcome of any coaching or intervention process is to ease emotional conflict within a person and increase wholeness by attaching new meanings to their experiences. That increases choice and wholeness within a person.
The Top Ten Disempowering Emotions that people experience and the message they are working to communicate to you are:
1. Uncomfortable:
Message: When you feel bothered, impatient, bored, or irritated this emotion is telling you that you can be more than who you currently are.
Solution: Need to change your emotional state, get clear on what you want, and take an immediate action to achieve/experience something new.
2. Fear
Message: When you feel concern, apprehension, worry or terror this emotion is telling you that something is coming up in the future that you are not prepared for. This emotion gives you massive energy to prepare for the unforeseen.
Solution: Identify what is coming up in the future that you are not prepared for, find a new solution and take action to confront and walk through the fear.
3. Hurt
Message: When you feel a sense of loss or if means that an expectation has not been met. This is an important indicator that shows the depth of your caring about yourself of another individual/situation.
Solution: Identify if the expectation is still valid. Is it your responsibility or theirs for the emotion of the moment? Is the expectation still valid and useful? Identify what is within your direct control and influence to support the other person or yourself through the moment, adjust expectations for the future.
4. Anger
Message: When you feel irritated, angry, resentful, furious, livid, enraged, (usually from hurt) it is a fire and depth of emotional energy to make things right. It means that a standard that you have is not being met by yourself or others.
Solution: Use this deep intense energy to adjust your standards for yourself or others and take an immediate action to move towards resolution to the challenge or issue.
5. Frustration
Message: You keep trying the same thing to achieve your dreams/goals and it is not working.
Solution: Stay focused on your outcomes and change your approach. Try doing the exact opposite of what you are currently trying to get a different result.
6. Disappointment
Message: It shows the depth of your caring you have towards the person/situation and the high standards that you have set.
Solution: Change your expectation, adjust the time frames on the goals or things that you want to have/experience and remember that God’s delays are not God’s denials. That old saying, “there are no unreasonable goals, only unreasonable time frames attached to them sometimes,” could be applicable.
7. Guilt/Regret
Message: You violated a standard or belief that your hold true for yourself and you are not following through on what you know is best for you
Solution: Clean up your act! Step forward and do what you know is right and true for you independent of what others may think is “best for you” or “what you can or can not do”
8. Inadequacy
Message: You feel less that worthy, your own value and worth is low
Solution: Use this emotion to set outcomes for you to learn, grow, and contribute to others
9. Overwhelm/Overloaded
Message: You are feeling hopeless, helpless, depressed because events are controlling you instead of you controlling events
Solution: Reevaluate what is truly important to you in life, distinguish between Must’s, Should’s and Want’s, then take action
10. LonelinessMessage: Feeling alone and separate from others and you need a new form of connection
Solution: Find inside yourself a way to reconnect or look outside of yourself to your friends, family, peers, and groups to help those more in need
These Top Ten Disempowering Emotions are calls to action and unlocking more in life. With the understanding of the Message that they are trying to tell us and the Solution on how to work through them, life becomes easier and easier. You will always continue to experience these Top Ten Emotions in your life. A new paradigm of measuring success comes from decreasing the amount of time that it takes to understand the Message where we are not congruent, find a new solution, and take action to move through them every time you feel them.
When you work through your emotional states you begin to control your life instead of your life controlling you. That is personal power! They will lead you to the Top Ten Empowering Emotions! We will address those next time!
To our continued success,
James
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
When people talk about changing their life they are really talking about changing the quality and intensity of the emotional states that they consistently experience. There are certain emotional states that we are driven towards and certain emotional states that we are driven away from.
Emotions give us insight into where we are incongruent in our values, beliefs, and unresolved significant emotional events. The outcome of any coaching or intervention process is to ease emotional conflict within a person and increase wholeness by attaching new meanings to their experiences. That increases choice and wholeness within a person.
The Top Ten Disempowering Emotions that people experience and the message they are working to communicate to you are:
1. Uncomfortable:
Message: When you feel bothered, impatient, bored, or irritated this emotion is telling you that you can be more than who you currently are.
Solution: Need to change your emotional state, get clear on what you want, and take an immediate action to achieve/experience something new.
2. Fear
Message: When you feel concern, apprehension, worry or terror this emotion is telling you that something is coming up in the future that you are not prepared for. This emotion gives you massive energy to prepare for the unforeseen.
Solution: Identify what is coming up in the future that you are not prepared for, find a new solution and take action to confront and walk through the fear.
3. Hurt
Message: When you feel a sense of loss or if means that an expectation has not been met. This is an important indicator that shows the depth of your caring about yourself of another individual/situation.
Solution: Identify if the expectation is still valid. Is it your responsibility or theirs for the emotion of the moment? Is the expectation still valid and useful? Identify what is within your direct control and influence to support the other person or yourself through the moment, adjust expectations for the future.
4. Anger
Message: When you feel irritated, angry, resentful, furious, livid, enraged, (usually from hurt) it is a fire and depth of emotional energy to make things right. It means that a standard that you have is not being met by yourself or others.
Solution: Use this deep intense energy to adjust your standards for yourself or others and take an immediate action to move towards resolution to the challenge or issue.
5. Frustration
Message: You keep trying the same thing to achieve your dreams/goals and it is not working.
Solution: Stay focused on your outcomes and change your approach. Try doing the exact opposite of what you are currently trying to get a different result.
6. Disappointment
Message: It shows the depth of your caring you have towards the person/situation and the high standards that you have set.
Solution: Change your expectation, adjust the time frames on the goals or things that you want to have/experience and remember that God’s delays are not God’s denials. That old saying, “there are no unreasonable goals, only unreasonable time frames attached to them sometimes,” could be applicable.
7. Guilt/Regret
Message: You violated a standard or belief that your hold true for yourself and you are not following through on what you know is best for you
Solution: Clean up your act! Step forward and do what you know is right and true for you independent of what others may think is “best for you” or “what you can or can not do”
8. Inadequacy
Message: You feel less that worthy, your own value and worth is low
Solution: Use this emotion to set outcomes for you to learn, grow, and contribute to others
9. Overwhelm/Overloaded
Message: You are feeling hopeless, helpless, depressed because events are controlling you instead of you controlling events
Solution: Reevaluate what is truly important to you in life, distinguish between Must’s, Should’s and Want’s, then take action
10. LonelinessMessage: Feeling alone and separate from others and you need a new form of connection
Solution: Find inside yourself a way to reconnect or look outside of yourself to your friends, family, peers, and groups to help those more in need
These Top Ten Disempowering Emotions are calls to action and unlocking more in life. With the understanding of the Message that they are trying to tell us and the Solution on how to work through them, life becomes easier and easier. You will always continue to experience these Top Ten Emotions in your life. A new paradigm of measuring success comes from decreasing the amount of time that it takes to understand the Message where we are not congruent, find a new solution, and take action to move through them every time you feel them.
When you work through your emotional states you begin to control your life instead of your life controlling you. That is personal power! They will lead you to the Top Ten Empowering Emotions! We will address those next time!
To our continued success,
James
3/23/07
Peak Performance Coaching: the proof is in the psychotherapy pudding
by James Murphy
There are many parallels between coaching and psychotherapy in "how" the behavioral modification system is set up to support a client. An study conducted by the Group Health Cooperative Center for Health Studies, public release date: 22-Mar-2007, concluded that clients diagnosed with depression, who also received an antidepressant drug treatment and phone-based therapy as treatment, made an improvement in their life. The results were very positive.
As outlined in the blog entry of March 21, 2007 "What is Coaching?" metaphorically, the coaching process is like a number line from zer0 to ten. Zero is where you are now and ten is where you want to go. Psychotherapy has the inverse model that goes from zero to negative ten. It focuses on where you are now at zero and where are the issues in your past that are holding you back, negative ten. From there, the model and system for treatment is almost identical, minus the drug treatment. They define where the client wants to be, what is preventing them from achieving it, and look to use tools to create anew system of thinking that will support the greatest amount of change and wholeness for the client. Note the studies results below.
“With close to 400 patients, this is the largest study yet of psychotherapy delivered over the telephone,” said Evette J. Ludman, PhD, senior research associate, Group Health Center for Health Studies, the paper’s lead author. “It’s also the first to study the effectiveness of combining phone-based therapy with antidepressant drug treatment as provided in everyday medical practice.”
Long-term positive effects of initially adding phone-based therapy included improvements in patients’ symptoms of depression and satisfaction with their care, said Ludman. At 18 months, 77 percent of those who got phone-based therapy (but only 63 percent of those receiving regular care) reported their depression was “much” or “very much” improved. Those who received phone-based therapy were slightly better at taking their antidepressant medication as recommended, but that did not account for most of their improvement. And effects were stronger for patients with moderate to severe depression than for those with mild depression.
“We were surprised at how well the positive effects were maintained over time,” said Ludman. “As with weight control, maintaining improvement is the hardest part of treating depression.”
You can read the rest of the article by clicking here: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2007-03/ghcc-pte031907.php
With almost 8 years of coaching and over 16,000 telephone coaching sessions, telephone coaching works to support personal change. The process is greatly accelerated by hiring a coaching with skills and training in Neuro Linguistic Programming, NLP. NLP is a model of excellence that identifies "how" someone creates their outcomes. Then, easy and effective strategies are used clear up those issues from a clients past (zero to negative ten) and provide the client with instant change. A person can easily and effortlessly let go of unresolved emotional experiences from the past, change limiting beliefs and value systems and move forward with a telephone based coaching system to establish more empowering behaviors, actions and results. NLP processes combined with telephone coaching create results in a persons life. Your success is unlimited.
Many long term clients create a journal that is priceless in its content. It is a masterpiece built on their coaching experience. It contains the psychology of achievement, behavioral modification techniques, goals, challenges, accomplishments and results that are an irreplaceable reference tool.
If a telephone based therapy system achieves results in psychotherapy then the same system in coaching must achieve results also. The proof is in the NLP/Coaching pudding. Contact www.evolutionforsuccess.com if you want more results Now!
There are many parallels between coaching and psychotherapy in "how" the behavioral modification system is set up to support a client. An study conducted by the Group Health Cooperative Center for Health Studies, public release date: 22-Mar-2007, concluded that clients diagnosed with depression, who also received an antidepressant drug treatment and phone-based therapy as treatment, made an improvement in their life. The results were very positive.
As outlined in the blog entry of March 21, 2007 "What is Coaching?" metaphorically, the coaching process is like a number line from zer0 to ten. Zero is where you are now and ten is where you want to go. Psychotherapy has the inverse model that goes from zero to negative ten. It focuses on where you are now at zero and where are the issues in your past that are holding you back, negative ten. From there, the model and system for treatment is almost identical, minus the drug treatment. They define where the client wants to be, what is preventing them from achieving it, and look to use tools to create anew system of thinking that will support the greatest amount of change and wholeness for the client. Note the studies results below.
“With close to 400 patients, this is the largest study yet of psychotherapy delivered over the telephone,” said Evette J. Ludman, PhD, senior research associate, Group Health Center for Health Studies, the paper’s lead author. “It’s also the first to study the effectiveness of combining phone-based therapy with antidepressant drug treatment as provided in everyday medical practice.”
Long-term positive effects of initially adding phone-based therapy included improvements in patients’ symptoms of depression and satisfaction with their care, said Ludman. At 18 months, 77 percent of those who got phone-based therapy (but only 63 percent of those receiving regular care) reported their depression was “much” or “very much” improved. Those who received phone-based therapy were slightly better at taking their antidepressant medication as recommended, but that did not account for most of their improvement. And effects were stronger for patients with moderate to severe depression than for those with mild depression.
“We were surprised at how well the positive effects were maintained over time,” said Ludman. “As with weight control, maintaining improvement is the hardest part of treating depression.”
You can read the rest of the article by clicking here: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2007-03/ghcc-pte031907.php
With almost 8 years of coaching and over 16,000 telephone coaching sessions, telephone coaching works to support personal change. The process is greatly accelerated by hiring a coaching with skills and training in Neuro Linguistic Programming, NLP. NLP is a model of excellence that identifies "how" someone creates their outcomes. Then, easy and effective strategies are used clear up those issues from a clients past (zero to negative ten) and provide the client with instant change. A person can easily and effortlessly let go of unresolved emotional experiences from the past, change limiting beliefs and value systems and move forward with a telephone based coaching system to establish more empowering behaviors, actions and results. NLP processes combined with telephone coaching create results in a persons life. Your success is unlimited.
Many long term clients create a journal that is priceless in its content. It is a masterpiece built on their coaching experience. It contains the psychology of achievement, behavioral modification techniques, goals, challenges, accomplishments and results that are an irreplaceable reference tool.
If a telephone based therapy system achieves results in psychotherapy then the same system in coaching must achieve results also. The proof is in the NLP/Coaching pudding. Contact www.evolutionforsuccess.com if you want more results Now!
Are you in charge of your emotions or are your emotions in charge of you?
by James Murphy
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
When people talk about changing their life they are really talking about changing the quality and intensity of the emotional states that they consistently experience. There are certain emotional states that we are driven towards and certain emotional states that we are driven away from.
The study of emotions is the study or history. Emotions are the cause of war, peace, prosperity, and poverty. Conflicting emotions inside an individual are the core of dis-ease in the body. The key to changing the quality of our emotional states is to understand what the emotion is communicating to us. Emotions give us insight into where we are incongruent in our values, beliefs, and unresolved significant emotional events. The outcome of any coaching or intervention process is to ease emotional conflict within a person and increase wholeness by attaching new meanings to their experiences. That increases choice and wholeness within a person.
There are four main patterns that of how people deal with emotional states that are disempowering. In NLP, these disempowering states are called away from values.
1. Avoidance: we consistently distract ourselves from facing the incongruency through drugs, alcohol, TV, or any other self medicating or procrastinating behavior
2. Disassociation: we have a conscious understanding of the emotion and endure it or else we try to forget that we know it and deny it
3. Competition with others: we compare how our emotional state to others and make ours grow greater than theirs
4. Learn and Grow: Success is learning how to understand what the emotion is communicating to us, clearing up the conflict within, and enjoying a greater level of emotional health, or wholeness within an individual.
The Top 10 Disempowering Emotional Categories
1. Uncomfortable
2. Fear
3. Hurt
4. Anger
5. Frustration
6. Disappointment
7. Guilt/Regret
8. Inadequacy
9. Overwhelm/Overloaded
10. Loneliness
All of these disempowering emotions have a message for us. They are powerful indicators of conflict within our minds which creates dis-ease in the body. The key to having greater levels of positive emotional intensity is to clear up past unresolved significant emotional events, change the meaning that we attach to our experiences and condition in our new states. The next few blog entries will cover these aspects of “how” to have greater levels of emotional health.
Tomorrow’s entry will focus on the Top 10 Disempowering Emotional Categories, identifying what they are communicating to us and strategies to move through them.
The Law of Attraction states that you attract that which you focus on the most with the greatest levels of emotional intensity. If you want to attract more into your life, you need to have greater and greater levels of positive emotional intensity. Check out my Law of Attraction Teleconference on April 5, 2007.
If you are looking to create more change in your life and evolve to your next level of success, you can thrive and have all you want with the Fast Track Coaching Package. It is the most powerful, economical, coaching tool to support you on the market today.
Sign up today at www.evolutionforsuccess.com
To our continued success…James
Peak Performance Coach
Master Practitioner: NLP, Time Line
Therapy™ and Hypnosis
When people talk about changing their life they are really talking about changing the quality and intensity of the emotional states that they consistently experience. There are certain emotional states that we are driven towards and certain emotional states that we are driven away from.
The study of emotions is the study or history. Emotions are the cause of war, peace, prosperity, and poverty. Conflicting emotions inside an individual are the core of dis-ease in the body. The key to changing the quality of our emotional states is to understand what the emotion is communicating to us. Emotions give us insight into where we are incongruent in our values, beliefs, and unresolved significant emotional events. The outcome of any coaching or intervention process is to ease emotional conflict within a person and increase wholeness by attaching new meanings to their experiences. That increases choice and wholeness within a person.
There are four main patterns that of how people deal with emotional states that are disempowering. In NLP, these disempowering states are called away from values.
1. Avoidance: we consistently distract ourselves from facing the incongruency through drugs, alcohol, TV, or any other self medicating or procrastinating behavior
2. Disassociation: we have a conscious understanding of the emotion and endure it or else we try to forget that we know it and deny it
3. Competition with others: we compare how our emotional state to others and make ours grow greater than theirs
4. Learn and Grow: Success is learning how to understand what the emotion is communicating to us, clearing up the conflict within, and enjoying a greater level of emotional health, or wholeness within an individual.
The Top 10 Disempowering Emotional Categories
1. Uncomfortable
2. Fear
3. Hurt
4. Anger
5. Frustration
6. Disappointment
7. Guilt/Regret
8. Inadequacy
9. Overwhelm/Overloaded
10. Loneliness
All of these disempowering emotions have a message for us. They are powerful indicators of conflict within our minds which creates dis-ease in the body. The key to having greater levels of positive emotional intensity is to clear up past unresolved significant emotional events, change the meaning that we attach to our experiences and condition in our new states. The next few blog entries will cover these aspects of “how” to have greater levels of emotional health.
Tomorrow’s entry will focus on the Top 10 Disempowering Emotional Categories, identifying what they are communicating to us and strategies to move through them.
The Law of Attraction states that you attract that which you focus on the most with the greatest levels of emotional intensity. If you want to attract more into your life, you need to have greater and greater levels of positive emotional intensity. Check out my Law of Attraction Teleconference on April 5, 2007.
If you are looking to create more change in your life and evolve to your next level of success, you can thrive and have all you want with the Fast Track Coaching Package. It is the most powerful, economical, coaching tool to support you on the market today.
Sign up today at www.evolutionforsuccess.com
To our continued success…James
3/22/07
Outcome ~VS~ State, Who won?
by James Murphy
Are you sitting on the sidelines waiting to get in the game? Can you answer the question, “What do you want to have right now?” How you answered the question could be the difference between success and disappointment. Successful people answer with an Outcome ~VS~ a State.
An outcome is a specific result that you are focused on achieving. It is the left brain answer to your question. In land navigation every point has a specific grid coordinate. A person on a trip to Hawaii needs a specific grid coordinate to tell them exactly where they are starting from, where they are in the process of the flight, and how they will know when they have achieved their final destination. Without the grid coordinates a person is easily lost. Our lives are the same way. It is important to be able to answer this question in order to define your outcomes, “What is the specific result that I am focused on achieving today.”
A state is the exact opposite. It is a right brain answer and will be defined as value (feeling word) and is 100% emotional. Using the Hawaii example, a state is what you are going to be feeling once you step off of the plane: rest, relaxation, peace, quiet, tranquility, etc. It will be the emotional experience that is defined by your achieving your outcome.
Why is this distinction important? It is because of one simple principle: Motion Creates Emotion. Motion creates momentum and momentum is power, energy and force. Emotion does not always lead to motion. Do you need proof? I will give two words, lethargy and depression.
A person who is looking for a new experience must define their outcome; choose to take action towards its achievement so the desired emotional state will be produced. So, if you hear someone talk in a language pattern of, “When I feel happy then I will get up and go walk” or “Once I get past this tired feeling I will get to the gym,” they never will get to the emotional states that they most desire from life.
Ask someone today, “What do you want? What is the specific result that you are focused on achieving?” Successful people will be able to define their outcomes.
Do you desire more success? Put your life in motion to create emotion with peak performance coaching today.
To our continued success, James
Are you sitting on the sidelines waiting to get in the game? Can you answer the question, “What do you want to have right now?” How you answered the question could be the difference between success and disappointment. Successful people answer with an Outcome ~VS~ a State.
An outcome is a specific result that you are focused on achieving. It is the left brain answer to your question. In land navigation every point has a specific grid coordinate. A person on a trip to Hawaii needs a specific grid coordinate to tell them exactly where they are starting from, where they are in the process of the flight, and how they will know when they have achieved their final destination. Without the grid coordinates a person is easily lost. Our lives are the same way. It is important to be able to answer this question in order to define your outcomes, “What is the specific result that I am focused on achieving today.”
A state is the exact opposite. It is a right brain answer and will be defined as value (feeling word) and is 100% emotional. Using the Hawaii example, a state is what you are going to be feeling once you step off of the plane: rest, relaxation, peace, quiet, tranquility, etc. It will be the emotional experience that is defined by your achieving your outcome.
Why is this distinction important? It is because of one simple principle: Motion Creates Emotion. Motion creates momentum and momentum is power, energy and force. Emotion does not always lead to motion. Do you need proof? I will give two words, lethargy and depression.
A person who is looking for a new experience must define their outcome; choose to take action towards its achievement so the desired emotional state will be produced. So, if you hear someone talk in a language pattern of, “When I feel happy then I will get up and go walk” or “Once I get past this tired feeling I will get to the gym,” they never will get to the emotional states that they most desire from life.
Ask someone today, “What do you want? What is the specific result that you are focused on achieving?” Successful people will be able to define their outcomes.
Do you desire more success? Put your life in motion to create emotion with peak performance coaching today.
To our continued success, James
3/21/07
What is Peak Performance Coaching?
by James Murphy
You have heard about coaching but what is in it for you? How do you pick a great coach? What do they actually do? In order to find a great coach today there are three things that you need to define: the three part coaching process, your coaches experience, and your outcomes for hiring the coach.
The three part coaching process is simple. Picture a number line from 0 to 10 in your mind. Coaching is a model of support that focuses first on defining where you are now (0) and where you want to be (10). Having an end destination defined is crucial for any coaching process because without it, you will never be able to measure and assess your results and refine the new strategies and behaviors you are creating.
Most people forget that when you set a goal you simultaneously define all of the obstacles that you will have to overcome to achieve them. For example, if you have never run a day in your life and you signed up for a marathon, you put some big obstacles in place. These obstacles come can be defined as patterns of behavior that are mental (limiting beliefs), emotional (fear, overwhelm, self doubt), and physical in nature (my shins hurt today, I’m tired). The coach’s skill sets need to be able to support you to identify these obstacles and limitations, develop new strategies for success, and refine these processes until they are automatic.
The coach’s last main function is to hold you accountable for specifically defined actions that you agree to perform in between coaching sessions. It is great to sit on the phone all day and talk about our issues but if a person does not choose to take a different action then nothing will change.
The coach’s experience is crucial in being able to provide the client with the experience that they desire. My coaching is 80% psychology and 20% tools and strategies. That is because 80% of the challenges that we experience are in our mind. There are two types of fear: functional and non-functional fear. Functional fear is 10% of what we experience in our life today. Remember not to step off of the curb because the bus is coming down the street. Non-functional fear is our own creation based on what if’s, what about’s, and why’s that we ask ourselves. It truly is all in the mind and is False Evidence Appearing Real. The mind creates the other 90%.
An outcome is a specific result that you are focused on achieving. Know your outcome before you find a coach or at least make sure that the first exercise you and your coach go through is to define your outcomes. Otherwise, you may find yourself frustrated and going around and around in circles feeling lost in the woods.
So, you can experience success in three minutes or less every day with the Fast Track Coaching Plan. Check it out on my website. If you are going in circles, find an outstanding coach that will help you define where you want to be, identify your obstacles and develop new strategies for success, and hold you accountable to your new life!
You have heard about coaching but what is in it for you? How do you pick a great coach? What do they actually do? In order to find a great coach today there are three things that you need to define: the three part coaching process, your coaches experience, and your outcomes for hiring the coach.
The three part coaching process is simple. Picture a number line from 0 to 10 in your mind. Coaching is a model of support that focuses first on defining where you are now (0) and where you want to be (10). Having an end destination defined is crucial for any coaching process because without it, you will never be able to measure and assess your results and refine the new strategies and behaviors you are creating.
Most people forget that when you set a goal you simultaneously define all of the obstacles that you will have to overcome to achieve them. For example, if you have never run a day in your life and you signed up for a marathon, you put some big obstacles in place. These obstacles come can be defined as patterns of behavior that are mental (limiting beliefs), emotional (fear, overwhelm, self doubt), and physical in nature (my shins hurt today, I’m tired). The coach’s skill sets need to be able to support you to identify these obstacles and limitations, develop new strategies for success, and refine these processes until they are automatic.
The coach’s last main function is to hold you accountable for specifically defined actions that you agree to perform in between coaching sessions. It is great to sit on the phone all day and talk about our issues but if a person does not choose to take a different action then nothing will change.
The coach’s experience is crucial in being able to provide the client with the experience that they desire. My coaching is 80% psychology and 20% tools and strategies. That is because 80% of the challenges that we experience are in our mind. There are two types of fear: functional and non-functional fear. Functional fear is 10% of what we experience in our life today. Remember not to step off of the curb because the bus is coming down the street. Non-functional fear is our own creation based on what if’s, what about’s, and why’s that we ask ourselves. It truly is all in the mind and is False Evidence Appearing Real. The mind creates the other 90%.
An outcome is a specific result that you are focused on achieving. Know your outcome before you find a coach or at least make sure that the first exercise you and your coach go through is to define your outcomes. Otherwise, you may find yourself frustrated and going around and around in circles feeling lost in the woods.
So, you can experience success in three minutes or less every day with the Fast Track Coaching Plan. Check it out on my website. If you are going in circles, find an outstanding coach that will help you define where you want to be, identify your obstacles and develop new strategies for success, and hold you accountable to your new life!
3/20/07
CHANGE HAPPENS
Change equals FEAR for most people. Take a look at this wonderful link about how fast the world is changing.
In today’s exponentially changing times, if you want to increase your levels of success you should prepare to be a leader in your field by mastering learning and information through Accelerated Learning Techniques, Specialization in your field of study, and create a LOVE OF CHANGE. In NLP, we say that the person with the greatest flexibility controls the system. The level of success that you have in life is directly proportional to the amount of Uncertainty/Change you can handle. Letting go of Certainty will allow you to access greater levels of uncertainty.
How much uncertainty and variety can you handle in your life?
What have you done today to learn and grow in your field?
To our continued success,
James
In today’s exponentially changing times, if you want to increase your levels of success you should prepare to be a leader in your field by mastering learning and information through Accelerated Learning Techniques, Specialization in your field of study, and create a LOVE OF CHANGE. In NLP, we say that the person with the greatest flexibility controls the system. The level of success that you have in life is directly proportional to the amount of Uncertainty/Change you can handle. Letting go of Certainty will allow you to access greater levels of uncertainty.
How much uncertainty and variety can you handle in your life?
What have you done today to learn and grow in your field?
To our continued success,
James
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